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March 13th Stock Market Update

PuroFreakPuroFreak Posts: 4,131 ✭✭
in Non Cigar Related
Today's Stock Market Report:
Looks like there were mixed emotions on Wall Street despite the Administrations attempts to reassure the nation things aren't as bad as they seem...

Helium was up.
Feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit a rock bottom.
Diapers remained unchanged.
The market for raisins dried up.
Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
And . . .
Charmin Tissue touched a new bottom.

Comments

  • phobicsquirrelphobicsquirrel Posts: 7,347 ✭✭✭
    PuroFreak:
    Today's Stock Market Report:
    Looks like there were mixed emotions on Wall Street despite the Administrations attempts to reassure the nation things aren't as bad as they seem...

    Helium was up.
    Feathers were down.
    Paper was stationary.
    Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
    Knives were up sharply.
    Pencils lost a few points.
    Hiking equipment was trailing.
    Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
    Weights were up in heavy trading.
    Light switches were off.
    Mining equipment hit a rock bottom.
    Diapers remained unchanged.
    The market for raisins dried up.
    Coca Cola fizzled.
    Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
    Sun peaked at midday.
    Balloon prices were inflated.
    And . . .
    Charmin Tissue touched a new bottom.
    lol!
  • kuzi16kuzi16 Posts: 14,633 ✭✭✭✭
    PuroFreak:
    Today's Stock Market Report:
    Looks like there were mixed emotions on Wall Street despite the Administrations attempts to reassure the nation things aren't as bad as they seem...

    Helium was up.
    Feathers were down.
    Paper was stationary.
    Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
    Knives were up sharply.
    Pencils lost a few points.
    Hiking equipment was trailing.
    Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
    Weights were up in heavy trading.
    Light switches were off.
    Mining equipment hit a rock bottom.
    Diapers remained unchanged.
    The market for raisins dried up.
    Coca Cola fizzled.
    Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
    Sun peaked at midday.
    Balloon prices were inflated.
    And . . .
    Charmin Tissue touched a new bottom.
    good thing i have stocks in knives.
    Kuzi's Forum Links Page
  • rwheelwrightrwheelwright Posts: 3,296 ✭
    PuroFreak:
    Today's Stock Market Report:
    Looks like there were mixed emotions on Wall Street despite the Administrations attempts to reassure the nation things aren't as bad as they seem...

    Helium was up.
    Feathers were down.
    Paper was stationary.
    Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
    Knives were up sharply.
    Pencils lost a few points.
    Hiking equipment was trailing.
    Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
    Weights were up in heavy trading.
    Light switches were off.
    Mining equipment hit a rock bottom.
    Diapers remained unchanged.
    The market for raisins dried up.
    Coca Cola fizzled.
    Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
    Sun peaked at midday.
    Balloon prices were inflated.
    And . . .
    Charmin Tissue touched a new bottom.
    Funny ****.
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