Home Trades, Passes and Bombs

burn one, toke in, flop out

webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
Not long ago, I bought a hundred stick humidor hoping to age some home rolled cigars in there. At this point I am so over loaded with all these gack hacking dog turds BOTLs keep on sending me in the mail that I no longer have the least room left for any shaggy footed knobbly cheroots I may produce. I am out of ideas. I don't know why it continues. I have certainly never expressed any gratitude whatever for any bombs I have received, have I? Haven't I done my best to make myself odious on these forums, writing irrelevant posts that get politely ignored in the general topic, asking dumb noob questions in 101, writing dumb noob reviews in reviews, and biting the heads off chihuahuas and spitting them down the throats of pit bulls in the non cigar related? ... and still I get bombed. Why? What does a guy have to do?

I get home yesterday and the RedHead had found this from kuzi:
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... and this from allsmokedup:
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I have made it clear over and over that the RedHead does not like it. She sent me promptly to the dog house. Again. Thanks, guys. Out of ideas, I asked the dog what to do. He suggested I do what he does, and consult his growlru, the Doggie Lama. I gave DL a howl. He advised me to stop ****, burn one, toke in, and flop out. But when I announced "Great idea! I'm going to fire one of these puppies up," that's when they kicked me out of the dog house. Maybe I just don't express myself well.
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Been meditating on it. Can't think what else to do. Gotta get rid of these dog turds. So I have determined to become Johnnny Sotweedseed. Gonna pick up a half dozen plastic water bottles at the dollar store, load each one up with these smelly sticks people keep sending, strap these half dozen IEDs to my body, and head down the Blue Ridge Parkway early next month on my camping trip. Anyone I meet who agrees to try cigars is gonna get bombed by me right up close and personal. Total strangers. Hit and run. No way of getting back at me. Little kids fresh off the school bus if necessary.

Let you know how it turns out.

“It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


Comments

  • allsmokedupallsmokedup Posts: 751 ✭✭
    Hey, at least you didn't get swatted!
  • scarlinscarlin Posts: 1,592
    That dog is scaring me..Although, I must say you have a lot of AJs there :P
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