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Dr. Seuss Tech Writing

I've run across this twice in the last week and found it put a smile on my face every time so I figured I'd post it here.

If Dr. Seuss Were a Technical Writer

Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say:

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

You can't say this?
What a shame sir!
We'll find you
Another game sir.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!


  • dutyjedutyje Posts: 2,263
    Hehe.. I've seen that before. Reminds me of something I wrote as a response when somebody had misspelled "rappel" as "rapple" on a rock climbing forum.

    A quick run-down on terminology before we begin:
    rappel (ruh-PELL): To descend a rope
    crag: a cliff
    Snapple: tasty fruit drink popular in the 90's
    rack: generic term for the bundle of hardware the climber is carrying
    to flake out one's rope is to stack it, ensuring there are no knots, and that none will be created when the rope is used
    Once one has finished a rappel, he/she pulls the rope in order to re-flake it, coil it, set up another rappel, etc.


    The Rapple

    The mountain climber grappled
    As he summited the crag.
    He grabbed his tasty Snapple
    And he looked into his bag.

    He was sad to find his apple
    Had been left far below
    How could he get his snack?
    All good mountain climbers know...

    When you need to fetch an apple
    From the bottom of the climb,
    Rigging up a rapple
    Can save you lots of time.

    You see, walking to the bottom
    Can really be a hike -
    And it's somewhat impractical
    To carry up your bike!

    So when you're set to rapple
    To your apple from the cliff,
    It's best to flake your rope out
    And make sure it's not too stiff.

    When our hero reached the ground,
    He pulled his rope and dropped his rack.
    Then reached into his knapsack
    And grabbed his fruity snack.

    And the moral of this story,
    Which you all will surely get -
    Is that you should check the spelling
    For your postings on the net!
  • sanesane Posts: 151
    That was good next time I find my self on a rock climbing forum I'll have to link to your post if someone misspells rappel.
    I guess that you probable want to reach through the computer screen and strangle me sometimes, as my spelling sucks :)
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