$hit my son says

Krieg

Other day I was pulling into my garage and the following conversation took place while the garage door was going up (keep in mind, he's 3):

Ayden: "Come on daddy...GOOOOOOOO"
Me: "I have to wait for the door to open Ayden"
Ayden: sigh...."GODDDD DAMMMMITTTT"

Fighting back the laugh needless to say, I had to explain to him that was not a nice thing to say and to promise not to say it anymore! He must have got that from his mother...LOL

The Sniper

LOL! Great story Krieg! Here's one for ya in the "Not just you" category....

When my youngest daughter was two, she's carrying a plate of food to her chair at the house - and of course dumps it all over the floor...

Stops...

Looks down at the mess at her feet...

Gives a deep sigh...

And says "***...." LMAO!

The wife looks at me with THAT look, and I cut her off with a quick "Uh-uh! You KNOW if she learned it from me she would have busted loose with a MFer!" LOL

Good times at Casa Sniper, I tell you... :-)

Goldy

My friend had a similar story where his kid and wife let the dog out in MN winter and the 3 year old looked up at mom and asked if he could use a bad word. She said yes and he said "Its cold as Fu**"

By far the most impressive part of all this is that all of these kids are using it in the right context and correctly.

Krieg

Goldy:

My friend had a similar story where his kid and wife let the dog out in MN winter and the 3 year old looked up at mom and asked if he could use a bad word. She said yes and he said "Its cold as Fu**"

By far the most impressive part of all this is that all of these kids are using it in the right context and correctly.

LOL!

The Sniper

Goldy:

My friend had a similar story where his kid and wife let the dog out in MN winter and the 3 year old looked up at mom and asked if he could use a bad word. She said yes and he said "Its cold as Fu**"

By far the most impressive part of all this is that all of these kids are using it in the right context and correctly.

I believe we have a new number one on this thread fellas! LMAO!

Heavy

We taught our kids to use real names for body parts instead of nicknames (all the books say it makes things easier to talk about when they're older etc etc yada yada). So anyway, my 2 year old daughter talks about penises and vaginas all the damn time now (reminds me of the kid in Kindergarden Cop).

A couple of days ago my daughter comes into the bathroom when I'm getting out of the shower, looks at me and says "that's a BIG ****". I couldn't decide if I should tell her to never look at another **** until she is 30, or just say "damn right it is".

alienmisprint

Nothing obscene or anything yet, but I thought it was cool. My daughter (she turned 18 months yesterday) really liked playing with these plastic golf clubs at her daycare, so my wife went and bought her a set. This morning she comes up dragging them both behind her and hands me one. I do the nerd thing and flip it around like a sword and start making lightsaber sounds, even the little crackle when I hit her club. She instantly turns hers around and starts doing the same thing, right down to the lightsaber sounds. It was a momentous morning, our first lightsaber fight.

And on a side note, I can't wait till she's old enough to want a Force FX lightsaber. Because, I mean, I'd pretty much have to get one for myself too, she can't be a Jedi with no Sith to fight.

Joeyjoe21_8

warning: EXTREME NERDAGE ABOVE..BEWARE, DANGER.!

jkjkjk

alienmisprint

Joeyjoe21_8:

warning: EXTREME NERDAGE ABOVE..BEWARE, DANGER.!

jkjkjk

No secret there....and honestly, the only reason I don't already have one of the FX sabers is that I have absolutely no way of justifying spending $100 on a toy that I have no use for. Once I am needed to represent the "bad guy" for Cadence to thrash, bada-bing, justified.

Dude Love

If the day ever comes where I have kids, they'll have their college paid for with money from the swear jar.

t_evan50

This is some funny S**T! Ive got another couple years till I have these great stories....can't wait!

alienmisprint:

Nothing obscene or anything yet, but I thought it was cool. My daughter (she turned 18 months yesterday) really liked playing with these plastic golf clubs at her daycare, so my wife went and bought her a set. This morning she comes up dragging them both behind her and hands me one. I do the nerd thing and flip it around like a sword and start making lightsaber sounds, even the little crackle when I hit her club. She instantly turns hers around and starts doing the same thing, right down to the lightsaber sounds. It was a momentous morning, our first lightsaber fight.

And on a side note, I can't wait till she's old enough to want a Force FX lightsaber. Because, I mean, I'd pretty much have to get one for myself too, she can't be a Jedi with no Sith to fight.

You know in a couple days you're gunna get a call about your daughter smackn the crap out of kids with a golf club. Any kids named Tiger in her class??? :P

Joeyjoe21_8

hahahahahaha....that was a good one! lol

beatnic

My son informed his kindergarten teacher that he was not allowed to use the "mother f" word. We were called in.

bigharpoon

I love this thread. My 2 year old daughter hasn't used any big swears yet, but the other day we were walking by the canoe and she says "awww...papa, it's soakin' friggin' wet!" It was hard to suppress the laughter.

jj20030

when i was growing up if i said a bad word less than that in front of my dad i may have not been able to sit for a week,lol

boydmcgowan

haha, this is a good thread.

Our Boy is 16 months so just learning to talk, sometimes he repeats stuff over and over and over and over, and othertimes he yells it. either way its a good time and he loves gettng reactions out people and then laughing his a$$ off.

So we're in church on Easter Sunday, and the Priest was preparing the sacrament, and he lifts the bible above his head and bellows "CHRIST HAS RISEN . . . " at which point we're supposed to say "indeed he has" but the boy jumps the gun and yells his new word of the day "YAY", which got us and the people around us laughing, but trying to shush him, while everyone else was looking around and giving a half hearted resopnse. Then the Priest goes in for round too, and since our boy got a reaction from us and the people behind us, he really goes for volume this time . . . . "YAAAYYYYYY." hilarious, he got about 5 rows of people laughing their **** off, including him, before I could plug him up with a pacifier.

we're in trouble when this kid gets to highschool.

DSWarmack

No cursing out of my kids, at least not in front of me, which is amazing (because of my mouth).

Neighbor to his son: What do you do at school on Friday?

Son: Kiss a girl. The kid then explains that way they have all weekend to think about it and they wont be mad at him on Monday. My daughter (Hayley, 8) starts laughing.

Me: What's so funny.

Hayley:If a boy kissed me on Friday, I'd punch him in the nose.

Me: What if it was before Friday

Hayley: I'd kick him in his Buddy (her word for male genitalia) so he didn't forget and try it by Friday!


Two days later I am called to the school because my little girl told a boy that asked her out, 'I can't have a boyfriend, my dad would kill you!'.

dwayne3307

alienmisprint:

And on a side note, I can't wait till she's old enough to want a Force FX lightsaber. Because, I mean, I'd pretty much have to get one for myself too, she can't be a Jedi with no Sith to fight.

I like your logic on this one!!
My nephew is 5 and is a Holy Terror, and I mean every once of the word Terror. If he can pick it up, odds are great he's either gonna throw it at you or hit you with it. Anyway, he's picked up the "F" word from his parents and he is a huge fan of it.
So the other day he tells my mom, "grandma, i have to say F**k, it's my job". My mom just shakes her head, no idea what to say.

alienmisprint

t_evan50:

This is some funny S**T! Ive got another couple years till I have these great stories....can't wait!

alienmisprint:

Nothing obscene or anything yet, but I thought it was cool. My daughter (she turned 18 months yesterday) really liked playing with these plastic golf clubs at her daycare, so my wife went and bought her a set. This morning she comes up dragging them both behind her and hands me one. I do the nerd thing and flip it around like a sword and start making lightsaber sounds, even the little crackle when I hit her club. She instantly turns hers around and starts doing the same thing, right down to the lightsaber sounds. It was a momentous morning, our first lightsaber fight.

And on a side note, I can't wait till she's old enough to want a Force FX lightsaber. Because, I mean, I'd pretty much have to get one for myself too, she can't be a Jedi with no Sith to fight.

You know in a couple days you're gunna get a call about your daughter smackn the crap out of kids with a golf club. Any kids named Tiger in her class??? :P

Yeah, but when she smacks the crap out of them, she'll be making lightsaber sounds. And that, my friend, is f*cking awesome. Also, no Tiger in her class, but I think there is a Jango.....

Krieg

my son just spilled his drink..and I said:

Me: " Ayden, you're driving me banannas"
Ayden: "Daddy, you're driving me tomatoes!"

jsnake

My Daughter as we are walking into the house from the garage. She has a bottle of Root Beer in her hands and she starts getting upset, "It's screaming!!!!!!! It's screaming!!!!!!!"

I have no idea what she is talking about. I look at her and she is absolutely terrified while holding and looking at her Root Beer bottle. The cap was slightly loose and the carbonation was fizzing and making that noise.

I laughed so hard I cried.

RCCCigar

alienmisprint:

t_evan50:

This is some funny S**T! Ive got another couple years till I have these great stories....can't wait!

alienmisprint:

Nothing obscene or anything yet, but I thought it was cool. My daughter (she turned 18 months yesterday) really liked playing with these plastic golf clubs at her daycare, so my wife went and bought her a set. This morning she comes up dragging them both behind her and hands me one. I do the nerd thing and flip it around like a sword and start making lightsaber sounds, even the little crackle when I hit her club. She instantly turns hers around and starts doing the same thing, right down to the lightsaber sounds. It was a momentous morning, our first lightsaber fight.

And on a side note, I can't wait till she's old enough to want a Force FX lightsaber. Because, I mean, I'd pretty much have to get one for myself too, she can't be a Jedi with no Sith to fight.

You know in a couple days you're gunna get a call about your daughter smackn the crap out of kids with a golf club. Any kids named Tiger in her class??? :P

Yeah, but when she smacks the crap out of them, she'll be making lightsaber sounds. And that, my friend, is f*cking awesome. Also, no Tiger in her class, but I think there is a Jango.....

LOL! My kid loves lighsaber fights too! We use flashlights.

RCCCigar

My kid loves to sing Iron Man by Black Sabbath. But he says: "I am Iron Man, climbing in a field with Superman." He's 3 and he sings it in the right tune and everything. I have no idea where he got those lyrics!

docbp87

dwayne3307:

"grandma, i have to say F**k, it's my job"

This. This right here is the funniest thing I've seen in a week. LMAO. Your kid sounds awesome.

This whole thread actually, hilarious. I'm too young to have kids of my own, but I worked a few summers at a pre-school, and let me tell you, I can confirm that 2 and 3 year olds are the funniest motherf*ckers on the planet. The stuff they come up with is just comedy GOLD.

ENFIDL

This thread is making me laugh pretty loud and I'm at work and getting strange looks...lol

My gf's kid got me good once. We were at Target and shopping for drinking glasses. She said how she liked this one set and I said something about how they looked like they are straight out of a 70's **** flick and then she said how those are just the like ones her grandparents had and it reminded her of her grandfather who was the most influential person in her life. I proceed to say oh no I feel like an a$$hole, well that's when he starts saying very loudly "Yeah Elijah you ARE an a$$hole!" he kept repeating it over and over and over. We could stop laughing to get him to stop, which only encouraged it more. We still laugh about that, and that was almost 3 years ago now

letsgowithbob

RCCCigar:

My kid loves to sing Iron Man by Black Sabbath. But he says: "I am Iron Man, climbing in a field with Superman." He's 3 and he sings it in the right tune and everything. I have no idea where he got those lyrics!

My dad tells me I used to sing "yeah the bathrooms on the right" instead of ccr's the bad moons on the rise....I think kids just hear things and associate them to what they know.

When my daughter was 2 she swore the neighbor had an elephant in his garage. She was insistent to the point of annoyance. One day the neighbor is using his skill saw in his garage,(think of the sound) and she gets all excited and goes....ELEPHANT....SEE DADDY I TOOOOLD YOU

lilwing88

My 3 yo son looked at me the other day with hand on hip, head cocked to side and said......"Daddy, you are loco en la cabesa."

What can I say? Kid's a genius.

Krieg

Well, we went out to dinner last night after a very busy weekend. My son is a huge fan of Yo Gabba Gabba and breaks out in random songs all the time...tonight was no different. As we were sitting there eating, he starts singing very quietly "Insiideee voice....quieeett.....Inside voice....quuuiiieeetttt...." Then at the TOP OF HIS LUNGS starts BELTING out "OOOUUTTTSSSIIDDEEEEEEE VOOOOIIIICCCCEEEEE...." I had to grab him and cover his mouth and told him not to use his outside voice. Never a dull moment, lol

RCCCigar

I called my wife the other day and my she put my 3 year old son on the phone and the first thing he said was "I-am-a-ro-bot" and I said "Oh, hi robot" And he said "No-say-it-like-a-ro-bot" so we sat and had a robot conversation for like, 20 minutes. Awesome.

DSWarmack

ENFIDL:

"Yeah Elijah you ARE an a$$hole!"

Honesty is good in children!

RCCCigar: It is moments like that, the ones on the phone with your kids that they will never remember, but you will hold closest to your heart for decades to come.

alienmisprint

RCCCigar:

I called my wife the other day and my she put my 3 year old son on the phone and the first thing he said was "I-am-a-ro-bot" and I said "Oh, hi robot" And he said "No-say-it-like-a-ro-bot" so we sat and had a robot conversation for like, 20 minutes. Awesome.

That is so awesome, I can't wait for my daughter to get old enough for this kind of stuff.