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Joke - New Element

Smoke=FireSmoke=Fire Posts: 692 ✭✭
Oxford university researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol-GV), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less that a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical mass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol-Ad), an element that radiates as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.

Comments

  • HaysHays Costa del Sol, SpainPosts: 2,338 ✭✭✭
    I concur
    ¨The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears, or the sea¨ - Isak Dinesen

    ¨Only two people walk around in this world beardless - boys and women - and I am neither one.¨
  • urbinourbino Posts: 4,517
    Somewhere in France, Marie Curie is rolling over in her grave.
  • j0z3rj0z3r Posts: 9,403
    urbino:
    Somewhere in France, Marie Curie is rolling over in her grave.
    ...and glowing.
  • urbinourbino Posts: 4,517
    lol
  • stephen_hannibalstephen_hannibal Posts: 4,317
    HAHAHA....

  • alienmisprintalienmisprint Posts: 3,961
    j0z3r:
    urbino:
    Somewhere in France, Marie Curie is rolling over in her grave.
    ...and glowing.
    lmao
  • FourtotheflushFourtotheflush Posts: 2,555
    alienmisprint:
    j0z3r:
    urbino:
    Somewhere in France, Marie Curie is rolling over in her grave.
    ...and glowing.
    lmao
    Ouch, I need a warning before that one!
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