I can not imagine how hard it was on him to keep his cool... and if you go to the comments of the video or the facebook post there are numerous people going on about how immature he is being, and how he is a danger, that he will turn his "shiny gun" on his family and someone needs to call CPS. He should have put two clips through it and then sold it on ebay to recoup some of the money he wasted on software.
WARNING: The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme. Proceed at your own risk.
"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain
I disagree. Dad didn't teach the brat anything, except that the brat can manipulate Dad into shooting a perfectly good laptop. Brilliant.
A much better lesson would have been to provide the lecture on facebook, and then to have sold the laptop on e-bay, kept the money spent on recent repairs, and then hand the brat a list of monthly expenses that she costs the family - food, housing, clothing, entertainment, insurance, savings for college, etc, and then explain that her "chores" don't even scratch the surface of what her upkeep is costing, but these thngs are provided because they love her and expect her to make the most of the opportunities she has.
Instead, Dad just acted like a child himself, which was a piss-poor lesson as far as I'm concerned. Kids learn how to handle problems by watching how parents handle problems. Dad didn't solve anything, I think he just made things worse.
I'm not sure there is anything more difficult than being a Dad and trying to raise an early teen-aged daughter these days. Boys are easier. Girls are just not rational, and a rebellious one ... it's like trying to tie a fishing lure with vaseline all over your fingers.
Bender Rodriguez I feel raises the most apt question in regards to the issue:
"Have You Ever Tried Simply Turning off the TV, Sitting down with Your Children, and Hitting Them?"
Seriously, JDH, I agree with you. I was 100% on Yosemity Sam's side until he pulled out the piece and blew away the laptop. I thought that was moronic.
A much better lesson would have been to provide the lecture on facebook, and then to have sold the laptop on e-bay, kept the money spent on recent repairs, and then hand the brat a list of monthly expenses that she costs the family - food, housing, clothing, entertainment, insurance, savings for college, etc, and then explain that her "chores" don't even scratch the surface of what her upkeep is costing, but these thngs are provided because they love her and expect her to make the most of the opportunities she has.
.
You're right about the better lesson, but it kind of sounded like maybe he'd already done all that, to no avail. I'm just reading into it, but that was what I got when he pointed out that she'd just come off being grounded for a similar incident. Sometimes, when the childs behavior continues to be unreasonable in the face of reasonable measures, one must show that she/he isn't the only one who can act a fool.
WARNING: The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme. Proceed at your own risk.
"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain
A much better lesson would have been to provide the lecture on facebook, and then to have sold the laptop on e-bay, kept the money spent on recent repairs, and then hand the brat a list of monthly expenses that she costs the family - food, housing, clothing, entertainment, insurance, savings for college, etc, and then explain that her "chores" don't even scratch the surface of what her upkeep is costing, but these thngs are provided because they love her and expect her to make the most of the opportunities she has.
.
You're right about the better lesson, but it kind of sounded like maybe he'd already done all that, to no avail. I'm just reading into it, but that was what I got when he pointed out that she'd just come off being grounded for a similar incident. Sometimes, when the childs behavior continues to be unreasonable in the face of reasonable measures, one must show that she/he isn't the only one who can act a fool.
Regardless if this is your parenting style or not, I bet it works. As said before, this isn't the first time and having seen my sister go though worse rebellion than this, it has nothing to do with rationality or how the parants handle it. She needed a direct effect to the cause to understand. Selling it on eBay is another way, but not as instant. They clearly have money so that was not an issue here. Sending a message was the point.
No, it's not that it's "right". I guess what I'm trying to say is that his main mission is to produce an adult that can both survive and be a good person in the world. For instance, I only ever used a belt on my child about twice. Both times, I explained to him that he had demanded this treatment, since all reasonable efforts to modify his behavior to an acceptable norm had failed. If the child continues to abuse privelege, and continues to exhibit bad behavior, in the real world someone is eventually going to put a stop to it. The lesson is that even people who love you and support you can be pushed beyond the limits of sane and reasonable behavior. In the future perhaps if your parents have talked, administered restrictions, explained, etc., the kid might consider that there's a point at which Dad is going to get just as obnoxious as you are. That the behavior is "wrong", IS the point.
As to this kid manipulating Dad into this, well, maybe. I didn't get the impression she was that bright.
WARNING: The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme. Proceed at your own risk.
"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain
I agree that she needed a quick and solid reaction to her behavior. Was this the best method to use? Probably not. The public humiliation will drive her harder against her parents, but you have to drive her until she breaks and not you. Once she breaks she can look back and realize with a more clear mind what she has done.
Bottom line to all of this is the kid has to know that the parents still have authority over her. Until she wishes to go out on her own and make a real living, she lives by their rules.
I don't know the guy, I don't know the kid, and I'm always reluctant to judge someone elses parenting unless it clearly falls into the realm of abuse. This is childish, but it's not abuse.
I will say this though: This looks a lot more like retribution, and revenge than discipline, or punishment. He looks like he enjoyed it a little too much. When you punish your child, you really shouldn't be enjoying it. That's kind of a red flag that something's not right. On the rare occasion that I spank my son, I feel awful doing it, but I know deep down that it's the right thing to do because his behavior is intolerable, unacceptable, and/or dangerous.
Also, it's one thing to enjoy the irony of karmic retribution, or seeing someone get what they deserve, but that's a whole lot different than a parent doing what they want to make themselves feel better at the expense of the child. This "looks" like that may be what's going on here, but without knowing a whole lot more about the situation, and parties involved I can't say for sure. This event has the potential to cause as many problems as it solves.
I don't know the guy, I don't know the kid, and I'm always reluctant to judge someone elses parenting unless it clearly falls into the realm of abuse. This is childish, but it's not abuse.
I will say this though: This looks a lot more like retribution, and revenge than discipline, or punishment. He looks like he enjoyed it a little too much. When you punish your child, you really shouldn't be enjoying it. That's kind of a red flag that something's not right. On the rare occasion that I spank my son, I feel awful doing it, but I know deep down that it's the right thing to do because his behavior is intolerable, unacceptable, and/or dangerous.
Also, it's one thing to enjoy the irony of karmic retribution, or seeing someone get what they deserve, but that's a whole lot different than a parent doing what they want to make themselves feel better at the expense of the child. This "looks" like that may be what's going on here, but without knowing a whole lot more about the situation, and parties involved I can't say for sure. This event has the potential to cause as many problems as it solves.
"...I will say this though: This looks a lot more like retribution, and revenge than discipline, or punishment. ..."
Bingo. What lesson did he teach? What did the brat learn? Is it OK to shoot stuff in anger? Me, I like to shoot stuff, but I never go near a firearm when I'm angry. Wrong message. I think too many people want to turn their lives into "reality" TV, and that's exactly what I think this guy did.
One , it may have been better for the dad to shoot up the laptop for shock effect to jar the teenager out of her behavior before she/he does something moronic as a annoying teenager that causes someone else with no ethics or morals to empty a clip from a .45 into the annoying teenager whether its a HER/HIM , just saying .
Two , I'm gonna go with a different slant to this video . I think there is a very good chance that this video is a fake . By that , I mean a very good chance that this guy shot up a worthless laptop while filming it , and put it on YouTube just so he could see how far it would go and be discussed . Already everyone at my office and my wife's office and a lot of us on this site are discussing it . BUT I havn't heard anyone say they thought it was just a publicity stunt for what is right now an unknown reason . That thought occured to me tonite as I re-read the comments on here , the pro's and con's of whether is was right or wrong . I think a better question is it real or fake ??? And I will say I have not read the YouTube comments so I dont know if anyone else has brought this up or not , I just have not heard of anyone . I say its a fake publicity stunt for whatever purpose only this guy knows for right now .
Gene
No, it's not that it's "right". I guess what I'm trying to say is that his main mission is to produce an adult that can both survive and be a good person in the world. For instance, I only ever used a belt on my child about twice. Both times, I explained to him that he had demanded this treatment, since all reasonable efforts to modify his behavior to an acceptable norm had failed. If the child continues to abuse privelege, and continues to exhibit bad behavior, in the real world someone is eventually going to put a stop to it. The lesson is that even people who love you and support you can be pushed beyond the limits of sane and reasonable behavior. In the future perhaps if your parents have talked, administered restrictions, explained, etc., the kid might consider that there's a point at which Dad is going to get just as obnoxious as you are. That the behavior is "wrong", IS the point.
As to this kid manipulating Dad into this, well, maybe. I didn't get the impression she was that bright.
i see what you are saying. ive put a lot of thought into if/how/when i will hit my kids if i am a parent. at what point is that acceptable? one of the things that keeps going around in my head is that at some point a kid may not understand consequences of the more abstract variety. I know i didnt. Pain is real and simple. it talks. does it feel good to hand out punishment like that? im sure it doesnt. is it needed sometimes? maybe?
as previously stated in this thread, before or after or maybe even during disciplinary actions a real understanding of why what happened happened needs to happen. there cannot be an arbitrary beating. on the other hand, soft and weak parenting raises lazy and unruly children.
Though I've never had to spank my daughter she's always just been a pretty great kid, maybe a little spoiled but she's been an honor student all her life and has never really tested us because she knows I don't make idle threats. I've got friends who sometimes I've wondered about their parenting skills. They are always having trouble with their kids and usually resort to some crazy form of punishment such as this. While I doubt this will help the dad in anyway except to push his daughter farther away. I did find it amusing, guess that's just the twisted side of my humor.
The dad went on the today show and the impression that i got from it is that it was Far from the first time she had done something like this, and he did take the hard drive out of the laptop before he shot it.
Direwolf
Posts: 3,493 ✭
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl1ujzRidmU
Comments
I pray kid learns her lesson.
never thought that at the ripe old age of 31 id be saying "kids these days"
...especially the lazy part.
"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain
A much better lesson would have been to provide the lecture on facebook, and then to have sold the laptop on e-bay, kept the money spent on recent repairs, and then hand the brat a list of monthly expenses that she costs the family - food, housing, clothing, entertainment, insurance, savings for college, etc, and then explain that her "chores" don't even scratch the surface of what her upkeep is costing, but these thngs are provided because they love her and expect her to make the most of the opportunities she has.
Instead, Dad just acted like a child himself, which was a piss-poor lesson as far as I'm concerned. Kids learn how to handle problems by watching how parents handle problems. Dad didn't solve anything, I think he just made things worse.
"Have You Ever Tried Simply Turning off the TV, Sitting down with Your Children, and Hitting Them?"
Seriously, JDH, I agree with you. I was 100% on Yosemity Sam's side until he pulled out the piece and blew away the laptop. I thought that was moronic.
He should have just hit her.
"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain
As to this kid manipulating Dad into this, well, maybe. I didn't get the impression she was that bright.
"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain
Bottom line to all of this is the kid has to know that the parents still have authority over her. Until she wishes to go out on her own and make a real living, she lives by their rules.
I will say this though: This looks a lot more like retribution, and revenge than discipline, or punishment. He looks like he enjoyed it a little too much. When you punish your child, you really shouldn't be enjoying it. That's kind of a red flag that something's not right. On the rare occasion that I spank my son, I feel awful doing it, but I know deep down that it's the right thing to do because his behavior is intolerable, unacceptable, and/or dangerous.
Also, it's one thing to enjoy the irony of karmic retribution, or seeing someone get what they deserve, but that's a whole lot different than a parent doing what they want to make themselves feel better at the expense of the child. This "looks" like that may be what's going on here, but without knowing a whole lot more about the situation, and parties involved I can't say for sure. This event has the potential to cause as many problems as it solves.
Bingo. What lesson did he teach? What did the brat learn? Is it OK to shoot stuff in anger? Me, I like to shoot stuff, but I never go near a firearm when I'm angry. Wrong message. I think too many people want to turn their lives into "reality" TV, and that's exactly what I think this guy did.
One , it may have been better for the dad to shoot up the laptop for shock effect to jar the teenager out of her behavior before she/he does something moronic as a annoying teenager that causes someone else with no ethics or morals to empty a clip from a .45 into the annoying teenager whether its a HER/HIM , just saying .
Two , I'm gonna go with a different slant to this video . I think there is a very good chance that this video is a fake . By that , I mean a very good chance that this guy shot up a worthless laptop while filming it , and put it on YouTube just so he could see how far it would go and be discussed . Already everyone at my office and my wife's office and a lot of us on this site are discussing it . BUT I havn't heard anyone say they thought it was just a publicity stunt for what is right now an unknown reason . That thought occured to me tonite as I re-read the comments on here , the pro's and con's of whether is was right or wrong . I think a better question is it real or fake ??? And I will say I have not read the YouTube comments so I dont know if anyone else has brought this up or not , I just have not heard of anyone . I say its a fake publicity stunt for whatever purpose only this guy knows for right now .
Gene
one of the things that keeps going around in my head is that at some point a kid may not understand consequences of the more abstract variety. I know i didnt. Pain is real and simple. it talks. does it feel good to hand out punishment like that? im sure it doesnt. is it needed sometimes? maybe?
as previously stated in this thread, before or after or maybe even during disciplinary actions a real understanding of why what happened happened needs to happen. there cannot be an arbitrary beating.
on the other hand, soft and weak parenting raises lazy and unruly children.
link, even though its huffington post i think its a decent article- http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/07/tommy-jordan-laptop-shooting-dad-today-show_n_1326821.html?ref=parents&icid=maing-grid7|main5|dl8|sec3_lnk1&pLid=141627