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Detroit Lions announce 2009 schedule

The Lions have announced their schedule for next season. Looks like it'll be another tough one.

September
13th************Taft Junior High School
20th************Cub Scout Troup #101
27th************Detroit Blind Academy

October
04**************Spanish American War Vets
11*************Crippled Childrens Home
18**************Eloise Mental Hospital
25*************Girl Scout Troup #353


November
01*************Michigan Venereal Disease Clinic
08*************Fraser Boys Choir
15*************Korean Amputees
22*************National Hospital Pastorial Ministers
26*************Great Lakes Sychronized Swimming Team
Special Monday night Game
December 08 ***************Grand Rapids Gay Boys Club

Rules (changed from 08 season)
1. When Playing polio patients, the Lions must not disconnect the knee braces.
2. When playing the blind Academy, the Lions must not hide the football under their jerseys.

Rules the same from last year.

1. A touch down (this is when the ball is carried over the goal line, for all you lion fans that have never seen this) it is still worth 6 points.
2. The Lions will be allowed 20 men on the field at all times.
3. The Lions will be allowed to substitute with band members at anytime.
4. The Lions will be awarded 10 timeouts as opposed to 3 for the opposing team.
5. The Lions will be awarded a first down with each gain of three yards or more, instead of the usual ten yards as before.

Th e Detroit Lions name will be changed to the Detroit Tampons as they are the only good for one period and have no second string.

Quarterback will be replaced by Monica Lewinsky, she will no doubt blow a few but she certainly won't choke on the big ones.....

Comments

  • Bad AndyBad Andy Posts: 848
    I thought they were being downgraded to Powder Puff HS League.
  • kaspera79kaspera79 Posts: 7,259 ✭✭✭
    If the Lions show up at any Stadium on bye weeks, ( Which you failed to list ) will they be credited with a Win..
  • Bad AndyBad Andy Posts: 848
    I just heard they were being moved to Canada to play in thier league.
  • kaspera79kaspera79 Posts: 7,259 ✭✭✭
    A local entertainment venue here just joined the Lingerie Indoor Football League.. Chicago Bliss. Other names are Steam, Scortch, Seduction, Breeze, Desire, Mist, Temptation, and Euphoria. Hmmmm. That could be interesting. Women in lingerie playing full contact football.. Maybe if the Lions shaved their legs, they could get their first win of the season. But who really cares about wins/loses or even the score..
  • madurofanmadurofan Posts: 6,219 ✭✭✭
    kaspera79:
    A local entertainment venue here just joined the Lingerie Indoor Football League.. Chicago Bliss. Other names are Steam, Scortch, Seduction, Breeze, Desire, Mist, Temptation, and Euphoria. Hmmmm. That could be interesting. Women in lingerie playing full contact football..
    Where do we get tickets for this?
  • gmill880gmill880 Posts: 5,947
    I heard they were hiring Chuck Norris as coach so they would be afraid to lose
  • kaspera79kaspera79 Posts: 7,259 ✭✭✭
    madurofan:
    kaspera79:
    A local entertainment venue here just joined the Lingerie Indoor Football League.. Chicago Bliss. Other names are Steam, Scortch, Seduction, Breeze, Desire, Mist, Temptation, and Euphoria. Hmmmm. That could be interesting. Women in lingerie playing full contact football..
    Where do we get tickets for this?
    check out lingeriebowl.com The stadium that I would go to is only 15 minutes away. Others may have to travel..
  • madurofanmadurofan Posts: 6,219 ✭✭✭
    kaspera79:
    madurofan:
    kaspera79:
    A local entertainment venue here just joined the Lingerie Indoor Football League.. Chicago Bliss. Other names are Steam, Scortch, Seduction, Breeze, Desire, Mist, Temptation, and Euphoria. Hmmmm. That could be interesting. Women in lingerie playing full contact football..
    Where do we get tickets for this?
    check out lingeriebowl.com The stadium that I would go to is only 15 minutes away. Others may have to travel..
    Holy f*cksticks, its for real!
  • LukoLuko Posts: 2,004
    road trip
  • j0z3rj0z3r Posts: 9,403
    Sweet, I have my choice between Los Angeles or San Diego....but why pick? I'll just be a fan of both. :)
  • madurofanmadurofan Posts: 6,219 ✭✭✭
    Luko:
    road trip
    Fo shizzle.
  • LukoLuko Posts: 2,004
    j0z3r:
    Sweet, I have my choice between Los Angeles or San Diego....but why pick? I'll just be a fan of both. :)
    I like the way you think...there's enough jozer to go around for the ladies.
  • Jetmech_63Jetmech_63 Posts: 3,454 ✭✭✭
    Looks like we have a location for the So-Cal Herf!
  • j0z3rj0z3r Posts: 9,403
    I like the way you think Vinny. Out of curiosity, I checked out where Fresno is...I didn't realize you were as close as you are...that is to say, I thought Fresno was further north than San Francisco for some reason, I had an idea it was closer to Sacramento...I need to brush up on my state's geography. We'll see you at the Los Angeles whatever the hell they're called's game. :)
  • Jetmech_63Jetmech_63 Posts: 3,454 ✭✭✭
    j0z3r:
    We'll see you at the Los Angeles whatever the hell they're called's game. :)

    The teams have names?....huh, how did i miss that.
  • j0z3rj0z3r Posts: 9,403
    Jetmech_63:
    j0z3r:
    We'll see you at the Los Angeles whatever the hell they're called's game. :)

    The teams have names?....huh, how did i miss that.
    Too many curves to pay attention to little things like names I suppose. You start giving concessions like remembering names, the next thing you know they want you to look at their faces when you talk to them...as if that is at all interesting. :)
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