My Worst Bar Experiance to Date (other than being drunk)

phobicsquirrel

This evening after work a buddy and I made our way over to this "sort of" hick bar that he's been talking about for some time now. Well we were all set for some pool when I brought out a gurkha beauty and started to light it. Just then our drinks came and I was asked to put my cigar out. Not to get into it too much (as I'm sure you all feel the same way) I told the guy that I had just lit it and if he wanted me to put it out then he owed me 23 bucks since I would basically be wasting the cigar. He said that it is bar policy, I asked him, where are the signs, and to show me a law! Well after he stopped jaw jacking, a woman came up to us and told the guy to back off and that she liked the smell and it was much better than the cigs! Well thankfully the guy backed off and I got to enjoy my cigar! Well I had ordered my favorite drink, an AMF and the bar-keep had made it wrong. I made my way up to the bar and told him that I would like him to re-make it. He was firm on how he made it was right, but when I told him how to make it, he looked at me like I was full of it. I asked him for another drink in it's place and he said that since I already drank some of it, I would have to pay for it. This really wasn't cool, in fact it took a lot not to pop him! Luckily a customer pitched in and the bartender caved. Well this time I ordered a margarita, thinking how can you screw this up?! Well after about 15 minutes it arrived and once again the drink was made wrong. I again went up to the bar and told the bartender that this was just unacceptable. So after getting the eye from hell he said, "well we just don't make mixed drinks around here". Now I would think if your going to charge someone for a drink, don't you think you should know how to make it? I mean that just seems logical. Well without arguing I just got a black Butte Porter, well 2 since they were basically the cost of the mixed drinks. So not only was my time hanging out with my friend a fiasco, I had ran back and forth to the bar so much arguing with the bartender that my cigar had just lost it's appeal. I mean I really wanted to just relax, smoke, drink, and shoot pool. After my 2nd beer we took off. It made me think about all the bars I've been too, and how this place was by far the worst. I mean even red robin can make a decent margarita and give you good service, though they don't let you smoke cigars. I swear I cannot for the life of me find a good bar who will not bust my balls over cigars. Anyway hope you enjoyed reading about my adventure :-(

dutyje

That sucks. You should have left the bar and gone somewhere else. It always ruins the experience once that tension is in the air. I always ask the staff before I light up. I know most places don't like the patrons to smoke cigars. By making an assumption about the policy and then lighting up, you're traking the risk that you'll be asked to put it out or to leave.

Not familiar with the AMF, but I have about a half dozen different recipes for margaritas that I will make, and they are quite different from each other. Chain bartenders are forced into making basic margaritas either from a pre-mix or from a combo of Rose's lime and Sour Mix (which is actually quite tasty). They'll naturally use the well liquors unless special requests are made, or they have a highlighted drink on the menu.

IMO, it's the responsibility of the patron to be clear in what they are requesting. If you ask for something, you accept the way it is made at that establishment, or you describe exactly what you want. Every place has an easy way of pricing a custom drink out for a patron, and it doesn't normally cost anything extra. Another good example is the Mai Tai. I seriously have over 50 variations of a Mai Tai that I will make. Although they are actually 4-6 variations (based on the liquors used) of 16 unique and very diverse base recipes.

Also, a bit of advice... if you've had a confrontation with the staff, it's usually best to stick to bottled drinks from that point on, and not order any food. You have no idea what you'll get in any kind of mixed drink after that, and the food, well......

rusirius

dutyje:

You have no idea what you'll get in any kind of mixed drink after that, and the food, well......

Mayonnaise...

Rob1110

That sucks, dude. The Beauty is NOT a cheap cigar either. I would have been totally pissed. Hopefully you have another one of those cigars resting for a time when you can actually sit back and enjoy it. This is another good reason for me to stick to straight up cognac or scotch when I go to a bar. Tough to screw up ice and pour. Even too much ice is an easy fix.

madurofan

I have to agree with duty on this one squirrel. The bar has the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason and assuming you can smoke a cigar in there is always a risk. Also duty is right about different variations of drinks. Also ordering specialty drinks like an AMF(idk?) or a margarita is a big no-no in a dive bar, IMO. In a dive I always stick to bottle beer or bourbon.

I've only been in one argument with a bartender and it was over skunked beer. Yuengling is one of my favorite beers but it skunks very easily and I had a bar keep give me one that was horrendously skunked and he tried to argue with me over it for a few minutes until someone else walked up with one and said his was skunked to the guy got all pissy walked off and sent another bartender over to give us another beer.

vankleekkw

My only bad experience was at a club in Memphis ordering a Diver Bucket. Usually, 1 is enough to split between 2 people and have a nice drink that lasts forever. Last time in there, we were done drinking and there was ice all the way to the top. I questioned the fact, and they told me that every bartender was different. I informed them that they should make ALL bartenders make thier signature drink the same to not make their regular customers upset.

Oh well, we made it out without my dad NOT getting into a fight with the bartender and I will NEVER go there again.

Scrambler

AMF = Adios Mother F***er. It's the same drink as a Long Island Iced Tea, but with blue curacao instead of the triple sec, and 7up instead of coke. Same effect as a Long Island, but its blue and therefore at least 2x as cool among the club set. I would expect that any dive bar could make one.

Margaritas on the other hand, you never know what you're gonna get. I had a bartended at an event tell me they "don't make margaritas" like it was policy. So I ordered a tequilla sour with a splash of triple sec and some lime juice. Then said "Congrats, you just made a margarita".

vankleekkw, I agree. Consistency between bartenders is important if a place wants to keep customers, especially on the signature drink.

phobicsquirrel

Scrambler:

AMF = Adios Mother F***er. It's the same drink as a Long Island Iced Tea, but with blue curacao instead of the triple sec, and 7up instead of coke. Same effect as a Long Island, but its blue and therefore at least 2x as cool among the club set. I would expect that any dive bar could make one.

Margaritas on the other hand, you never know what you're gonna get. I had a bartended at an event tell me they "don't make margaritas" like it was policy. So I ordered a tequilla sour with a splash of triple sec and some lime juice. Then said "Congrats, you just made a margarita".

vankleekkw, I agree. Consistency between bartenders is important if a place wants to keep customers, especially on the signature drink.

Yeah, I've been fond of AMF's for some time, especially when I make them at home as I always put way too much booze in it. Though I've had people mess them up before but most of the time they remake it as I tell them what's in it. or they just say they don't know how to make it. But I do know you have to have a bartenders cert. (at least in oregon) so there is a set standard. So I do expect them to know how to make drinks. Though of course all people do things a little different. Either way a little friendly-ness goes a long way. I probably wouldn't have had such a bad experience if it wasn't for the attitude. Though I was already upset over the cigar issue, and honestly there really shouldn't be the diversity. I mean cig. smoke makes me get really bad headaches, but oh no if I say something in a bar no ones gives a flying crap, but a cigar, oh my such a big deal, that is pretty weak.

dutyje

Thanks for the definiion there, Scramber.... Man... Long Island Iced Tea is pretty standard and hard to screw up. Sub in some Blue Curacao, big deal. I will say that even though you have certified bartenders at an establishment, the restaurant/bar itself will impose particular ways of making drinks. Normally this is done to control costs and/or present a consistent drink to a repeat customer. Obviously, in Lassy's case, that was a total failure and normally signifies poor management of the bartending staff. But when you're training a new bartender at a bar, the general rule is that they need to learn the drink from scratch the way it's done at that establishment, and you can throw your damn certification out the window. We won't be mixing sours with lemon juice and sugar, and forget about a proper mojito. It'll take too long and our customers won't like the drink because it won't match their expectations.

The sour mix margarita is so prevalent that if you were to actually mix a proper margarita, most customers would hand it back to you and tell you to start over.

kuzi16

if i had not ordered a drink and i was told to put out a cigar that was the pricy id just walk out with the word "your loss"

but thats just me.

j0z3r

kuzi16:

if i had not ordered a drink and i was told to put out a cigar that was the pricy id just walk out with the word "your loss"

but thats just me.

That sounds like what I'd do. I don't know, something about the scenario seems too trivial for me to even want to waste my time arguing over it.

dutyje

and if I had ordered the drink, I'd pound it, settle up quick, and get out

I also don't normally smoke super-pricey sticks away from home. And I never smoke an ultra-premium in the company of friends unless I've got enough to share with those who would be interested. I try to find the right moment to relax, usually in peace and quiet, and enjoy the experience of a high end cigar. A bar just doesn't accomplish that for me.

phobicsquirrel

j0z3r:

kuzi16:

if i had not ordered a drink and i was told to put out a cigar that was the pricy id just walk out with the word "your loss"

but thats just me.

That sounds like what I'd do. I don't know, something about the scenario seems too trivial for me to even want to waste my time arguing over it.

yeah and most days I'd agree but it wouldn't be worth the gas to drive out there then just leave. we both wanted some pool time. But I would agree normally..

rusirius

I believe the best response would have been to look directly at the bartender and shout out as loudly as possible, "Look junior! If brains were gasoline you wouldn't have enough to power a piss ants' motor scooter half way around a cheerio!"

Then RUN like a mother...

Bad Andy

you could just carry in your katana sworn

rusirius

Bad Andy:

you could just carry in your katana sworn

Yeah, but I find when I wear my shinobi shozoku out to the bars I tend to get funny looks...

phobicsquirrel

rusirius:

I believe the best response would have been to look directly at the bartender and shout out as loudly as possible, "Look junior! If brains were gasoline you wouldn't have enough to power a piss ants' motor scooter half way around a cheerio!"

Then RUN like a mother...

lol, yeah, I'm just not that creative...

Lasabar

rusirius:

I believe the best response would have been to look directly at the bartender and shout out as loudly as possible, "Look junior! If brains were gasoline you wouldn't have enough to power a piss ants' motor scooter half way around a cheerio!"

Then RUN like a mother...

Or do the opposite...

Look the bartender straight in the eye and then proceed to put out the cigar on your nipple without flinching... then smoothly lighting up another one and then biting the glass the crappy drink came in and eating some glass...

Then ask him to repeat himself cuz your ears have an ACE-Hole filter...

Yeah... that'd be awesome.... totally

j0z3r

Lasabar:

rusirius:

I believe the best response would have been to look directly at the bartender and shout out as loudly as possible, "Look junior! If brains were gasoline you wouldn't have enough to power a piss ants' motor scooter half way around a cheerio!"

Then RUN like a mother...

Or do the opposite...

Look the bartender straight in the eye and then proceed to put out the cigar on your nipple without flinching... then smoothly lighting up another one and then biting the glass the crappy drink came in and eating some glass...

Then ask him to repeat himself cuz your ears have an ACE-Hole filter...

Yeah... that'd be awesome.... totally

So do you go to the hospital after you finish the cigar, or wait until the next day cuz "pain don't mean **** to me!"?

Lasabar

j0z3r:

Lasabar:

rusirius:

I believe the best response would have been to look directly at the bartender and shout out as loudly as possible, "Look junior! If brains were gasoline you wouldn't have enough to power a piss ants' motor scooter half way around a cheerio!"

Then RUN like a mother...

Or do the opposite...

Look the bartender straight in the eye and then proceed to put out the cigar on your nipple without flinching... then smoothly lighting up another one and then biting the glass the crappy drink came in and eating some glass...

Then ask him to repeat himself cuz your ears have an ACE-Hole filter...

Yeah... that'd be awesome.... totally

So do you go to the hospital after you finish the cigar, or wait until the next day cuz "pain don't mean **** to me!"?

Eh.... whatever way you wanna do it... doesn't really matter as long as it happens as the way I describe it!

These Filthy Hands

Worst experience ever... I went out one night with my friend and current girlfriend who was my bestfriend at the time. He had been talking about this strip club that had opened up by his house. This place was a thirty second walk from where he lived. So, we all decided to meet up at his place after we got off of work and go out and have a good time. We arrived at his place and proceed to walk to the *** hole of the universe. We get in there and there was no stage, no dancers, and loud head splitting techno playing. All that there was was a pole on a platform. At this point, I'm already in a bad mood. We go to the bar and order a beer a person, sit down and wonder where the dancers are. So, we're looking around and notice a short very stout woman wearing lingerie (I'm saying stout to be nice, we're talking a soild 250 lbs). It was at that point we decided to finish our beers as fast as we could and leave. We ended up going to a respectiable strip club and finished off a great night. Problem solved.