Did I Get A Good Deal?

mropusx
mropusx Posts: 16 ✭✭

I recently did what any emotionally stable adult does not do and went on an unhinged Opus X buying spree, which is basically the cigar equivalent of adopting exotic animals because they’re “beautiful” and “rare” and “definitely won’t ruin my life.” This all started, as it always does, with Arturo Fuente whispering sweet nothings like "limited, anniversary, and you deserve this."

First is the Opus X 25th Anniversary Tributo. Full box, 25 cigars, $1,228.95 — or $49.15 per stick. The name Tributo is perfect, because each cigar feels like a ceremonial offering I make before lighting it, hoping the cigar gods forgive my past financial sins. These aren’t cigars you casually smoke. These are cigars you apologize to before cutting. I didn’t buy a box — I funded a small Dominican chapel.

Then things escalated with the Opus X Angel’s Share Robusto. Full box of 29 for $787.45, or $27.15 each. Seriously I have never seen them before and had no idea what I was actually buying. Angel’s Share is traditionally the portion lost to evaporation during aging. In my case, it’s the portion of my paycheck that mysteriously disappears every time Fuente releases something shiny. I like to imagine angels leaning over my humidor going, “Hey… weren’t those supposed to be ours?”

Just when sanity was waving from the roadside, I dove headfirst into a Love Affair. Literally. Sixteen Opus X Love Affair cigars for $315.76, or $19.73 each. Love Affair is the most honest cigar name ever printed. These cigars don’t want to be smoked occasionally. They want commitment. Monogamy. They want you to stop looking at other brands and delete your Tinder account. Every time I smoke one, the rest of my humidor looks like it’s been emotionally ghosted.

And because I clearly believe in finishing what I start (badly), I’m also about to acquire a full 50-count box of Partagas Signature Series 150 "A"s, from the Cullman Brothers / General Cigar / Scandinavian Tobacco Group. The 150s — cigars so controversial they don’t come with tasting notes, they come with arguments. Nobody agrees on the flavor, the value, or whether they’re transcendent or insane… which, naturally, makes me want them even more.

At this point, I’m not collecting cigars — I’m assembling a psychological profile. So tell me straight: did I get a great deal, a fair deal, or should my credit card be placed in witness protection? Either way, I regret nothing, I have zero plans to stop, and I accept that Opus X and Partagas 150s are no longer cigars to me — they’re a lifestyle choice I didn’t fully discuss with my bank.

Full disclosure: yes, I used ChatGPT to help write this, because at the moment the only thing responding to me reliably is an AI and my humidor. Women are apparently on backorder, my dating life is in a prolonged supply-chain crisis, and my depression is running at full MSRP. So while I’m not getting laid, I am getting Opus X—and frankly, they never cancel plans, never ghost, and always show up beautifully wrapped and ready to make me feel something. If this post sounds unusually articulate, thank the robot. If it sounds like a man filling an emotional void with premium tobacco… congratulations, you’ve met me.




Comments

  • dirtdude
    dirtdude Posts: 6,597 ✭✭✭✭✭

    You got a great deal

    A little dirt never hurt
  • Vision
    Vision Posts: 10,347 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 9

    I’ve always found that the least impressive thing about a cigar, is the price tag. If you like what you purchased, that’s all that matters. Most of us would’ve taken that money and purchased stuff way different and way less expensive that in most of our humble opinions are much better sticks.

  • Yakster
    Yakster Posts: 32,684 ✭✭✭✭✭

    tl;dr

    How many cigars do smoke a week?

    Join us on Zoom vHerf (Meeting # 2619860114 Password vHerf2020 )
  • peter4jc
    peter4jc Posts: 18,524 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Long on funds... short on brains.

    Unless, of course, your only goal is to troll a bunch of down-to-earth fellas who know more than you do about how to enjoy cigars and what role they should play in a man's life, you may have succeeded in that.

    "I could've had a Mi Querida!"   Nick Bardis
  • ShawnOL
    ShawnOL Posts: 14,542 ✭✭✭✭✭

    I'd have spent all that money on a butt-load of AJ stuff and have a years worth of enjoyment.

    Trapped in the People's Communist Republic of Massachusetts.

  • NorthSideSmoke
    NorthSideSmoke Posts: 1,737 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 9

    @mropusx I personally have nothing against Fuente's I think they're fine cigars minus the price of course, but found your post to be pretty funny with a lot of self reflection.

    If you enjoy them that's really all that matters. Most of us here smoke stronger cigars and if you stick with the hobby you'll end up leaning that way as well most likely.

    Enjoy and welcome to the forum.

    PS if I had that kind of money to toss away on cigars I would have thrown it at boxes of Padrons lol

  • Itsfine
    Itsfine Posts: 21,170 ✭✭✭✭✭

    I smoked a partagas 150 in 2017 and it was pure air.

    I am the Troll Jesus. Follow me, my children, or clutch your pearls tightly.

    @ScotchnSmoke still sux lots of large wéiners. And tons of small ones. 
  • dirtdude
    dirtdude Posts: 6,597 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Smoke what you like, if you have the money to burn spend it on what you like

    A little dirt never hurt
  • WolfHunter909_
    WolfHunter909_ Posts: 135 ✭✭✭

    Like others have said
    In the end it's what makes you happy

  • Vision
    Vision Posts: 10,347 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Best explanation yet!

  • NorthSideSmoke
    NorthSideSmoke Posts: 1,737 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @Rdp77 I actually disagree with that analogy. Because regardless of your first post Fuente doesn’t make “**** cigars” they make good cigars that in some cases are way too expensive.

    But it’s not Ferrari vs Ford. It’s “The name you know” people do trust the brand.

    I smoked a Hemingway Signature the other day. Enjoyed the hell out of even picked up a 5er since they were on sale. And except people who love to hate I have never heard anyone say “oh that Opus X was a **** cigar”

    There are just much better cigars a person could buy for that money. But the key is “for that money”

    But I don’t see this any different when a new guy who comes to the forum and posts truly awful cigars because right now they don’t know any better.

    I wouldn’t bag on a dude posting a La Perla, but I would hope he would learn.

    No difference.

  • Vision
    Vision Posts: 10,347 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 10

    @NorthSideSmoke said:
    @Rdp77 I actually disagree with that analogy. Because regardless of your first post Fuente doesn’t make “**** cigars” they make good cigars that in some cases are way too expensive.

    But it’s not Ferrari vs Ford. It’s “The name you know” people do trust the brand.

    I smoked a Hemingway Signature the other day. Enjoyed the hell out of even picked up a 5er since they were on sale. And except people who love to hate I have never heard anyone say “oh that Opus X was a **** cigar”

    There are just much better cigars a person could buy for that money. But the key is “for that money”

    But I don’t see this any different when a new guy who comes to the forum and posts truly awful cigars because right now they don’t know any better.

    I wouldn’t bag on a dude posting a La Perla, but I would hope he would learn.

    No difference.

    And see this is where I disagree with you. I have on hand, maybe between 30 to 50 Fuente. I don’t think there’s a really good one in the lot. The Anejo are great Fuente cigars, but I wouldn’t consider them a great cigar. When I reach into my humidor, I bypass all of my Opus to reach for a five dollar Fernandez. And for me, I haven’t had a good Hemmingway in nearly 15 years. I think taste is subjective, obviously but have to wonder how many people still buy Fuente based off of the name alone. Outside of marketing, I don’t think they do anything exceptionally well.

    Edit: every single person I know that’s had a tarred up Opus has said it’s a **** Cigar.

  • Olekingcole
    Olekingcole Posts: 1,555 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Do what makes you happy and enjoy the experience. You can always earn more money but you can’t make a manufacturer make cigars they decide to stop making. Enjoy what you can while you can. It’s your life, who cares what I think

    I don't have problems, just more work to do.

  • Rdp77
    Rdp77 Posts: 8,444 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @NorthSideSmoke said:
    @Rdp77 I actually disagree with that analogy. Because regardless of your first post Fuente doesn’t make “**** cigars” they make good cigars that in some cases are way too expensive.

    But it’s not Ferrari vs Ford. It’s “The name you know” people do trust the brand.

    I smoked a Hemingway Signature the other day. Enjoyed the hell out of even picked up a 5er since they were on sale. And except people who love to hate I have never heard anyone say “oh that Opus X was a **** cigar”

    There are just much better cigars a person could buy for that money. But the key is “for that money”

    But I don’t see this any different when a new guy who comes to the forum and posts truly awful cigars because right now they don’t know any better.

    I wouldn’t bag on a dude posting a La Perla, but I would hope he would learn.

    No difference.

    I respect that, but it’s your opinion. Just like the first line of my post :
    Ok, so let me clear something up about my views on Fuente, and specifically Opus, cigars.
    To me they’re like the Ferrari of the cigar world.

    Please note the words “my views” and “to me”. I was not stating something as a proven fact, just my opinion. I don’t want to nor do I expect to change anyone’s mind. Simply stating why my view on the subject is what it is.

    And I will agree that it is “the name you know”. That’s kind of my point. If everyone tells you that they are the best…I guess they have to be.

    If it don’t bother me, it don’t bother me. Just leave me alone.

  • NorthSideSmoke
    NorthSideSmoke Posts: 1,737 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 10

    If you post your views be prepared for someone to give theirs, no need to go all bunched panties.

  • Vision
    Vision Posts: 10,347 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 10

    @NorthSideSmoke said:
    If you post your views be prepared for someone to give theirs, no need to go all bunched panties.

    What…. ? You like Fuente, you’re offended, we get it.

    A wise man once told me there are two types of cigars. “Good cigars and cigars that are just not for you. And then there is Fuente.”

  • Rdp77
    Rdp77 Posts: 8,444 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @NorthSideSmoke said:
    If you post your views be prepared for someone to give theirs, no need to go all bunched panties.

    lol, bunched panties
    That’s comical. Please explain what part of my reply you are referring to.

    If it don’t bother me, it don’t bother me. Just leave me alone.

  • dirtdude
    dirtdude Posts: 6,597 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Get your Ferrari off my lawn

    A little dirt never hurt
  • dirtdude
    dirtdude Posts: 6,597 ✭✭✭✭✭

    I have a friend whose business nets a hundred million a year, enjoys a cigar, could even afford a Ghurka if he wanted, dude throws a wet sponge in his humidor for humidity, I've talked to him about boveda but a wet sponge will do, just not that important

    A little dirt never hurt