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Big Bad Dan...

This post can probably be considered several things, and oddly enough, perhaps contradictory things...

It could be considered a calling out... It could be considered an apology... It could be considered a reminder... It could even be considered a wake-up call...

How so many things at once? Simply because it depends on how right or wrong I am in my assumptions...

First let me apologize to you and to everyone else for being the one to do this, but frankly I think it needed to be done and I've always been one to step up and take charge of a situation when I thought something needed done... Even when that something was frankly none of my business such as this...

As I'm sure some have noticed in the past, ordinarily I would fill a post like this with various pictures to exemplify my points... Perhaps throw in a picture of Buddy Jesus (from Dogma) with a "Jesus loves you, but I think you're a ***" quote... Or at the very least something with a "Smells like Bullshit" quote... But because I personally find this matter a somewhat serious one, I've decided to leave those out... While they add humor to what can otherwise be boring, and perhaps even keep the mood a little lighter, I'd just prefer to get straight to the point and be done with it...

So with all that said, let's get right to it...

BigDan... Your ways leave a bit to be desired in my opinion... It seems either you're simply putting up a facade to impress and it's simply having the opposite effect, or you're just not thinking clearly, or perhaps you truely are who you project to be, and for that, if it is indeed accurate, I'm sorry...

You see, let me explain...

You came on this forum asking for handouts because you wanted to get started in cigar smoking, but couldn't afford to buy any... Well, correction... You had one crappy 50ct humi and 5 cigars, but couldn't afford anything else... Or wait, was it a 20ct? Your first post (just starting out!!!) said 50, then like a day later you said 20 in the Lighting Cigars 101 thread...

Now the guys on this forum are all extremely generous as evident by the numerous contests that are run and such... So it was no surprise that you had several people jump at your plea and offered to send you plenty of cigars to get you started down the right path...

A couple days later though, you post up that you went to a local shop (which as it turns out later happens to be a shop most of us would LOVE to be able to go to) and bought more cigars...

I liken this to the homeless guy asking for money on the street corner and at the end of the day goes around the corner and jumps in his Tahoe and drives off...

See, here's the thing Dan... I recently had a member ask me for recommendations of what he should buy for an unrelated hobby... Because I'm a nice person and often find myself doing things to brighten peoples days, I decided to instead send him a nice starter package that included everything he needed to get started... I wasn't expecting a single thing in return... I didn't do it because I wanted him to send me something in return, I did it because I knew he would appreciate it... In fact he DID send me something back in return.. A hell of a nice package of cigars... That brightened my day... Often times what goes around comes around, and as long as you don't expect it, it makes it all the better...

Now here's the thing... Not long after he received that package, I was actually sending him another and he mentioned ordering some stuff from another site for this hobby... I didn't think a thing about it...

So why am I so fixated on the same thing in your case? Because the member above didn't ASK me for anything... He didn't tell me he couldn't afford a starter kit on his own... He asked what HE should BUY... and I decided to send it to him... IF he had asked me to GIVE him something because he couldn't afford it, and a few days later talked about ordering stuff off another site, I'd frankly be a bit bothered by it...

So frankly Dan, in my opinion it seems a bit unfair to take advantage of someones generosity by asking for something because you can't afford to buy it yourself only to turn around two days later and buy it for yourself... Frankly, I and I'm guessing others on here as well, lost a bit of respect for you on seeing that... Now I know you might say that maybe the reason you bought these from your local show so quickly after asking was that they were really cheap... Many of the cigars you listed I'm sure were not cheap though.. In fact, the one cheap fake Cohiba that you said you pulled out of the "bargain bin" you specifically stated paying $7 for it, which would lead us to believe that you paid more for the others...

But let's continue...

You also attacked several local shops and talked about how they were ripping you off... Again as it turned out, at least one of these was a shop most of us would LOVE to be able to have access to... Simply put it was your own lack of knowledge that led to these accusations... Again, with me personally this struck a bit of a nerve, but I'm guessing it did with others as well...

You know what else Dan? You give off this vibe... I can't explain it... You talk about not being able to afford to buy cigars for yourself. Even after a rant about such, and seeing that the general consensus from every member on this board was that they find "txt speak" to be extremely annoying, u stl choz 2 tlk lk dis... YET, you go on in one of your posts to say that you run various clubs, shows, and entertainment events... Not only that, but you're in college for your masters degree...

I'm assuming you've watched Sesame Street before... You know the little game they do? The, "One of these things doesn't belong here" game? You can't afford cigars but you run events like that? You choose to write in "txt speak" yet you're going for your masters? Something just doesn't seem to fit Dan...

Now let's move ahead again... Less than a week after telling everyone you can't afford to buy cigars and asking for freebies, not only do you pay a visit to a local shop, but you also mention in the controlling temps thread that you ordered a 150ct glass top humi...

You also mention on the same day that your humis (plural) have overflown from all your cigars and that you're now using a tupperware container to hold the extras...

What's odd about this though is that 1 day after saying you purchased a 150ct humi and it was already on it's way, you then mention in another post that you're LOOKING for a 150ct humi that's really cheap... So is this yet ANOTHER humi to add to the collection??? Wow Dan, just how many freaking cigars are you collecting over there?!?

Then.... Then Big Bad Dan... You start talking about these extremely high end cigars you're being "given"... An Opus X... An ISOM Davidoff... If you've got friends like that Big Dan, then why the hell did you come on here asking for handouts?!?

Let me be blunt... Well, I think I already have been, but let me really wrap this up and not beat around the bushes any longer...

I think one of two situations have occured here...

A) You're completely and totally full of ***... As outlined above many of your posts contradict themselves... This leads me to question your honesty, and frankly one thing I just don't like is someone that's dishonest... Perhaps this is that "vibe" I'm getting from you... Perhaps it's my own minds way of telling me that you're dishonest... If this is the case, then I have a strong suspicion that you make up these things just to "impress" the others here on this forum... Thinking perhaps we'll respect you more or perhaps even look up to you if we hear that you've been puffing away at Opus X's or ISOMs...

If that's the case, then I'd urge you to stop... Nobody here is going to respect you if you continue to tell lies and deceive... Be honest, with yourself and with the others here and I think you'll find you get a much warmer reception... You've said yourself that you've found the wealth of information on this forum invaluable... The stick with that... Focus on that... What if ALL the posts on here were just a bunch of crap made up by all of us? What if the reviews were from people who hadn't even smoked a cigar? What if it was all deception??? Would you find it so valuable then?

Now don't get me wrong... This is a freaking internet forum... If you want to come on here and give a false facade then so be it... You want us to think you're working on a masters degree or that you have 15 humis jam packed of ridiculously expensive cigars so be it... If you want to wrt lk a 2 yr old so b it... But don't expect us to respect you for it... Don't expect us not to call you out on it...

B) The other possibility is that you're practically a con man... If you truely do have all these humi's packed to the brim with smokes and have visited all these shops and smoked all the cigars and yet made the choice to come on here and ask others to help you out and send you smokes, then that's down right despicable... In that case you could afford cigars or had lots of friends that you knew would happily hand over fists full of expensive cigars and yet you decided to come on here and take advantage of people who were obviously extremely friendly and whom you knew would happily hand over some smokes for the asking... If that is the case, then I find it disgusting and feel very sorry for those that did help...

IF there's a third option that I haven't thought of, then I'm sure we'd all love to hear it... I think at the very least those that sent you cigars would like to hear the reasoning behind all the discrepancies above...

Look Dan... I'm not here to be an ***... In fact, believe it or not, I feel really bad about posting this... Maybe I'm wrong... Maybe there's another explaination... Then I'll be the ****... Honestly I hope that's the case... If it is, then I apologize right here and now...

But you see... I don't see all bad in you... I can't believe that your motives are purely as the option B above... I see you try to contribute by posting some reviews... I see you trying to participate in conversations... That leads me to believe that there's some hope... That leads me to believe it's option A... That you're just hoping to impress us all by throwing out some bullshit stories... If so, then don't... You'll impress us a lot more by being polite, writing english, and being honest about yourself and your smokes...
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Comments

  • LasabarLasabar Posts: 4,473 ✭✭✭
    (...)
  • madurofanmadurofan Posts: 6,152
    I caught that post and it hit me the same way Greg. I just thought, why would someone who was asking for free sticks be smoking an Opus X? Either somethings off or you guys hooked him the hell up. I'm gonna throw up a thread that more or less stolen from another forum but its on etiquette.
  • phobicsquirrelphobicsquirrel Posts: 7,349
    wow, that was really well written.. I know one thing, for a group of people to send someone cigars because they wanted recommendations and didn't ask for anything they are great folks. I am glad to be in the company of you all. But like you said, why ask for handouts then say you bought a lot of something? that just doesn't sit well with me.
  • dutyjedutyje Posts: 2,263
    I don't want to say much on this, because I already wrongly called out Dias. I've had very similar reactions to Dan's posts, but I want to offer up that he may simply be in a situation (like Option A) where he is simply trying to participate in the conversation. I used to work with a guy who was right out of school and thought he knew everything, and inflated himself and his experiences in social conversations. I knew tons of kids (and was probably one myself) in college who were the same way.

    OK.. maybe I will say more about this...

    There is very likely a reasonable explanation behind all of this. For example, I make a decent living, but I operate on a limited budget (like everybody else on the planet). My wife and I have been huge Carolina Panthers fans ever since moving here. The stadium is a 20-minute drive from our house. Yet we have only been to a handful (maybe 5?) of games since we moved here. It just isn't in our budget to regularly attend games. In fact, every time we have been to a game, we were using tickets that had been given to us for free. Several years ago, we were invited to attend in a fully-catered luxury box complete with a serving staff (equate this to the ISOM Davidoff).

    My wife used to work at a pre-school/day care at a center to help recovered drug addicts build a productive, respectable life for themselves. One of the "employees" there was actually a member of the progam (Hope Haven). He worked harder than anybody. He was always there first thing in the morning, and worked long hours. He never got paid for his services, because this was volunteer work to be done as part of the program. He was also a huge Panthers fan, and always dreamed about someday going to a game.

    As a reward for his hard work, and as a thank-you for all that he had done for the center, my wife and I decided to purchase two tickets to the wild-card round playoff game being hosted in Charlotte against the Dallas Cowboys (the year the Panthers ended up going to the Super Bowl). We gave him the tickets, and he took his drug rehab sponsor to the game. I understand he had a blast.

    Over time, our financial situation has steadily improved. This year, we finally decided to purchase ourselves tickets to one game, which we will attend with some friends. I just believe (hope) that one of these days, Dan fully intends to (and will) repay the generosity of others on this board. Maybe not necessarily with a direct "thank-you" package to each of his donors, but through other participation on these boards.
  • LasabarLasabar Posts: 4,473 ✭✭✭
    I think as of right now time will tell...

    True test of character will be if we see BigDan around these boards still

    (or maybe a new screen name?)

    LilKarl: Heh guyz m jus w0ndrin if u seez n e gud deelz out der??? M n00b to dis 4-um
  • LukoLuko Posts: 2,004
    For me its a personal thing...I don't like to ask anybody for anything free, and I like to repay people...carry your own water, so to speak. I'm noticed everyone who frequents these boards seems to be like that and moreso- even generous beyond anybody's wildest expectations. It's a shame if someone took advantage of that.

    Just keep in mind if you do, you're pissing off a dude who shaves with a sword.
  • rusiriusrusirius Posts: 565 ✭✭
    LMAO... Thanks for the new signature Luko...
  • kaspera79kaspera79 Posts: 7,259 ✭✭✭
    Lasabar:
    I think as of right now time will tell...

    True test of character will be if we see BigDan around these boards still

    (or maybe a new screen name?)

    LilKarl: Heh guyz m jus w0ndrin if u seez n e gud deelz out der??? M n00b to dis 4-um
    Lassy, everyday you crack me up.. M CMG 2 WS. 2 DRK W/U.
  • LukoLuko Posts: 2,004
    Kasper, just be careful. You might want to line up a spare liver to be waiting when you get home.
  • kaspera79kaspera79 Posts: 7,259 ✭✭✭
    Luko:
    Kasper, just be careful. You might want to line up a spare liver to be waiting when you get home.
    I got that one covered, I'll trade a kidney, and an eyeball, for any semi healthy liver out there!
  • LukoLuko Posts: 2,004
    kaspera79:
    Luko:
    Kasper, just be careful. You might want to line up a spare liver to be waiting when you get home.
    I got that one covered, I'll trade a kidney, and an eyeball, for any semi healthy liver out there!

    Let's move this over to the trades thread. I'll trade you a partial lobe of my liver (think of it like the Toyota Camry of livers, lots of miles but still running great) for a great bomb. I'm talking like 50 sticks, and it wouldn't hurt for a few of them to be GoF. I mean, you are getting a new liver.
  • kaspera79:
    Luko:
    Kasper, just be careful. You might want to line up a spare liver to be waiting when you get home.
    I got that one covered, I'll trade a kidney, and an eyeball, for any semi healthy liver out there!
    I'll give you mine. It's not that healthy but I've ordered a new one from Africa.
  • LukoLuko Posts: 2,004
    These Filthy Hands:
    kaspera79:
    Luko:
    Kasper, just be careful. You might want to line up a spare liver to be waiting when you get home.
    I got that one covered, I'll trade a kidney, and an eyeball, for any semi healthy liver out there!
    I'll give you mine. It's not that healthy but I've ordered a new one from Africa.
    No offense TFH, but if your hands are filthy, I can't imagine what your liver is like.
  • LasabarLasabar Posts: 4,473 ✭✭✭
    Luko:
    These Filthy Hands:
    kaspera79:
    Luko:
    Kasper, just be careful. You might want to line up a spare liver to be waiting when you get home.
    I got that one covered, I'll trade a kidney, and an eyeball, for any semi healthy liver out there!
    I'll give you mine. It's not that healthy but I've ordered a new one from Africa.
    No offense TFH, but if your hands are filthy, I can't imagine what your liver is like.
    Plus the whole AIDS thing...
  • Lasabar:
    Luko:
    These Filthy Hands:
    kaspera79:
    Luko:
    Kasper, just be careful. You might want to line up a spare liver to be waiting when you get home.
    I got that one covered, I'll trade a kidney, and an eyeball, for any semi healthy liver out there!
    I'll give you mine. It's not that healthy but I've ordered a new one from Africa.
    No offense TFH, but if your hands are filthy, I can't imagine what your liver is like.
    Plus the whole AIDS thing...
    I hear there is a new con going around about fake organs from africa. Kind of like the money order thing. Except when you take said organ to the organ bank, they laugh at you. Then you fall over dead. (but i'm in for a good heart if anyone is offering) PTFTW!!!
  • madurofanmadurofan Posts: 6,152
    I just noticed something interesting that might actually explain all of this. Big Dan asked for free cigars. BigDan. was talking about his OpusX etc .... Two different screen names hopefully two different folks?
  • dutyjedutyje Posts: 2,263
    In the immortal words of, um, some British guy, "Not bloody likely."

    Big Dan joined 9/9 and last visited 9/13... his most recent post was on the newbie welcoming thread

    BigDan joined 9/13, and quickly made his first post to the same thread, on the same page, complaining about how his old account got screwed up.

    Also, you may have noticed that BigDan has a rather unique umm.. accent? Posting style? What would you call it? Big Dan posts up in the same style.
  • madurofanmadurofan Posts: 6,152
    Thanks for the info duty!
  • BigDan.BigDan. Posts: 211
    ahh well interestingly enough i was waiting for a response like this actually. and i know you are not trying to be rude and yes it is a somewhat of a call out. however this is also perfectly explainable. first thing first is im not getting my masters so im not sure where that came from unless i posted drunk which i do often. anyhow, i can not afford many things i dont have the money i am just starting a company and its been very slow but im extremely excited about this. and yes i do tlk lik this haha but its bcuz im too lazy to actually write an entire written response. i enjoy this forum a lot and ive learned a lot from all of you ive noticed that the people on this site have been much nicer than the people ive met on any other forum. that being said i ordered a 150 ct humidor off ebay it said it was 5 bucks , 5 BUCKS is like nothing however it never went through and idk what happened to it. anyhow this is how i afforded my last cigars from my shop... i collected a bunch of coins in a jar this was my "cigar jar" then when the jar was full i would go and cash those coins in i had about 16 dollars i went to my local shop and i got some recomendations i talked to the guy for about a hour and then i bought a few 3 dollar cigars this guy also knows me pretty well and he usually gives me 30-40% off my order which is nice. so i cant afford this extravagent cigars and i cant really get on my feet i do try and keep up with you all and its not easy at all. but i really do enjoy this as a hobby and a lifestyle i like everything about cigars. i have some friends who do have very expensive cigars and they like sharing, i had a opus x that kicked my ass but my friend insisted that i tried it however i do not have the money to go out and buy this cigar. school costs a fortune out here and so does rent and car payments and everything im working two jobs and still struggling to make ends meet. i saved up for two and a half years to get the computer im using now. anyways i hope i can clear my name because i dont want to be seen as a untrustworthy or as a sketchy person because that is not who i am. i would appreciate being respected by the members of this forum.

    -DAN
  • madurofanmadurofan Posts: 6,152
    BigDan.:
    first thing first is im not getting my masters so im not sure where that came from .... school costs a fortune out here
    I'm confused Dan.


    BigDan.:
    i would appreciate being respected by the members of this forum.
    If you want my respect use some line breaks. I'm not asking you to type in perfect english lord knows I don't but at least make it possible for us to read your post without our eyes crossing trying to read one big blob of text
  • BigDan.BigDan. Posts: 211
    im in community college im a freshman at santa monica city college and its still a lot for me. ya sorry about the crazy ginormous parapraph i forget that it doesnt do the spaces.
  • dutyjedutyje Posts: 2,263
    Hey, Dan... Listen up to the recommendations we'd made to you about affordable cigars. There are plenty of gems to be found at great prices. Also, consider saving up and buying one of your favorites in bulk. For example, I splurged on the Friday deal for La Herencia, and ended up with 20 cigars for $46, shipping included. That's $2.30 per cigar including all taxes and shipping. You can't beat that. Look at picking up a box of your favorite cigar.com house blend. I believe you say you either currently are stocking, or have smoked, them all. Pick your favorite, buy a box, take the freebie cigar.com sampler, and enjoy the free shipping. $46-50 for 27 cigars.

    Just because you aren't paying $8+ per stick doesn't mean you're smoking lousy cigars. As I mentioned in another thread, the cigar.com Cuban Label received my highest possible rating.

    We've heard a wide array of assessments of that trip you took to the B&M. First, we heard the guy at the shop took advantage of you and ripped you off. Now he apparently knows you pretty well and gives you huge discounts. Not sure what's up with that, but just keep your eyes open for deals. They are to be found everywhere. Also, pace yourself. I only smoke 2-3 cigars a week, at most. You don't need to dive in and keep a cigar in your mouth 24/7. I would love to smoke more, but in my current situation it doesn't seem like the responsible decision.
  • madurofanmadurofan Posts: 6,152
    BigDan.:
    im in community college im a freshman at santa monica city college and its still a lot for me. ya sorry about the crazy ginormous parapraph i forget that it doesnt do the spaces.
    Cool ... try to use the spacing and a little better English and we're all good ..
  • BigDan.BigDan. Posts: 211
    well the guy at the other shop ripped me off and then i bough some cigars from this new shop and the guy there said that this adwani cigar got rated a 92 and he showed me this huge poster he had up that said this was a 92 and yada yada except i couldnt find it newhere when i got home so i flipped out because i dont want to be wasting my money and im young so i feel like most people wont take me seriously. however once i learned that this was a locally rolled cigar i mellowed out a bit and lately ive been going down to this shop to talk with the guys there at least a few times a week its right by a starbucks and there is usually somebody out there enjoying a cigar so ill sit and chat and learn a thing or too.

    im actually not 21 so i cant order anything off of this site. and yes i did just make a post saying i post drunk so dont shoot me down for that.....

    im sure there are great sticks at cheap prices. and actually i thought of this great idea to do with some of my friends. because i can not get a box right off the bat for many reasons 1. being i dont have the space or the tupperware 2. i dont have 50 dollars to spend immediatly i usually buy like 6-10 dollars worth at a time and ive gotten some buy one get one free things at my local B&M.

    so what i decided to do was split a box with three people so i could get like 7 or 8 sticks for like 10 dollars and if its my favorite stick than thats great. i really like the fonseca cigars they have a wide price range though.

    anyways thanks for the advise and thanks for not bashing me
  • ScramblerScrambler Posts: 746 ✭✭
    BigDan.:
    im in community college im a freshman at santa monica city college and its still a lot for me.
    Dude, BOG fee waiver. Let the State of California pay your tuition. Then get your Stafford loans and use them to buy cigars. That's what I do. :-)

    Well, I don't get the BOG waiver anymore, since I moved to Louisiana and transferred to a private school, but scholarships and loans still pay for cigars, while I work 2 jobs to pay the bills. Or at least it seems that's how I justify purchases to myself.

    Anyway, if you're being straight with us, I know where you're coming from. It's tough paying tuition, covering living expenses, and still being able to splurge on little things to make it all tolerable. It does seem odd that if you have friends with humidors full of Opus X's that you would be here looking for suggestions and freebies, but maybe you're just excited about cigars and want to get more knowledge and experience.
  • BigDan.BigDan. Posts: 211
    well this is friend who has these expensive cigars is a older gentelman and we often do talk about cigars and such he has given me a lot of knowledge however he lives far from me and with the price of gas its a little difficult to see him. i am excited about cigars and i figured that by coming here i could not only get more advice but i could get suggestions and advice from peers. this guy also loves full flavored cigars and he smokes like 3-4 every day he is in his 80's and he is kind of loosing it.anyhow....

    i am not familiar with BOG fee waiver? i will look into this. i want to transfer to SD state after my second year here and i know i will need loans for that. and yes i am being straight with you guys. if i wasnt being straight i would have just ditched the forum and i wouldnt have even tried to explain myself.

    however that is not what i am going to do. i want to keep gaining knowledge and i want to keep sharing what ive learned and experienced with the forum.

    ya life is hard but im sure everybody here has there own problems so im not trying to justify anything im just trying to let you guys know a very little bit about my personal life and i guess my fanancial situation at the moment. if you have any questions i would be glad to answer them if you are interested i might not be willing to post them on a open board over the internet but i would gladly send you a PM.

    anyways i hope this clears up some of the confusion

    -Dan
  • kaspera79kaspera79 Posts: 7,259 ✭✭✭
    Luko:
    kaspera79:
    Luko:
    Kasper, just be careful. You might want to line up a spare liver to be waiting when you get home.
    I got that one covered, I'll trade a kidney, and an eyeball, for any semi healthy liver out there!

    Let's move this over to the trades thread. I'll trade you a partial lobe of my liver (think of it like the Toyota Camry of livers, lots of miles but still running great) for a great bomb. I'm talking like 50 sticks, and it wouldn't hurt for a few of them to be GoF. I mean, you are getting a new liver.
    Now this is just a spare liver, but it does have to be dependable. I may need it for the next forty or fifty years. Have you kept good maintenance records, it has to be broken in, but not broken..
  • kaspera79kaspera79 Posts: 7,259 ✭✭✭
    These Filthy Hands:
    kaspera79:
    Luko:
    Kasper, just be careful. You might want to line up a spare liver to be waiting when you get home.
    I got that one covered, I'll trade a kidney, and an eyeball, for any semi healthy liver out there!
    I'll give you mine. It's not that healthy but I've ordered a new one from Africa.
    I'll take it !! Pack it in ice and send it UPS, I'll PM you my address..
  • LukoLuko Posts: 2,004
    kaspera79:
    Luko:
    kaspera79:
    Luko:
    Kasper, just be careful. You might want to line up a spare liver to be waiting when you get home.
    I got that one covered, I'll trade a kidney, and an eyeball, for any semi healthy liver out there!

    Let's move this over to the trades thread. I'll trade you a partial lobe of my liver (think of it like the Toyota Camry of livers, lots of miles but still running great) for a great bomb. I'm talking like 50 sticks, and it wouldn't hurt for a few of them to be GoF. I mean, you are getting a new liver.
    Now this is just a spare liver, but it does have to be dependable. I may need it for the next forty or fifty years. Have you kept good maintenance records, it has to be broken in, but not broken..

    It only broke down on my once. Granted, I drank 30 beers and 1 jack and coke...so I prolly deserved that. But that was years ago and it's still humming along.
  • kaspera79kaspera79 Posts: 7,259 ✭✭✭
    Luko:
    kaspera79:
    Luko:
    kaspera79:
    Luko:
    Kasper, just be careful. You might want to line up a spare liver to be waiting when you get home.
    I got that one covered, I'll trade a kidney, and an eyeball, for any semi healthy liver out there!

    Let's move this over to the trades thread. I'll trade you a partial lobe of my liver (think of it like the Toyota Camry of livers, lots of miles but still running great) for a great bomb. I'm talking like 50 sticks, and it wouldn't hurt for a few of them to be GoF. I mean, you are getting a new liver.
    Now this is just a spare liver, but it does have to be dependable. I may need it for the next forty or fifty years. Have you kept good maintenance records, it has to be broken in, but not broken..

    It only broke down on my once. Granted, I drank 30 beers and 1 jack and coke...so I prolly deserved that. But that was years ago and it's still humming along.
    Okay send it over, if it doesn't work out I can fry it with some onions and eat it.
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