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Well, I'm getting divorced

danielruasdanielruas Posts: 778 ✭
in Non Cigar Related
No no, not due to my cigar hobby but yeah I am indeed getting a divorce from my wife. Not looking for sympathy or anything just venting. We are on fairly good terms considering, no hatred on either side. But the next couple weeks should be a bit rough. I haven't told many people and felt like venting so here it is: What the f*ck is with women? Anyhow, smoke one for me gentlemen. But I guess this does mean more money for cigars, so I'll take the good with the bad.

Comments

  • kingjk729kingjk729 Posts: 2,579 ✭✭✭
    So sorry to hear this brother .... my ex decided to call it quits back in May and I have been moving forward with life .... I actually just posted this information on the forums less than 2 weeks ago ..... From on brother to another be amicable as long as you need to and then work towards erasing all previous memories and future contact ..... my ex continues to contact me wanting to get together and hang and I'm like nope ..... I have deleted her, her friend, and her family from my phone contacts and social networking and was just recently promoted at work and will be moving to Vermont . There are better people and thing out there and I'm sure that you will come out of this better than you were previously ..... If you ever need anything please drop me a pm.
  • OchoZachoOchoZacho Posts: 1,471 ✭
    Brothers, I feel for you both. I went through a divorce about 2 and a half years ago now. We went to Maui for my ex-wife's 30th B-Day and the day we got back, she asked me to move out. When I came back to get a few things later in the week, I found some clothes that weren't mine that confirmed my suspicions. We were only married for 13 months and I don't really regret any of it. In one foul swoop, I lost my house, my car, my wife, my job and all of my stuff, except for my clothes and my Harley. Not to pull the needle off the record but, for me I can say that I have gained the world because I did develop a relationship with Christ through this all. I am now happier than ever. I met and married the woman of my DREAMS, am back on top the latter I once was at my job, got a house full of stuff again and can't really complain. Life does get better, women come and go and things in life go different than we planned, but keep your heads up and hopeful. Let me know if there is ever anything that I can do for either one of you......Oh and in 2 weeks I am going with my new wife of almost a year, back to Maui to develop some new memories. It will be better than ever one day for you guy also.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3,917 ✭
    If you need anything, let me know. My wife is a family law paralegal in case you have questions. Hope things get better soon.
  • phobicsquirrelphobicsquirrel Posts: 7,347 ✭✭✭
    could be worse, Mel Gibson lost 300 plus million in a divorce. Sorry to hear it didn't work out. Maybe it will be for the best, I wish you the best of luck.
  • ThewelderThewelder Posts: 682 ✭✭
    Glad we could help you in your venting. Just remember one thing it gets better I can promise you that.
  • cabinetmakercabinetmaker Posts: 2,560 ✭✭
    Get a good attorney and don't assume it'll stay amicable. I've never been divorced, but watched plenty of friends and they all said the same thing.
  • YankeeManYankeeMan Posts: 2,654 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Hang in there, it will get better. As I said before, cops are serial marriers and we keep doing it until we get it right. Besides, giving away everything you own every once in awhile keeps you humble! From marriage number two, I got my underware and my motorcycle!

    I'm now on wife number three and she's a keeper, we've been together for 16 years and married for 11. She comes from a police family so she knows the drill. Besides being my wife, she's my best friend and now my smoking buddy. Life can be good, you just have to wait for the right person.
  • The SniperThe Sniper Posts: 3,910 ✭
    PM incoming

  • jj20030jj20030 Posts: 5,804 ✭✭✭✭✭
    good luck danny hope everything runs smooth
  • HeavyHeavy Posts: 1,591 ✭✭✭
    Sorry to hear it bro. Hope everything works out OK. No children, right? That should make things way less complicated if so.

    As to your question "what the f*ck is it with women?", my only answer is "who the f*ck knows". All that I do know is this quote is as true as can be:
    "A woman marries a man expecting him to change, but he doesen't.
    A man marries a woman expecting her not to change, but she does".
    Good luck man
  • dowjr1dowjr1 Posts: 600
    Brother it is bad now but it will get better! I went through one a while back and have since remarried and life is awesome. Been with the new gal for 5+ years and could not be happier. So if the chick is a loser and doesn't want to be your partner then f**k her and find some new. Dude, lots of great gals out there who will gladly and happily be the captain of your team.
  • danielruasdanielruas Posts: 778 ✭
    Thanks for the kind words guys. Fortunately we don't own any property, have any kids of have a great deal of money, so that's making things way easier. Since she's the one who wants out she agreed to leave the house we live in. As for material things I figure whatever we bought together she can have half or whatever keeps the peace. Thanks again guys, I'm getting through this better than I thought I ever would.
  • jj20030jj20030 Posts: 5,804 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Heavy:
    Sorry to hear it bro. Hope everything works out OK. No children, right? That should make things way less complicated if so.

    As to your question "what the f*ck is it with women?", my only answer is "who the f*ck knows". All that I do know is this quote is as true as can be:
    """"""""""""""" "A woman marries a man expecting him to change, but he doesen't.
    A man marries a woman expecting her not to change, but she does"""""""""""".
    Good luck man
    that bout sums it up right there,lol
  • phobicsquirrelphobicsquirrel Posts: 7,347 ✭✭✭
    danielruas:
    Thanks for the kind words guys. Fortunately we don't own any property, have any kids of have a great deal of money, so that's making things way easier. Since she's the one who wants out she agreed to leave the house we live in. As for material things I figure whatever we bought together she can have half or whatever keeps the peace. Thanks again guys, I'm getting through this better than I thought I ever would.
    ...well except the cigars right?
  • jsnakejsnake Posts: 5,979 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I am sorry buddy. I do not wish this on anyone. If I could I would write a book detailing the hell of my 2 year divorce and the hell my ex wife has put my kids, my current wife, and myself through for the last 12 years. This book would make anyone out there realize what is happening to them isn't so bad. Regardless of that it isn't easy. I know all about the stress and everything that comes with it. I actually have a HUGE trial on Monday for custody of my kids. I am now $8,000 into it and praying for the right outcome. Lawyer gave me the new bill yesterday.

    Plenty of us have been through this stuff so if you need a friend we are here for you. Vent away. Get it all out. You will feel better and hopefully help you through this. Be very thankful you do not have kids. That complicates everything a million times.
  • LasabarLasabar Posts: 4,472 ✭✭✭
    Good luck to you bud... Hang in there
  • RhamlinRhamlin Posts: 9,031 ✭✭✭✭✭
    In the words of Spanky. Ah women Phoey!( jk to our sisters here)
  • DiamondogDiamondog Posts: 4,171 ✭✭
    Gettin divorced myself....
  • kingjk729kingjk729 Posts: 2,579 ✭✭✭
    Sorry to hear that Steve
  • roland_7707roland_7707 Posts: 2,833 ✭✭✭
    Me too steve.
    One God, One Truth
  • ENFIDLENFIDL Posts: 5,836 ✭
    Danny and Steve I'm really sorry to hear this brothers! That really sucks. Please don't hesitate to let me know if you guys need anything. Will be praying for you guys
  • roland_7707roland_7707 Posts: 2,833 ✭✭✭
    No not me, just expressing that I was sorry to hear that from DD.
    One God, One Truth
  • ENFIDLENFIDL Posts: 5,836 ✭
    roland_7707:
    No not me, just expressing that I was sorry to hear that from DD.
    Sorry Dane misunderstood that...woops lol sorry!
  • The SniperThe Sniper Posts: 3,910 ✭
    Diamondog:
    Gettin divorced myself....
    +1 here. What the he11's in teh water lately around here???

  • Sol1821Sol1821 Posts: 707 ✭✭
    The Sniper:
    Diamondog:
    Gettin divorced myself....
    +1 here. What the he11's in teh water lately around here???

    ***, sorry to hear that Glen, put my foot in my mouth with that pm i sent you a couple of days ago....
  • camgfscamgfs Posts: 968 ✭
    Must be the time of the year. My first wife left me between Xmas and New Years (10 or 11 years ago). The divorce came a couple years later. It's never easy and seems to happen a lot this time of year. Sorry to hear that so many of you are going trough this. Keep positive if you can.
  • KingoftheCoveKingoftheCove Posts: 937 ✭✭✭
    For Daniel and DD ad Sniper.........free advice from an older guy who has been thru it, albeit 23 years ago.
    Luckily no kids involved for me.

    One thing you can expect, is what I call the "roller coaster".........your emotions will be unstable for a while, you'll be "high" (as in, man this is OK, it's the right thing for me, etc).......then you'll go to feeling like the world is collapsing on you.

    This is normal. How long it will last for you, I don't know.....weeks if your lucky, a few months more likely, longer if you weren't expecting/anticipating this.

    But there is light at the end of the tunnel.

    Also, stand up and stick up for yourself legally.....don't roll over and just give her everything.....be fair, but be firm.

    Me?.....been with my second wife 21 years now, two teenagers, and all the rest.....life is good.....and it will be for you as well

  • The SniperThe Sniper Posts: 3,910 ✭
    sol1821:
    The Sniper:
    Diamondog:
    Gettin divorced myself....
    +1 here. What the he11's in teh water lately around here???

    ***, sorry to hear that Glen, put my foot in my mouth with that pm i sent you a couple of days ago....
    Dont EVEN sweat it Sol - you couldnt have known, I took no offense and Im doing OK brother. Will answer that pm soon, promise! :-)

  • The SniperThe Sniper Posts: 3,910 ✭
    KingoftheCove:
    One thing you can expect, is what I call the "roller coaster".........your emotions will be unstable for a while, you'll be "high" (as in, man this is OK, it's the right thing for me, etc).......then you'll go to feeling like the world is collapsing on you.

    This is normal. How long it will last for you, I don't know.....weeks if your lucky, a few months more likely, longer if you weren't expecting/anticipating this.
    Thanks for the well wishes King. This was pretty well EXACTLY what I went thru for the first several week, but its been 3+ months now and Ive got my feet back under me for the most part. As time has gone on, I have seen and continue to see little signs here and there that this was the right move for everyone involved. My focus is just on making sure this effects my daughters as minimally as possible, and making them understand that NONE of this was about or caused by them.

  • danielruasdanielruas Posts: 778 ✭
    Thanks for all the kind words everyone. and for sniper and DD I feel your pain. Everything is going as well as it can be right now, I'm seeing this was the right choice although it wasn't my decision. I've just been thinking of the positive and not letting myself get down and have a pity party. I've had a great support system with friends and family, never had so many invites to go out for a beer in my life!
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