A man is sitting in a bar drinking one evening getting drunker and drunker. Finally , he throws up all over the front of his shirt. He is really upset because he knows his wife is going to be really pissed. The bartender tells him " Dont worry friend , I see this kinda thing happen all the time. Just put a twenty dollar bill in your shirt pocket and tell your wife the guy next to you threw up on your shirt and he felt so bad he gave you twenty dollars to have your shirt cleaned. " Really ?!? The guy says , that really will work ? Yes says the bartender , works every time !!! Now feeling better about his shirt the man continues drinking for a couple of more hours. When he gets home , sure enough , his wife is really pissed and lites into him about being a drunk etc etc . He says hold on honey , it wasn't me ! The guy next to me was really drunk and threw up all over my shirt . He even felt so bad he gave me twenty dollars to have my shirt cleaned , its in my shirt pocket. His wife reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls out the money . She says " hey there's FORTY DOLLARS here ! The man in a drunken slur says I know I know he also sh_it my pants !!!