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John Hay gack and a half

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Rode our big beemer bagger named Annie up to Lititz PA today to pick up a pair of rubber bushings from the dealer; then cut right, along route 772 to Kitchen Kettle Village in Intercourse. Myself and Bearswatter (the artiste formerly known as RedHead) aboard Annie, a fellow beemer rider Rod Don aboard his racy beemer K1200RS, and another gal Tracy aboard her R1200GS. While Tracy went shopping in the tourist traps, Rod, myself, and Bearswatter dropped in at the John Hay Cigars factory store. I scored one of their Statesman Natural 6" cigars. Rod scored one of their Statesman similar, but cognac flavored. We stepped out back to a garden area, found a couple benches beside a flower bed in the shade of old mature trees and with a breeze.

Their Statesman series is rolled in PA from tobacco all grown in Lancaster and York counties. All that I've seen grown are on Amish farms. They don't tell you a ring gauge; I'd say Lonsdale. Four bucks for a single; though the price goes down to two bucks by the 50 count box. Both cigars had some gigantor veins in the wrappers. Mottled color. Some in the boxes were positively two-toned, wrapping round like barber poles. Mine smelt just like the ones I rolled from PA leaf I scored from leafonly.com. It was a 90+ degree day, and stuffy as well. The room where they were kept was not air conditioned. Their idea of a humidifier was a sweaty room. Both cigars were therefore damp feeling. Terrible plugged draw.

Nearly impossible to light. Rod just about emptied his cigar lighter trying to get his to go. I tried his lighter, gave up, scored a pack of matches, and used half a pack to get mine started. Had to draw so hard my cheeks were touching in the middle. Rod tossed his stogie within the first eighth inch. It was full on GACK! He pulled out an emergency Acid to drive away the flavor. Me, I just don't grok flavored cigars. I originally rated mine a full gack as well. Had me spitting from the get-go. But being hard headed, I hung in there. Sucking like a Tijuana hooker on a tight schedule to get smoke out.

Look at this mess. What a miserable burn:
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Raggedy ass burn, soggy dissolved head, tastes like Bugler. More I sucked, more the head dissolved in my teeth. More I smoked, though, the more tolerable it became. Kind of like eating horehound, you know? Horehound is a shudder to start with, but then you get into it. I got used to this. Almost got into it. Eventually, I was even glad I did hang in, because I learned some important stuff. Glad I persisted because, see, I was thoroughly disappointed by my attempt at rolling my own. First, I thought I had rolled up too tight and damp. Bad draw. But here is a factory made with what looks like the same broadleaf, and it had an even worse draw than mine. Second, mine were mottled. Well, this was even more mottled than mine. Third, mine were coarse and veiny. These even more so. Most important, mine tasted like Bugler cig tobacco wrapped into a stogie. This likewise. Therefore, what good news I took from this is that it was probably not me, but the leaf, that marred my attempt. The challenge therefore is where to get better leaf.

So that line of thinking took me back into their store, where I scored one of their Ambassador series, made with Nicaraguan filler and Habano wrapper. Stuck that in one of those black plastic crush proof airtight cigars tubes I like so much. Brought it home, stuck it in the humi, will give it a couple days to lose the hot and sweaty, and then compare. I'll let you know.

So I gave mine half a gack. Still, though, a gack and a half out of two is not worth you driving to Intercourse PA to score a John Hay.

“It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


Comments

  • BigshizzaBigshizza Posts: 15,644 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Davis you crack me up!! I feel for you...but you did try it out, gotta give yourself credit for that. Remember when you ride, it's the journey, not the destination. Sounds like an interesting journey.
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