joke - Reasons Why Cigars Are Better Than Sex

beatnic

Reasons Why Cigars Are Better Than Sex • You can GET cigars. • You can safely have cigars while you are driving. • You can make cigars last as long as you want them to. • You can have cigars even in front of your mother. • Two people of the same sex can have cigars without being called nasty names. • The word "commitment" doesn't scare off cigars. • You can have cigars on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers. • You can ask a stranger for a cigar without getting your face slapped. • You don't get hairs in your mouth with cigars. • With cigars there's no need to fake it. • Cigars don't make you pregnant. • You can have cigars at any time of the month. • Good cigars are easy to find. • You can have as many kinds of cigars as you can handle. • When you have great cigars it doesn't keep your neighbours awake • With cigars size doesn't matter. It's ALL good!

bigharpoon

Cigars don't get mad when you come home with cigar on your breath.

Diamondog

bigharpoon:

Cigars don't get mad when you come home with cigar on your breath.

lol

Ken_Light

If only it was all true...I definitely cannot have cigars at my desk and my neighbor often gets pissed off when I have cigars, loudly or otherwise...

zoom6zoom

Hell, I'm recovering from pneumonia, I can't have either one right now.

Don't forget, it's legal to PAY for cigars.

wwhwang

You can have cigars without worrying about child support.

xmacro

Cop pulls you over with a cigar in your mouth, he might give you a high-five instead of a ticket

Lasabar

Reasons why sex is better than a cigar:
You don't want to pass a cigar around with all your buddies
Sloppy seconds on a cigar isn't very good
You can't smoke two cigars at the same time enjoyably
You can't get a cigar so drunk that it doesn't remember you smoked it or that your the father of it's cigarillos
You can't pay the B&M, smoke your cigar and then punch the B&M in the face and take your money back and take off, and the cigar is the one that gets beat up by the B&M
A Cigar can't put a finger up your Azz while you smoke it
A Cigar won't wake up early to put on makeup over it's blackeye so that when it wakes up your roomates don't suspect anything, and a cigar will NOT learn from the blackeye and change the sheets after you get up and make sure that the eggs OVER EASY aren't too firm or too runny in your breakfast or otherwise it knows it will receive another bruise (Not an eye again, but somewhere that clothes cover up)

Hayblet

Lasabar:

Reasons why sex is better than a cigar:
You don't want to pass a cigar around with all your buddies
Sloppy seconds on a cigar isn't very good
You can't smoke two cigars at the same time enjoyably
You can't get a cigar so drunk that it doesn't remember you smoked it or that your the father of it's cigarillos
You can't pay the B&M, smoke your cigar and then punch the B&M in the face and take your money back and take off, and the cigar is the one that gets beat up by the B&M
A Cigar can't put a finger up your Azz while you smoke it
A Cigar won't wake up early to put on makeup over it's blackeye so that when it wakes up your roomates don't suspect anything, and a cigar will NOT learn from the blackeye and change the sheets after you get up and make sure that the eggs OVER EASY aren't too firm or too runny in your breakfast or otherwise it knows it will receive another bruise (Not an eye again, but somewhere that clothes cover up)

Just wow, Lassy, wow.

sightunseen

Lasabar:

Reasons why sex is better than a cigar:
You don't want to pass a cigar around with all your buddies
Sloppy seconds on a cigar isn't very good
You can't smoke two cigars at the same time enjoyably
You can't get a cigar so drunk that it doesn't remember you smoked it or that your the father of it's cigarillos
You can't pay the B&M, smoke your cigar and then punch the B&M in the face and take your money back and take off, and the cigar is the one that gets beat up by the B&M
A Cigar can't put a finger up your Azz while you smoke it
A Cigar won't wake up early to put on makeup over it's blackeye so that when it wakes up your roomates don't suspect anything, and a cigar will NOT learn from the blackeye and change the sheets after you get up and make sure that the eggs OVER EASY aren't too firm or too runny in your breakfast or otherwise it knows it will receive another bruise (Not an eye again, but somewhere that clothes cover up)

/thread