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Ugh!

jlmartajlmarta Posts: 7,881 ✭✭✭✭✭
One of the regulars in our Saturday afternoon herfing group has the disgusting habit of slobbering all over his stogie before he lights it up. He'll stick it halfway down his throat and slurp it as he pulls it out. Then he rolls it in his fingers, licking it all over. Yucchh!

I've gently explained to him on a couple different occasions that there really isn't any benefit to be derived from this god-awful display and, unless he thinks they're really intended as adult lollipops, he ought to cease and desist. And I've told him that saliva isn't a viable solution to an unravelling wrapper and how to obtain and use pectin for that purpose. All to no avail, I'm afraid.

Anyone have any opinions on how to deal with this guy? He's not a bad sort but in this and a couple other minor respects he's a bit of a slob.

Marty

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Comments

  • madurofanmadurofan Posts: 6,219 ✭✭✭
    Yea thats pretty gross. I don't know what to say except maybe uninvite him.
  • camgfscamgfs Posts: 968
    Your are right, that it won't help his cigar at all. In fact, it may be the cause of his sticks unravelling as he smokes them. It is a mith of some sorts that you should wet/lick a cigar before lighting it. Some believe it will help the stick burn better or slower. Doesn't work and makes you look like a real newbie for sure.

    Since you have already tried to explain this to him, all I can suggest is "look the other way" and try not to notice. You know he'll only do it just before lighting up, so try to avoid the show?

    Sorry, it's the best I can come up with.

  • GoldyGoldy Posts: 1,638 ✭✭
    I dont even know what to say to someone throating a cigar.
  • xmacroxmacro Posts: 3,402
    Goldy:
    I dont even know what to say to someone throating a cigar.
    (insert Bill Clinton joke) + (insert gay/phallic obsession joke) = laugh
  • Dustin1981Dustin1981 Posts: 412
    What you do is take it away and in a stern but loving voice say NO thats BAD. Oh wait thats what I do when my daughter is trying to eat something she shouldnt.
  • jsnakejsnake Posts: 5,979 ✭✭✭✭✭
    that is just wrong in so many ways I don't know what else to say.
  • PuroFreakPuroFreak Posts: 4,131 ✭✭
    Dustin1981:
    What you do is take it away and in a stern but loving voice say NO thats BAD. Oh wait thats what I do when my daughter is trying to eat something she shouldnt.
    Just add the swat of a rolled up news paper to the nose and thats what I do when my dog gets ahold of one of my son's toys! lol
  • shamrockedshamrocked Posts: 285
    yea i don't think i want to go outside and have a cigar anymore - you just ruined it for me :)
  • KriegKrieg Posts: 5,188 ✭✭✭
    ok, here is what you do...next time you get together with him, bring him a cigar to smoke. Just lace it up with a nice heavy dose of was-obi. He will either throat the cigar and then pass out from the pain of his sinuses and throat exploding with the searing heat from the was-obi and get the point, or he will get pissed and probably leave after he recovers... I see it as win, win situation. lol

    "Long ashes my friends."

  • mobyallanmobyallan Posts: 69
    That is one of the nastiest things I have ever heard! Does he give any explanation as to why? Sorry I can't be of more help but either cracking fun at him or un-inviting him seems the only option.


  • mobyallanmobyallan Posts: 69
    xmacro:
    Goldy:
    I dont even know what to say to someone throating a cigar.
    (insert Bill Clinton joke) + (insert gay/phallic obsession joke) = laugh



    Macro - you just made the bottom of my signature. Goldy makes it as an assist. Funny stuff.


  • Sandman1amSandman1am Posts: 2,567
    I know someone who does this and I explained the same thing to him, he looks like a noob, or that it is just plan not cool to watch. When he insisted to continue doing it I told him I wouldn't let him have any of my cigars or smoke with him again. He would also bite the end and it would get all sogy and nasty when he smoked. He is a bit older than me 30 years or so. Maybe he is set in his ways sooooo I thought I would try to explain to him the real reason other than it's gross. The biting making it bitter, tabacco in the mouth, it could cause the wrapper to come apart, etc. I guess we will find out the next time if he decides to smoke with me. He doesn't really have anyone else that I know of that he can smoke with.
  • YankeeManYankeeMan Posts: 2,654 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I think I saw someone do that in a movie once, I didn't like it then either!
  • GoldyGoldy Posts: 1,638 ✭✭
    mobyallan:
    xmacro:
    Goldy:
    I dont even know what to say to someone throating a cigar.
    (insert Bill Clinton joke) + (insert gay/phallic obsession joke) = laugh



    Macro - you just made the bottom of my signature. Goldy makes it as an assist. Funny stuff.




    Awesome, you made my day!
  • GoldyGoldy Posts: 1,638 ✭✭
    I have a friend that doesn't lick the stick or anything but somehow he saturates the cigar with spit so by the time he is 75% done the cigar is put out by spit. Its really gross.
  • KriegKrieg Posts: 5,188 ✭✭✭
    Goldy:
    I have a friend that doesn't lick the stick or anything but somehow he saturates the cigar with spit so by the time he is 75% done the cigar is put out by spit. Its really gross.
    I'm sure glad none of my cigar buddies do this kinda crap, I probably wouldn't be able to smoke with them if they did.

    "Long ashes my friends."

  • JZJZ Posts: 827
    jlmarta:
    One of the regulars in our Saturday afternoon herfing group has the disgusting habit of slobbering all over his stogie before he lights it up. He'll stick it halfway down his throat and slurp it as he pulls it out. Then he rolls it in his fingers, licking it all over. Yucchh!

    I've gently explained to him on a couple different occasions that there really isn't any benefit to be derived from this god-awful display and, unless he thinks they're really intended as adult lollipops, he ought to cease and desist. And I've told him that saliva isn't a viable solution to an unravelling wrapper and how to obtain and use pectin for that purpose. All to no avail, I'm afraid.

    Anyone have any opinions on how to deal with this guy? He's not a bad sort but in this and a couple other minor respects he's a bit of a slob.

    Marty

    If it were a good looking woman I'd say carry on! But since its a guy, boot his ass! LOL
  • mobyallanmobyallan Posts: 69
    Goldy:
    mobyallan:
    xmacro:
    Goldy:
    I dont even know what to say to someone throating a cigar.
    (insert Bill Clinton joke) + (insert gay/phallic obsession joke) = laugh



    Macro - you just made the bottom of my signature. Goldy makes it as an assist. Funny stuff.




    Awesome, you made my day!


    =)

  • nsezellnsezell Posts: 294
    Sounds wierd dude...That's a mental picture I'm gonna have trouble getting rid of. I don't like to use pectin though. If you get any on the part of the stick that you put your mouth on it adds a nasty sour taste that's worse than a raw lemon.
  • ironhorseironhorse Posts: 469
    If I am going to punch the cigar, I will give it ONE lick before I do so because I have had the cap split or break on a few cigars and I've found the slightly moist cap accepts the punch blade better. But that is only when I am going to punch it. Probably need a sharper one, but this method works good enough for me. I would tell the guy to find you one other serious cigar smoker who thinks this is a good idea and provides a smoking benefit and then you will allow him to smoke it this way. Till then he has to leave the cigar unmolested.
  • nightmaremike31nightmaremike31 Posts: 718 ✭✭✭
    Jesus christ... I've only seen that a few times on "accident" while surfing the nets while I was drunk... To witness that in person on a regular occasion...

    Damn marty, I don't know how you can handle that without dry heaving violently, that's hilarious and absolutely disgusting at the same time.

    Did you ask him who the hell told him that it was a good idea to gargle your stick before you smoke it?? Cus I bet they are laughing their **** off now!!
  • jlmartajlmarta Posts: 7,881 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Yeah, I seem to recall him telling me his father used to do it that way. I guess if I had grown up being told something like that, I might believe it just as he does. It's still disgusting.

    Marty

  • TatuajeVITatuajeVI Posts: 2,378
    Wow man. That's really, really wrong mental picture. The replies in this thread are hilarious.
  • Garen BGaren B Posts: 977
    Next time you see him, give him a stogie that has ipecac about midway up the cigar, that way if he does it, he gets the fun of ipecac. It's sorta like Pavlov's dog except the bell is violent drying heaving.

    Or you could just start cracking jokes about it until he stops.
  • LasabarLasabar Posts: 4,472 ✭✭✭
    A mysterious book written by a man named "Min Ron Nee" is "SUPPOSED" to be the end all be all book about Cuban cigars. In this book the author explains that he is accustomed to doing this (wetting the cigar before smoking). He exlaims that he has done this to some of the world's finest cubans!!!

    Crazy!!!!
  • Hawk55Hawk55 Posts: 846
    throatin a cigar....nuf said.
  • nightmaremike31nightmaremike31 Posts: 718 ✭✭✭
    Lasabar:
    A mysterious book written by a man named "Min Ron Nee" is "SUPPOSED" to be the end all be all book about Cuban cigars. In this book the author explains that he is accustomed to doing this (wetting the cigar before smoking). He exlaims that he has done this to some of the world's finest cubans!!!

    Crazy!!!!
    I wanted that book... but not if it's going to teach me to be gayer than a unicorn **** a rainbow...
  • zoom6zoomzoom6zoom Posts: 1,214
    Anyone have any opinions on how to deal with this guy?
    Have everyone start calling him Monica.

    Maybe his daddy did it, but with better moisture control in today's cigars it shouldn't be neccessary.
  • madurofanmadurofan Posts: 6,219 ✭✭✭
    nightmaremike31:
    but not if it's going to teach me to be gayer than a unicorn **** a rainbow...
    LMAO you have been hanging out with Lassie too much.
  • madurofanmadurofan Posts: 6,219 ✭✭✭
    ironhorse:
    If I am going to punch the cigar, I will give it ONE lick before I do so because I have had the cap split or break on a few cigars and I've found the slightly moist cap accepts the punch blade better.
    I actually wet the cap a bit before I cut it. JUST THE CAP though. It does help with splitting and cracking.
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