Taxed to death, a poem

bigharpoon

In honor of our lovely taxes, which are due no later than tonight:

Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table,
At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.

Tax his work,
Tax his pay,
He works for
peanuts anyway!

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.

Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries
Tax his tears.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass.

Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers;
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid...

Put these words
Upon his tomb,
'Taxes drove me
to my doom...'

When he's gone,
Do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax.


Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service Charge Tax
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Sales Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Nonrecurring Charges Tax
Telephone ? ?State ? and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

...and my personal favorite: the S-Chip tax!!!

skweekz

Hahaha very nice! I lol'ed!

xmacro

If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. If it stops moving, subsidize it.

Ken_Light

xmacro:

If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. If it stops moving, subsidize it.

Consider that line stolen. Nah, just consider it taxed.

gripnrip

Ken Light:

xmacro:

If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. If it stops moving, subsidize it.

Consider that line stolen. Nah, just consider it taxed.

Same thing....

xmacro

Ken Light:

xmacro:

If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. If it stops moving, subsidize it.

Consider that line stolen. Nah, just consider it taxed.

I'd love to take credit, but it was the Gipper who said that

clearlysuspect

At some point, taxation becomes theft on the largest scale. Even with all this we're told the government doesn't have enough money and we need to borrow another $1.4T. What a scam!

Amos_Umwhat

clearlysuspect:

At some point, taxation becomes theft on the largest scale. Even with all this we're told the government doesn't have enough money and we need to borrow another $1.4T. What a scam!

did you ever read "The Biggest Con" ? Basically notes the additive nature of multiple taxation, how 99% of the cost of a six-pack of beer, say, is really the tax-mans money.