First weekend of things changing forever

y2pascoe

So I know a bunch of you guys know I'm getting married. No big news there. But this weekend, the girls (my fianc

fla-gypsy

Always do whats best for them and they will love you for it but insist on your daily cigar time. You need some solace and relaxation too.

howtobass

y2pascoe:

So I know a bunch of you guys know I'm getting married. No big news there. But this weekend, the girls (my fianc

Rhamlin

Don't over think it brother. Sure some days are hard and it means putting yourself last most of the time. But the rewards are worth it.

[Deleted User]

You will come to enjoy the driving time with the little one. One on one talk and we've had some good talks in the car. Plus you drive a little slower and get to work a little more relaxed. I agree with the compromise comment. Be yourself and things will work out. She's marrying you because she knows you will be a great father, along with all the other reasons. I did the same thing as you, she was 2 when we went under one roof. Now she's 18 and still under the same roof - you have some great times coming brother. Congrats bro.

y2pascoe

james40:

You will come to enjoy the driving time with the little one. One on one talk and we've had some good talks in the car. Plus you drive a little slower and get to work a little more relaxed. I agree with the compromise comment. Be yourself and things will work out. She's marrying you because she knows you will be a great father, along with all the other reasons. I did the same thing as you, she was 2 when we went under one roof. Now she's 18 and still under the same roof - you have some great times coming brother. Congrats bro.

Thank you!

skweekz

Rhamlin:

Don't over think it brother. Sure some days are hard and it means putting yourself last most of the time. But the rewards are worth it.

Yep...this. Very well put.

ENFIDL

Back when my fiance and her kid moved in with me we hadn't been dating long. About 3 months or so. I was getting off active duty and was getting an apartment so we decided then to move in together. It's a big adjustment. The two biggest things imo is that 1. You aren't numero uno anymore. You have two other people that come first. But with that you have to find a balance of taking care of yourself as well. and 2. You go from everything being yours to almost nothing. That can be hard to adjust to. Everything you own now belongs to them and vice versa. Take it all in stride. Don't overthink it and just have a good time.

On the kid note. I do everything I can to give my future step son the father he doesn't have but at the same time I haven't tried to replace his dad. I encourage him to spend time with his dad when he can and to be able to talk to me about him. Never once have I had an issue of you're not my dad or anything like that with him, he's 7 now and has been living with me for over 3 years, because of the fact that I am like a dad to him without ever trying to replace his dad. Do stuff like ice cream and movie night with her, going to the park/playground with her and taking the time to dedicate yourself to caring about what she cares about, etc. I've found that things like that mean more to him than anything else.

BigT06

I have 2 step kids and me and my wife were blessed with a daughter of our own, as well. The step kids can be tricky, but it's still fun. All the advice given has been solid, so far.

just remember, she already loves her child more than you can understand. That will be tough for you at some points... just trust me. But you also gotta remember, that she loves you enough to put herself and her child in your care. Always appreciate that, and do it justice. It will be a fun and difficult journey, but it's worth it, man. I promise.

The_Kid

LOL,,,,Oh my....Well the brothers here have all given some great advice.. Just remember All the material *** doesnt really matter, So when the little one spills fruit punch on the carpet,, Just let it go, Whenshe sticks a lego inside your dvr player and the disc door no longer closes just let it go, when theres more crayon on the wall than the coloring book just let it go.. Dont react in anger try to react in Love and consideration, Kids are Kids and theyre gonna make mistakes cause they dont know any better. Just talk to them and try to explain why not to do those things. Kids value one on one time so if you have the time play play play.....

JonathanE

I'd say that your relationship with your spouse is the most important thing. When my wife and I started having kids (got 3 now) we found it hard to spend time together but when we do make time we are both happier and the kids are too. When we let the kids dominate our time then there aint nobody happy!

IMO, flowers, pants-around-ankles and happy kids are all the saaaaaame thing. {B-)