Damn you, Cigar Aficianado! Damn you all to hell!
raisindot
Posts: 1,294 ✭✭✭
Okay, I admit I started a subscription to CA but only because I was offered a free subscription through one of those ubiquitous "free magazine offer for a year and then we'll automatically renew at it crazy expensive because you'll forget all about it next year and you'll have no idea how to stop it because you threw the subscription email away" things after I bought something online somewhere.
Anyhoo.
I got my first mag last week, and all I can say, Damn You, CA! Not only are your crack-addict articles extolling the virtues of $200,000 cars, $100,000 watches and the Trump Golf course messing around my loony liberal hatred of things catering to the decadent habits of the 1% club, but they also had an article about bourbon that for a moment made me think, in a moment of weakness, "Hmmmm, maybe $200 isn't all that bad for a bottle of Elijah Craig 23 Aged Years Single Barrel." Fortunately, an email alerted me of the need to pay my kids latest college tuition installment curtained that fantasy.
But then...the cigar reviews. They beckon, like sirens...and I got sucked into buying three of the 93-rated Laranja Reserva Toros (which, naturally, are just about sold out as singles or fivers except for one site I found), and am scouring the bid sites for the 93-rated Fuente Don Carlos Belicoso. And cackling--CACKLING in smugness because the OpusX Lost City Robusto received "only" an 88, totally justifying my contention that, next to everything Gurhkha makes, the OpusX is the most overrated expensive cigar of all time.
I mean, CA's ratings have to be right, don't they? Just because Padron is their biggest advertiser doesn't mean that the Pardon Family Reserve Robusto doesn't deserve its 92 rating, right? Right?
Still...I'm out $30 in cigar purchases this month...thanks a lot, CA. Thanks a whole damn lot.
Anyhoo.
I got my first mag last week, and all I can say, Damn You, CA! Not only are your crack-addict articles extolling the virtues of $200,000 cars, $100,000 watches and the Trump Golf course messing around my loony liberal hatred of things catering to the decadent habits of the 1% club, but they also had an article about bourbon that for a moment made me think, in a moment of weakness, "Hmmmm, maybe $200 isn't all that bad for a bottle of Elijah Craig 23 Aged Years Single Barrel." Fortunately, an email alerted me of the need to pay my kids latest college tuition installment curtained that fantasy.
But then...the cigar reviews. They beckon, like sirens...and I got sucked into buying three of the 93-rated Laranja Reserva Toros (which, naturally, are just about sold out as singles or fivers except for one site I found), and am scouring the bid sites for the 93-rated Fuente Don Carlos Belicoso. And cackling--CACKLING in smugness because the OpusX Lost City Robusto received "only" an 88, totally justifying my contention that, next to everything Gurhkha makes, the OpusX is the most overrated expensive cigar of all time.
I mean, CA's ratings have to be right, don't they? Just because Padron is their biggest advertiser doesn't mean that the Pardon Family Reserve Robusto doesn't deserve its 92 rating, right? Right?
Still...I'm out $30 in cigar purchases this month...thanks a lot, CA. Thanks a whole damn lot.
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Damn CA. I enjoy the magazine, but take the ratings with a grain of salt. Great read while smoking a cigar and good to see what they are reviewing, but if you run out and buy every 90+ rated cigar from them you will become broke and disappointed (and also miss a lot of great cigars that are rated low).
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On the bright side, the Laranja is an excellent cigar."I drink a great deal. I sleep a little, and I smoke cigar after cigar. That is why I am in two-hundred-percent form."
-- Winston Churchill
"LET'S GO FRANCIS" Peter5 -
I don't ever come in contact with CA. I guess I'm lucky. My shop hands out (for free)
Cigar & Spirits and also Cigar Press and I hardly ever read those as much as I intend to.
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Gurkhas are always worth MSRP
* I have a new address as of 3/24/18 *3 -
Just $30? That doesn't exactly put you in the crack-fiend category. It is funny, though, I now stare my way through the pages of a cigar catalog the way 15yr old me looked at Playboy.
WARNING: The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme. Proceed at your own risk.
"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain4 -
I gottaget the issue of cigar and spirit with Voltaire's interviewI love my pack and a good community (cigars/Vape)
"I'm at the point in my life where if it doesn't taste good,I'm not putting it in my mouth"0 -
Right there with you, brother. Isn't it f***ing sad that we now closely peruse the phallic-shaped objects on the pages of cigar catalogs with more scrutiny than we used to scan our wives' Victoria's Secrets catalog?Amos_Umwhat said:I now stare my way through the pages of a cigar catalog the way 15yr old me looked at Playboy.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to the Bums thread to refresh my manhood.7 -
Funniest post I've read in a long, long time. LOLraisindot said:Okay, I admit I started a subscription to CA but only because I was offered a free subscription through one of those ubiquitous "free magazine offer for a year and then we'll automatically renew at it crazy expensive because you'll forget all about it next year and you'll have no idea how to stop it because you threw the subscription email away" things after I bought something online somewhere.
Anyhoo.
I got my first mag last week, and all I can say, Damn You, CA! Not only are your crack-addict articles extolling the virtues of $200,000 cars, $100,000 watches and the Trump Golf course messing around my loony liberal hatred of things catering to the decadent habits of the 1% club, but they also had an article about bourbon that for a moment made me think, in a moment of weakness, "Hmmmm, maybe $200 isn't all that bad for a bottle of Elijah Craig 23 Aged Years Single Barrel." Fortunately, an email alerted me of the need to pay my kids latest college tuition installment curtained that fantasy.
But then...the cigar reviews. They beckon, like sirens...and I got sucked into buying three of the 93-rated Laranja Reserva Toros (which, naturally, are just about sold out as singles or fivers except for one site I found), and am scouring the bid sites for the 93-rated Fuente Don Carlos Belicoso. And cackling--CACKLING in smugness because the OpusX Lost City Robusto received "only" an 88, totally justifying my contention that, next to everything Gurhkha makes, the OpusX is the most overrated expensive cigar of all time.
I mean, CA's ratings have to be right, don't they? Just because Padron is their biggest advertiser doesn't mean that the Pardon Family Reserve Robusto doesn't deserve its 92 rating, right? Right?
Still...I'm out $30 in cigar purchases this month...thanks a lot, CA. Thanks a whole damn lot.
"Long ashes my friends."
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Just got my issue, and damn if it didn't feel especially opulent. Nomos glasshaute watch for 43 k (low whistle...).
-Jay“There’ll be two dates on your tombstone and all your friends will read ’em but all that’s gonna matter is that little dash between ’em.” -Kevin Welch0 -
One of these days I might subscribe to CA...but the installments on the Rolls Royce are soooooo much!! Oh, look what time it is...Rolex indicates I must prepare for church!!
Hey, you gonna eat the rest of that corndog?3 -
As a kinda postscript to this, I tried one of the Laranja Reserva Toros after giving it a couple week's rest. Boy, I don't think I've ever been more disappointed by a "highly rated" cigar. None of the "hickory sweetness and notes of almond paste, espresso and orange citrus" was evident in mine. The draw was terrible, and it tasted like burning maples leaves to me. Bitter with no character at all. I'm going to give the other two all winter to get in shape. Serves me right to jump on a CA bandwagon.1
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The fact that you see Gurkhas being rated at all = credibility shot....1
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So true!Woodguarden said:The fact that you see Gurkhas being rated at all = credibility shot....0 -
Definitely give the Laranja another try. I love that cigar. Pairs great with a Belgium white also.raisindot said:As a kinda postscript to this, I tried one of the Laranja Reserva Toros after giving it a couple week's rest. Boy, I don't think I've ever been more disappointed by a "highly rated" cigar. None of the "hickory sweetness and notes of almond paste, espresso and orange citrus" was evident in mine. The draw was terrible, and it tasted like burning maples leaves to me. Bitter with no character at all. I'm going to give the other two all winter to get in shape. Serves me right to jump on a CA bandwagon."I drink a great deal. I sleep a little, and I smoke cigar after cigar. That is why I am in two-hundred-percent form."
-- Winston Churchill
"LET'S GO FRANCIS" Peter0
