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This is when working away from home sucks.

GoldyGoldy Posts: 1,638 ✭✭
I'm a country away from home and just got a ohone call from my wife who just told me that her very good friend just killed herself. I feel totally helpless.

Has anyone dealt with recovering from this type of tragedy? I could use some tips.

Comments

  • jsnakejsnake Posts: 5,979 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I have been away from home too much in the last few years. What your feeling now is horrible. Not being there for your family in a time of need makes you feel worthless and helpless. I know from experience.

    I don't know what to say to make anything easier. You need to give your wife as much of your time as you can until you get home. Talk to her on the telephone or over the internet and make sure she knows you are doing the best you can to be there for her given your circumstances of being gone. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers bro!
  • kingjk729kingjk729 Posts: 2,579 ✭✭✭
    Sorry to hear about that Goldy ...... i know it sucks when you cant be there ...... Its quite possibly the worst feeling in the world
  • PuroFreakPuroFreak Posts: 4,131 ✭✭
    Goldy:
    I'm a country away from home and just got a ohone call from my wife who just told me that her very good friend just killed herself. I feel totally helpless.

    Has anyone dealt with recovering from this type of tragedy? I could use some tips.
    I've actually been through this twice in my family. My dad's little brother killed himself in the Spring of 97, and then my dad's dad killed himself in Nov. of 04. It is the hardest thing any family can possibly go through. It isn't like losing someone to a disease... I know for me personally I felt so much anger, especially towards my grandfather, for putting everyone through that after already having gone through it a few years earlier. It's a mix of anger, sadness, confusion, and total disbelief. I am truely sorry for your wife and the family of the woman. It is something I would never wish anyone to go through... In my line of work we deal with deatch and tragedy regularly, but the one thing that gets to me the most is suicide.
  • zoom6zoomzoom6zoom Posts: 1,214
    Always hard to deal with, and hard to understand why someone would choose a permanent solution to what's probably a temporary situation.
  • GoldyGoldy Posts: 1,638 ✭✭
    Thanks guys. I forgot to mention that she was also my wife's cousin which will just make this even harder. I am in a total state of shock right now. She was the coolest person on my wife's side of the fam and was super fun to be around.
  • nightmaremike31nightmaremike31 Posts: 718 ✭✭✭
    Goldy:
    Thanks guys. I forgot to mention that she was also my wife's cousin which will just make this even harder. I am in a total state of shock right now. She was the coolest person on my wife's side of the fam and was super fun to be around.
    Damn goldy, that's one of the things in my life that I wish others didn't have to know. I've seen death way too many times. Depression is an evil beast that affects us all and some worse than others. The only thing that can tame it is love, compassion, and as much happiness as you can squeeze out of this big sour world. You have my well wishes for you and your family.
  • LasabarLasabar Posts: 4,472 ✭✭✭
    I have no tips to give and my words of condolences cannot express how much I feel your pain, but the one thing you can do is to be the most available you can... Show an effort to be there and your wife will understand... I am truly sorry.......
  • KriegKrieg Posts: 5,188 ✭✭✭
    I'm sorry to hear this Goldy, I know how you feel (kinda). A buddy of mine that I used to work with couple of years ago just killed himself last week. It's quite a shock to the system. It's a flood of emotions. The only thing that I can say is just be there as much as you can for your wife (Which I'm sure you are).

    "Long ashes my friends."

  • undulacundulac Posts: 1,129
    Prayers from Ohio.
  • lilwing88lilwing88 Posts: 2,812 ✭✭✭
    My condolences and prayers to you and your family.
    Guns don't kill people, Daddies with pretty daughters do…..
  • LukoLuko Posts: 2,003 ✭✭
    My condolences too...my cousin and I were best friends growing up and then in our teens/20s we grew apart and hadn't been in contact in years...then he committed suicide about two years ago. So on top grieving, I had the guilt of being a bad cousin/friend to him.
  • cabinetmakercabinetmaker Posts: 2,560 ✭✭
    Sadly, I've had lots of friends that have killed themselves, but never a relative. My condolences to you and your wife and family. I don't know about you, but I've always found solice in prayer for the lost, and the the family of the lost. It helps me deal with the anger from the totally selfish act of suicide - which is really committed against the family...
  • Sandman1amSandman1am Posts: 2,567
    My thoughts are with you and your family. When I have to deal with death (which is quite often) I try to stay busy to keep my mind off from it while at work. I also try to talk it out with whomever will listen and this helps me with staying sane and to cope with it.
  • fla-gypsyfla-gypsy Posts: 3,023 ✭✭
    My condolences to your wife and family.
  • Send her some flowers from where ever you are to let her know you were thinking about her and made the effort. Also tell her to call anytime she needs but becareful about calling her to much and when you do ask her hows shes doing and dont bring up the topic directly unless she does. when you do talk to her talk about happy things like favorite tv shows you enjoy together or hobbies you have incommon. My prayers go out to you.
  • Hawk55Hawk55 Posts: 846
    Hey Goldie, hang in there. My condolences are with you and your family. Just do the very best you can.
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