you can't make this stuff up

17879818384275

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  • webmost
    webmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    peter4jc said:
    0patience said:

    BILL INTRODUCED IN CONGRESS WOULD BAN INTERNET CIGAR & E-CIGARETTE SALES, FLAVORED TOBACCO


    They are going to continue to try and get all kinds of bills pushed through, until no one can buy any tobacco at all.

    Land of the free.
    I'm going to start a church where tobacco use is sacramental so the gummint can't do anything about it.  Then you all can join my church and we all stay smokey ever after.
    I have on the order of 40 lbs. of aged cigar tobacco in my stash right here, salted away against the eventual tobaccolypse. When it comes to where you can't get none, I'm your candy man.

    Roll your own.
    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • webmost
    webmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    A felon named Fellony was charged with new felonies.

    https://www.foxnews.com/us/felon-named-fellony-charged-with-new-felonies



    Thanks, Mom.


    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • peter4jc
    peter4jc Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Their thermometers froze so they can't report in...
    "I could've had a Mi Querida!"   Nick Bardis
  • jd50ae
    jd50ae Posts: 7,900 ✭✭✭✭✭
    A new low even for liberals, what have we become...

    Outrage as video shows Virginia abortion bill sponsor saying plan would allow termination up until birth

    https://www.foxnews.com/politics/outrage-after-virginia-abortion-bill-sponsor-admits-pregnancies-could-be-terminated-up-until-birth
  • webmost
    webmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    There will come a day when the future will look back with disgust.
    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • Bob_Luken
    Bob_Luken Posts: 11,704 ✭✭✭✭✭
    webmost said:
    There will come a day when the future will look back with disgust.
    One loaded setup,....... sooo many available jokes. 
  • jd50ae
    jd50ae Posts: 7,900 ✭✭✭✭✭
    webmost said:
    There will come a day when the future will look back with disgust.
    Don't have to wait. I am disgusted now.
  • Yakster
    Yakster Posts: 31,637 ✭✭✭✭✭
    webmost said:
    There will come a day when the future will look back with disgust.

    It usually happens when the future is a teenager.  When the future gets older they realize the future ain't all of that either.
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  • webmost
    webmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Yakster said:
    webmost said:
    There will come a day when the future will look back with disgust.

    It usually happens when the future is a teenager.  When the future gets older they realize the future ain't all of that either.
    Nah, this is beyond that. We are Aztecs when it comes to baby murder. You can call it women's rights all day long... we're still murdering babies. Zygotes is one thing; babies is entirely something else.
    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • silvermouse
    silvermouse Posts: 23,589 ✭✭✭✭✭
    and then again, there's warfare which perpetrates huge collateral damage. The rationale is that it is 'necessary'.
  • webmost
    webmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • dirtdude
    dirtdude Posts: 6,239 ✭✭✭✭✭
    That's funny,  you're gonna be monied up for Muletown.
    A little dirt never hurt
  • IndustMech
    IndustMech Posts: 5,260 ✭✭✭✭✭
    dirtdude said:
    That's funny,  you're gonna be monied up for Muletown.
    It'll be a challenge to get any money out of this guy.

    I know, You're a big dog and I'm on the list.
    Let's eat, GrandMa.  /  Let's eat GrandMa.  --  Punctuation saves lives

    It'll be fine once the swelling goes down.

  • BKDog
    BKDog Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Q: "Is that your Toyota Prius?"

    A: "Do I look like I drive a Prius?"


    "Love is a dung heap, Betty and I am but a c.o.c.k. that climbs upon it to crow."
  • Amos_Umwhat
    Amos_Umwhat Posts: 9,859 ✭✭✭✭✭
    dirtdude said:
    That's funny,  you're gonna be monied up for Muletown.
    It'll be a challenge to get any money out of this guy.
    You want we should beat it out of him for you?  >:)   Just kidding of course.  o:) 


    :#
    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
  • Amos_Umwhat
    Amos_Umwhat Posts: 9,859 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Or not
    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
  • Bob_Luken
    Bob_Luken Posts: 11,704 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2019

    This happened to me, 30 minutes ago.

    A member of management, who was in preschool when I started, asked me "if I was a visitor today". I told him "no". He then asked why I parked in the visitor parking space, I told him "I didn't park in the visitor parking space"  He said he was "sure I did", I asked "how sure" he replied "extremely sure". I asked if he was "willing to put his money where his mouth was", he said "sure". I asked "How much"? He said "a thousand". we then walked a few feet to the window and he asked "isn't that your Toyota" (Prius)(silver)? I said " No I drive a Ford, it's parked over there"

    What kind of idiot bets a man $1,000 where he parked 2 hours ago?

    I think I'll start parking in the visitor spot...





    Oh, I would never let a moment with that guy pass without reminding him he owes me money. Yes, he's an idiot.  All he had to do was bet small and be ready to pay (even if he wasn't smart enough to realize he'd already lost).  Or is this a millennial thing? Do millennials throw out a number like "a thousand" expecting nobody to consider it a serious bet? What a d***head.  



  • CharlieHeis
    CharlieHeis Posts: 8,981 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Bob_Luken said:

    This happened to me, 30 minutes ago.

    A member of management, who was in preschool when I started, asked me "if I was a visitor today". I told him "no". He then asked why I parked in the visitor parking space, I told him "I didn't park in the visitor parking space"  He said he was "sure I did", I asked "how sure" he replied "extremely sure". I asked if he was "willing to put his money where his mouth was", he said "sure". I asked "How much"? He said "a thousand". we then walked a few feet to the window and he asked "isn't that your Toyota" (Prius)(silver)? I said " No I drive a Ford, it's parked over there"

    What kind of idiot bets a man $1,000 where he parked 2 hours ago?

    I think I'll start parking in the visitor spot...





    Oh, I would never let a moment with that guy pass without reminding him he owes me money. Yes, he's an idiot.  All he had to do was bet small and be ready to pay (even if he wasn't smart enough to realize he'd already lost).  Or is this a millennial thing? Do millennials throw out a number like "a thousand" expecting nobody to consider it a serious bet? What a d***head.  



    Every damn day I would remind this dipshït he owes me money, if I was in John's shoes. He would get so sick of me reminding him he would probably pay me to stfu.
  • IndustMech
    IndustMech Posts: 5,260 ✭✭✭✭✭
    So, Steve. You're saying if he doesn't pay I beat the ever lovin **** out of him.

    I know, You're a big dog and I'm on the list.
    Let's eat, GrandMa.  /  Let's eat GrandMa.  --  Punctuation saves lives

    It'll be fine once the swelling goes down.

  • Patrickbrick
    Patrickbrick Posts: 8,086 ✭✭✭✭✭
    No, the boss never gets their hands dirty.  You send someone to beat the ever living **** out of him, repeatedly until he pays.
    "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give".  Winston Churchill.
    MOW badge received.
  • Yakster
    Yakster Posts: 31,637 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Wondering what cut @stubble takes for these sorts of things.
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  • Amos_Umwhat
    Amos_Umwhat Posts: 9,859 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2019
    Friends helping friends.  It's what makes the world go 'round.  

    Koom bah yah.....Koom bah yah....

    :D
    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
  • Stubble
    Stubble Posts: 10,213 ✭✭✭✭✭
    So, Steve. You're saying if he doesn't pay I beat the ever lovin **** out of him.
    Never would infer that.  All you have to do is convince him you would.   If that don't work, well then........
    Hey, you gonna eat the rest of that corndog?
  • IndustMech
    IndustMech Posts: 5,260 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Stubble said:
    So, Steve. You're saying if he doesn't pay I beat the ever lovin **** out of him.
    Never would infer that.  All you have to do is convince him you would.   If that don't work, well then........
    I like to negotiate as I go...

    I know, You're a big dog and I'm on the list.
    Let's eat, GrandMa.  /  Let's eat GrandMa.  --  Punctuation saves lives

    It'll be fine once the swelling goes down.

  • webmost
    webmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Put Chilli Palmer on the job https://youtu.be/rh8OdlSXiDo I love that Chilli Palmer. Everyone asks him "What do you do if they don't pay?" and he always says "They always pay."
    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • jd50ae
    jd50ae Posts: 7,900 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2019
    A long time ago, and far far away, I would occasionally help someone who was owed something. After about a day of inquires to people who knew the individuals concerned, you could alway find the one question that usually helped resolve the matter. Bartenders were always great sources of truthful information, just like in the movies. You would pose that question to the person who owed, and usually matters were taken care of. There was never any need for threats or anything else.
    Most of the people I helped were in fact bartenders, waitress or club/bar owners. I got a lot of free drinks and food and they always had my back (love that phrase).
  • peter4jc
    peter4jc Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I like to negotiate as I go...
    This comes to mind...

    https://youtu.be/_M42tgfNuNA
    "I could've had a Mi Querida!"   Nick Bardis