Home Non Cigar Related
Options

I just lost my father

PsychoSJGPsychoSJG Posts: 766 ✭✭✭
Especially with older BOTL here, I'm sure some of you have been where I am now. I dont really know what I'm doing, but I'm doing everything I can. My father passed away this morning. He wasnt ill, didnt have medical issues, and was only 56. We dont yet know why, but he didnt wake up this morning. Ive been handling everything so far. From calling the fam, to going and telling his still living mother, dealling with the coroner and medical examiner, even having to help carry his body from his room. I've barely even had any time to myself to deal with this. I now have to care for my mother who has a lot of medical issues and soon will be without insurance. I dont even know why I'm telling you all this. I guess I just need to get it out. I'm 26 years old, and I just went from being the youngest son to the leader of the family. I'm not ready for this.
«1

Comments

  • Options
    stephen_hannibalstephen_hannibal Posts: 4,317
    Oh man bro... You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

  • Options
    djbeeniedjbeenie Posts: 469
    Man sorry to hear. Prayers to you and your family.
  • Options
    Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat Posts: 8,431 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Very sorry to hear this. I lost my Dad when he was just 63, but we knew why, and that it was coming. It must be a terrible shock when it happens like this. There are no adequate words, all you can do is remember the best about him, and pass that on to your own kids.
    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
  • Options
    slickricslickric Posts: 705
    Man i am very sorry. I lost my dad when i was 18 (7yrs ago). he was only 58. i wish i had some words of wisdom that would make everything easier but i am not sure they exist. All i can say is try and be strong for the ones you love and i am praying for you and your family. PLEASE, if there is ever ANYTHING i can do let me know. I will do anything in my power to help.
  • Options
    smoke_em_if_you_got_emsmoke_em_if_you_got_em Posts: 4,990 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Sorry to hear this one brother. I myself lost my father when I was in my early 20's and he was in his later 40's and we didnt see it coming. I was given some advice at that time by a friend of mine who had lost both his parents as a child..he told me to cry and let it all out. I tried to hold everything in and be strong for the family for days and it came out in anger and after I cried more than i ever thought I could..i felt that much better.

    Be there for your family brother but make sure to take time for yourself as well. Remember the good things and share those good memories with others who knew him and even those who didnt.

    Your family is in my prayers brother.
  • Options
    ToombesToombes Posts: 4,506 ✭✭✭
    Terribly sorry to hear about your loss, brother. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
  • Options
    DSWarmackDSWarmack Posts: 1,426
    I'm sorry for your loss. I fear that day more than any otheryou and your family are in my prayers.
  • Options
    rburke1129rburke1129 Posts: 386
    So sorry for your loss brother. My father passed away suddenly about 2 years ago. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
    Sorry I'm late, but a manure spreader jack-knifed on the Santa Anna.
  • Options
    DirewolfDirewolf Posts: 3,493
    Sorry for your loss dude.lost my pops.10 years ago..still expect to see him sometimes...hang in there
  • Options
    greg2648greg2648 Posts: 2,440 ✭✭✭
    I am sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers.
  • Options
    BigT06BigT06 Posts: 3,899
    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, brother. I literally just stopped what I was doing and said a prayer for you, and for your family. I can't imagine what you're going through. My dad is easily the greatest man, and single largest influence in my life. Do try to understand that tragedy will call out the natural leader in any situation. If that man is you, take pride in that, and do everything you can to be there for your family. But don't forget to take time for yourself to deal with your loss.

    I will keep your family in my prayers, and I will continue to say a prayer for you, personally, while you lead your family through this valley. If you need anything that I can provide, its yours.
  • Options
    jlmartajlmarta Posts: 7,881 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Really sorry to hear of your loss, my friend. Seems to me to be somehow more difficult to deal with when it's sudden and unexpected like this. Try to be strong and know that you and your family are in my prayers.
  • Options
    MarkerMarker Posts: 2,524
    You might not be ready for it emotionally, but mentally you are. From what you have already said you are dealing with it and taking care of people you know need it. Emotionally it will be hard and gets better every day, but really sucks at the moment. Right now the little things that you do for everyone will carry them, and you, along and give you strength. Keep a focused mind and be there for your family. After that the rest will come in time.
  • Options
    beatnicbeatnic Posts: 4,133
    The day arrives for us all. We all wake one morning to find ourselves orphans. I know your pain. Peace brother. And keep your friends close.
  • Options
    skweekzskweekz Posts: 2,279 ✭✭✭
    Sorry for your loss brother. As always, don't hesitate to ask if there's anything you need.
  • Options
    jj20030jj20030 Posts: 5,804 ✭✭✭✭✭
    sorry for your loss and have strength to be strong to pull your family together in this time, may your dad rip!
  • Options
    MVW67MVW67 Posts: 5,591 ✭✭✭✭
    I am gravely sorry for your unexpected loss, I have been also dealing with pending loss of my father, He has chosen to discontinue chemo, and had most of the family in the past weekend to see him, the family is upset, and I kinda of told them we can't be selfish and think of him, the only thing we can do is help him be comfortable. We know it's coming but it does not make it easy. So my thoughts are with you and your family at this time. Mike
    Life is too short, live it like no tomorrow...
  • Options
    zeebrazeebra Posts: 3,174 ✭✭✭
    Oh man, I'm very sorry to hear that man, I really am! First, I would like to say may your father rest in peace! I hope everything works ok with your mother as well and you can be strong for the people that need you the most. I can't say I know your pain, but I really hope you are ok man and hope for the best! You and your family will be in my prayers!
  • Options
    Duke2Duke2 Posts: 393
    I am very sorry for your loss and am sending prayers for you and your family.  My father is 91 and has Alzheimers so he could go anytime.

    If you need a shoulder to lean on or just need to talk I'm here for you brother.
  • Options
    ScottTDawgScottTDawg Posts: 206 ✭✭
    VERY sorry for your sudden loss. Thoughts and prayers out to you and your family.
  • Options
    HeavyHeavy Posts: 1,591 ✭✭✭
    So sorry to hear bro. I don't have words to express, but just know thoughts and prayers are with you.
  • Options
    Rob1110Rob1110 Posts: 1,577 ✭✭✭
    so sorry about your loss. My deepest sympathy to you and your family.
  • Options
    laker1963laker1963 Posts: 5,046
    WoW, your dad went way too young. So sorry for your loss man. Our thoughts are with your family today. Very sad.
  • Options
    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3,917
    Man, I'm really sorry for your loss bro. Just remember that you need time to deal with this too. If you need anything, please let me know.
  • Options
    jsnakejsnake Posts: 5,979 ✭✭✭✭✭
    So sorry for your loss. It has to be especially tough since it was unexpected. Praying for you and your family.
  • Options
    spindriftspindrift Posts: 818 ✭✭
    Sorry to hear about your loss...This thread actually provided me with an opportunity to reflect on my own father's passing 2 years ago...You will get through this...Stay strong, but don't neglect what you need to do for yourself while helping others during this transition...
  • Options
    boydmcgowanboydmcgowan Posts: 1,101
    PsychoSJG:
    I dont really know what I'm doing, but I'm doing everything I can. I'm not ready for this.
    Thoughts and prayers are with you and yours right now Psycho. I quoted this part of your original post becuase it sounds like you already are ready for this even though you don't feel like it. The way it sounds like your reacting to the terrible news so far, sounds to me like you are handling it in a way that you should be proud of. I'm a firm believer that we aren't put in situations that we aren't ready for.

    Can't imagine what your going through man, stay strong brother, and cherish his memories and act on his teachings.
  • Options
    Sending prayers for you and your family.
  • Options
    kaspera79kaspera79 Posts: 7,257 ✭✭✭
    Stephen , I am very sorry to hear this news.. I will pray for you and your family. Know that there are many friends here to stand with you, so stay strong.
  • Options
    The SniperThe Sniper Posts: 3,910
    I dont care how old you are, how it happens or how far out you see it coming - NO MAN who has a solid relationship with his father is ever ready to lose him. You have my deepest condolences brother, and I will be praying for you and your family in your time of grief. PM sent.

Sign In or Register to comment.