Home› General Discussion

Cigar Horror Stories

GentlemanGentleman Posts: 152 ✭
in General Discussion
I got two for you:

So my sister came in town with her boyfriend and we decided to sit by the campfire that night. He's a cigar smoker and has been smoking longer than me so I offer him a sacred MOW Ruination, while I went with a Cohiba. He was only about half an inch into the smoke and puts on the craziest face in disgust. I was like "Haha too strong for y-" and pause as I watch him throw an entire Ruination into the fire pit". No longer does he get offered my favorites.

Second story: I got my hands on 2 more Ruinations and some Special Edition Man O Wars so my smoking buddy and I decided we'd go for our special forces badge, play some poker, and hang out. Now when we play poker instead of winning money, loser has to drink cause we're a bunch of college kids and stuff happens. I get through the special edition, the virtue, and the ruination just fine. Last thing I remember from that night is lighting up the final MOW Original before setting sails on the high seas with Captain Morgan as part of his loyal crew. I wake up in the morning to find a half smoked original sitting on the table. I made it into the home stretch and failed harder than ever before.
«1

Comments

  • docedwardsdocedwards Posts: 319 ✭
    This story doesn't rate "horror" for me but it was amusing. My wife's brother-in-law came for a visit. He is an OK guy but he's an "expert" and always wants to tell you how you should do everything. He claims to smoke premium cigars occasionally. I offered him a CAO Black and he proceeded to lick it from end to end like a lollipop. I'm only surprised that he didn't lick it after he lit it.
  • interpiminterpim Posts: 146
    LOL... licking a cigar funny... Mine is when I offered my stepfather a cigar, and as we are walking outside with our sticks I hand him a cutter, and he says he doesn't need it... he bit off the end. Then, he lights it with the .79c bic he had then takes about 6 puffs and puts it out. 30 minute later he comes out and relights it with the bic. He relighted and put out that same cigar for 3 days! Next time i'll save the Rocky Patel, and hand him a swisher.
  • KriegKrieg Posts: 5,188 ✭✭✭
    I would have been livid if I gave someone a Ruination and they just threw it into a fire pit, I would have ripped that dude a new ***

    "Long ashes my friends."

  • kuzi16kuzi16 Posts: 14,633 ✭✭✭✭
    Krieg:
    I would have been livid if I gave someone a Ruination and they just threw it into a fire pit, I would have ripped that dude a new ***
    i woulda made him pay me for it.

    i have no problem giving a good cigar to a friend that is into cigars

    ... as long as he appreciates it.

    as soon as there is disrespect, there is a problem.


    my father-in-law and i were both smoking Camacho Havanas that were out of my humidor. it was a bit strong for him. but he ASKED if it was ok if he put it down. i didnt feel too bad then because i could tell that he was feeling bad about it and respected the hard earned money i put into buying that cigar (even though its an inexpensive camacho).
    Kuzi's Forum Links Page
  • VulchorVulchor Posts: 4,848 ✭✭✭✭
    docedwards:
    This story doesn't rate "horror" for me but it was amusing. My wife's brother-in-law came for a visit. He is an OK guy but he's an "expert" and always wants to tell you how you should do everything. He claims to smoke premium cigars occasionally. I offered him a CAO Black and he proceeded to lick it from end to end like a lollipop. I'm only surprised that he didn't lick it after he lit it.
    Brother in law did the same damn thing with a stick first time we smoked----I was freaking mortified..............Then he unzipped my pants and....LOL---sorry, thought I was in a gay penthouse story for a minute.............But he did do the licking thing, and I almost barfed.
  • VulchorVulchor Posts: 4,848 ✭✭✭✭
    Also, i understand totally about the Runiation......however, ya gotta take the stance of once you gift something it is gone and you no longer have any say over it. If you dont take a stance like that you end up thinking of ways to hit you little sister over the head with a mallet when you give her your car you loved for some many years and she turns it into a chicky piece of $hit.
  • KriegKrieg Posts: 5,188 ✭✭✭
    I do not understand the licking thing, What the hell. I would probably puke all over someone's shoes if they did that in front of me.

    "Long ashes my friends."

  • cooch36cooch36 Posts: 714 ✭✭
    I've seen my plumber and assistant do the licking thing. People talk smack about what cigar guys they are then prove that they are wanna bees. after they were done my gifted cigars needed a smoke. I have them a rash of **** for the abuse!
  • wwhwangwwhwang Posts: 2,878 ✭✭✭
    Gentleman:
    So my sister came in town with her boyfriend and we decided to sit by the campfire that night. He's a cigar smoker and has been smoking longer than me so I offer him a sacred MOW Ruination, while I went with a Cohiba. He was only about half an inch into the smoke and puts on the craziest face in disgust. I was like "Haha too strong for y-" and pause as I watch him throw an entire Ruination into the fire pit". No longer does he get offered my favorites.
    This is where you give him nothing but White Owls or Swishers from now on. I'm usually the type that believes that when you give something as a gift, it's not longer yours, but really? Throw a $10+ that I paid for into a fire pit? Even when I was a newbie and didn't pick up any flavors, I never threw away any of my sticks or anyone else's. It's like being invited over for dinner, then tossing everything on your plate.
  • GentlemanGentleman Posts: 152 ✭
    docedwards:
    This story doesn't rate "horror" for me but it was amusing. My wife's brother-in-law came for a visit. He is an OK guy but he's an "expert" and always wants to tell you how you should do everything. He claims to smoke premium cigars occasionally. I offered him a CAO Black and he proceeded to lick it from end to end like a lollipop. I'm only surprised that he didn't lick it after he lit it.
    I offered a friend of a friend a cigar and he did the same thing. He was going to town on it until it was soaked then he lit up. It was weird..

    wwhwang:
    This is where you give him nothing but White Owls or Swishers from now on. I'm usually the type that believes that when you give something as a gift, it's not longer yours, but really? Throw a $10+ that I paid for into a fire pit? Even when I was a newbie and didn't pick up any flavors, I never threw away any of my sticks or anyone else's. It's like being invited over for dinner, then tossing everything on your plate.
    Yeah i kept bugging my sister about how he doesn't know cigars etc. Occasionally he'll try something and talk to me about. Latest one was "Hey, have you tried a Romeo Y Juliet? Cause they kinda suck".
  • Poker_SlobPoker_Slob Posts: 1,269 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I walked into the only cigar store in Greeley Colorado, to find a middle aged man minding the store. Neither he or the owner smoke cigars and the walk-in humi is only 25% full. 1/2 of his stock was boxes and boxes of Capones and Swisher Sweets. What a waste of humi space!!
  • ThinBluLine06ThinBluLine06 Posts: 283
    I have an old friend from college, one of those who always "one ups" everything you have done or expierenced...He seems to think he knows everything abount anything.... Anyway, I told him that since college, I have taken up cigar smoking. He immediately started talking like he was some cigar expert. So I offered him a smoke...He proceeded to tell me how he and his banker friends dip thier cigars in cognac...He cut the head of the torp, but then dipped the foot in cognac...When he tried to light the foot, it was soaked in cognac and didnt light...So he turned the cigar around, stuck the foot in his mouth, and lit the pointed head that he just cut and slobbered on!
  • sightunseensightunseen Posts: 2,130 ✭✭
    ThinBluLine06:
    I have an old friend from college, one of those who always "one ups" everything you have done or expierenced...He seems to think he knows everything abount anything.... Anyway, I told him that since college, I have taken up cigar smoking. He immediately started talking like he was some cigar expert. So I offered him a smoke...He proceeded to tell me how he and his banker friends dip thier cigars in cognac...He cut the head of the torp, but then dipped the foot in cognac...When he tried to light the foot, it was soaked in cognac and didnt light...So he turned the cigar around, stuck the foot in his mouth, and lit the pointed head that he just cut and slobbered on!
    I wouldn't be friends with someone that always has to try and one-up everything you do.
  • KriegKrieg Posts: 5,188 ✭✭✭
    ThinBluLine06:
    I have an old friend from college, one of those who always "one ups" everything you have done or expierenced...He seems to think he knows everything abount anything.... Anyway, I told him that since college, I have taken up cigar smoking. He immediately started talking like he was some cigar expert. So I offered him a smoke...He proceeded to tell me how he and his banker friends dip thier cigars in cognac...He cut the head of the torp, but then dipped the foot in cognac...When he tried to light the foot, it was soaked in cognac and didnt light...So he turned the cigar around, stuck the foot in his mouth, and lit the pointed head that he just cut and slobbered on!
    LOL, priceless...I hope you didn't correct him...I would just let him go through life looking like an idiot.

    "Long ashes my friends."

  • lilwing88lilwing88 Posts: 2,812 ✭✭✭
    I was at my father-in-laws a few months ago and he showed me his cigar collection. My jaw almost hit the floor..... Tons of ISOMs, Opus Xs, Anejos, Padron 26s and 64s, Diamond Crowns, Ashtons and Davidoffs. But that's not why my jaw hit the floor........ It was his humidor. He was using an analog hygro and a green foam puck thingy and his cigars were obviously dried out. I played it off as cool as possible. But anyways, I talked him into letting me take his humidor and cigars and "tweek" it for him. Luckily, I was able to salvage most of the cigars. It took a few months of blood, sweat and tears....
    Guns don't kill people, Daddies with pretty daughters do…..
  • ThewelderThewelder Posts: 682 ✭✭
    My dad used to smoke cigars and have a humidor when i was younger. The other day I asked him about the humidor and why he stopped smoking. He said that it was because the box molded on him, so he threw everything out and tried again only to have everything mold again. After that my parents divorce kicked in and he couldn't afford it anymore. He also mention that it was hard for him to keep the humidity up. I asked him where the box was at and found the analog hygro he was using, performed the trusty salt test. The damn thing was running about 20% under. No wonder he couldn't keep humidity up but it molded all to hell. Now I be the good son and just bring him some over to enjoy together. Least I could do for the old man
  • jship079jship079 Posts: 621 ✭
    When I went into my humi and trolls stole my dame 17 dollar cohiba that *** still has not showed up!
  • RedtailhawkozRedtailhawkoz Posts: 2,915 ✭
    docedwards:
    This story doesn't rate "horror" for me but it was amusing. My wife's brother-in-law came for a visit. He is an OK guy but he's an "expert" and always wants to tell you how you should do everything. He claims to smoke premium cigars occasionally. I offered him a CAO Black and he proceeded to lick it from end to end like a lollipop. I'm only surprised that he didn't lick it after he lit it.

    ROTFLMAO Doesnt that Just Frost your Balls! I hate "EXPERTS" one of my Pet Peeves If someone gets in a Pissing Match with me about everything thats mentioned It is usually my last time spent with that Individual.
  • bigbgballzbigbgballz Posts: 283 ✭
    F***ing duck bit my cigar once while i was fishing!
  • Duder2Duder2 Posts: 926
    I can relate with the cigar **** thing. I gave an acquaintance a RP Sig once and he proceeded to lick the thing up and down like a seasoned porn star. It was horrifying! Needless to say I won't be offering him any of my sticks to lick in the future.
  • KriegKrieg Posts: 5,188 ✭✭✭
    lilwing88:
    I was at my father-in-laws a few months ago and he showed me his cigar collection. My jaw almost hit the floor..... Tons of ISOMs, Opus Xs, Anejos, Padron 26s and 64s, Diamond Crowns, Ashtons and Davidoffs. But that's not why my jaw hit the floor........ It was his humidor. He was using an analog hygro and a green foam puck thingy and his cigars were obviously dried out. I played it off as cool as possible. But anyways, I talked him into letting me take his humidor and cigars and "tweek" it for him. Luckily, I was able to salvage most of the cigars. It took a few months of blood, sweat and tears....
    glad to hear it, he had a fortune in that humidor...wonder if he could tell a difference once his cigars weren't dried out anymore...

    "Long ashes my friends."

  • kuzi16kuzi16 Posts: 14,633 ✭✭✭✭
    bigbgballz:
    F***ing duck bit my cigar once while i was fishing!
    HA HA HA HA !!
    Kuzi's Forum Links Page
  • Geno5000Geno5000 Posts: 56
    Recently rescued my neglected humi, and moved over to my brother's (roomate) to see what he had in his and what shape his cigars were in. Opened his humi to drawers of LFD Double Ligeros, H. Uppman Vintage Cameroons and RP edges... And no humidifier. None. Luckily, they aren't cracked, they just need some love and some time.
  • KriegKrieg Posts: 5,188 ✭✭✭
    kuzi16:
    bigbgballz:
    F***ing duck bit my cigar once while i was fishing!
    HA HA HA HA !!
    how did I miss this post?? OMFG, LOL

    "Long ashes my friends."

  • vegassparkyvegassparky Posts: 365 ✭
    bigbgballz:
    F***ing duck bit my cigar once while i was fishing!
    i once sat down to enjoy a 2006 robusto god of fire. i had just cut it when i heard the door bell. opened the door and it was jehovah's witnesses, so i slammed the door on them. i went back to my backyard. to my horror ,my dog was chewing on it. my wife said it was Karma for slamming the door on the witnesses
  • firetruckguyfiretruckguy Posts: 2,522 ✭✭✭
    Poker Slob:
    I walked into the only cigar store in Greeley Colorado, to find a middle aged man minding the store. Neither he or the owner smoke cigars and the walk-in humi is only 25% full. 1/2 of his stock was boxes and boxes of Capones and Swisher Sweets. What a waste of humi space!!

    WHAT??? There is a cigar store here?? Holy crap!
  • TatuajeVITatuajeVI Posts: 2,378 ✭
    A close friend of mine is really into Scotch and Bourbon, so I've been attempting to get him into cigars. After having him try a few lighter cigars like the Verdadero and some from 5 Vegas, he asked me for a full-bodied cigar. I gave him an El Baton torpedo - heh, should have given him something a little lighter than that. He got halfway through the cigar and turned GREEN! He left and went straight home. He called me the next afternoon and told me he stood for an hour in his shower trying not to vomit. Poor guy! It took him several months before he'd take any more recommendations from me, lol.
    bigbgballz:
    F***ing duck bit my cigar once while i was fishing!
    ROFL
  • AdcuriumAdcurium Posts: 179 ✭✭
    Duder2:
    I can relate with the cigar **** thing. I gave an acquaintance a RP Sig once and he proceeded to lick the thing up and down like a seasoned porn star. It was horrifying! Needless to say I won't be offering him any of my sticks to lick in the future.
    I've seen this type of thing in old cartoons. WTF, right? I think this is something people did 100 years ago to prevent cheap cigars from unwrapping, or somehting like that.
  • Joeyjoe21_8Joeyjoe21_8 Posts: 2,048
    thats hella funny bro....!!! i laughed pretty hard my friend...the dog would get the gun to the head at that point lol
  • DiamondogDiamondog Posts: 4,171 ✭✭
    one of my outside sales reps smokes Colts and when he found out I smoke cigars he of course wanted one, gave him a decent stick the first time nothing spectacular but alittle better than a yard gar....well, I see him a couple days a week when I travel and he tells me he just finished the stick I gave him, he told me he would smoke a little and let it go out and then relight every couple days until it was gone and he liked to "savour" it lol, well seeing that he really believed he was "savouring" it by smoking a little here and there I didn't want to burst his bubble and hey if it makes him happy and he produces forme then what the hell, I certainly won't give him anything but a yard gar now though every once in a while lol
Sign In or Register to comment.