I Cant Make This Stuff Up....

The Sniper

In the "Stupid Is As Stupid Does" category, I submit the following conversation I had an hour ago with a teenage girl who waited on me at Baskin Robbins about an hour ago - as yet more proof that the educational system in this country is on life support...

TEENAGE GIRL: Do you know what you want?

ME: Id like a large chocolate shake please.

TG: What size?

ME (smirking, but trying my very best not to laugh in her face): Llllllllaaaaaaarrrrrrggggggeeeee.

TG: Chocolate or vanilla?

ME: BWWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Cccchhhhooocccooolllaaattteee....

I **** you not me brudders, the girl never so much as cracked a smile nor gave any sign WHATSOEVER what an absolute moron she was! Had my daughters have been there, they would have told the lass "Our daddy can never love you."

Because if you ask either of my daughter what kind of girl daddy loves, they will reply with "A SMART GIRL!" :-D

marineatbn03

Thats funny!

stephen_hannibal

wow.

Toombes

And this is the future of our world... In coming years, we'll Have to rely on people like this to provide for our well being.
To put it in perspective: one of our EMS crews were toned out to an unresponsive patient. While en-route they were notified, by dispatch, that the patients daughter who is a nurse was performing CPR... but her mother was breathing!!!

phobicsquirrel

Toombes:

And this is the future of our world... In coming years, we'll Have to rely on people like this to provide for our well being.
To put it in perspective: one of our EMS crews were toned out to an unresponsive patient. While en-route they were notified, by dispatch, that the patients daughter who is a nurse was performing CPR... but her mother was breathing!!!

Mike Judge made a movie that says it all!

jgibv

So what flavor shake did you end up getting??? LOLOLOLOL

That right there is equal parts funny and sad....(some) kids these days...,

jliu

if she was not a teenager, you shoulda asked if she wanted a protein shake. if you know what I mean wink wink.

0patience

That's funny.
I love it when they say they can't make change, cause the computer's down.

The Sniper

jgibv:

So what flavor shake did you end up getting??? LOLOLOLOL

Funny you should ask John. It was actually a large chocolate shake when it was served.

With subtle notes of stupidity.

And light hints of urine... LOL

j0z3r

0patience:

That's funny.
I love it when they say they can't make change, cause the computer's down.

Math...how does it work? The saddest part about that is that with the proliferation of smart phones, that all come with a calculator, it would seem there is no excuse whatsoever for not being able to do a simple computation. I guess it just goes to show that a machine is only as smart as the person using it, eh? And you just can't fix stupid.

[Deleted User]

j0z3r:

0patience:

That's funny.
I love it when they say they can't make change, cause the computer's down.

Math...how does it work? The saddest part about that is that with the proliferation of smart phones, that all come with a calculator, it would seem there is no excuse whatsoever for not being able to do a simple computation. I guess it just goes to show that a machine is only as smart as the person using it, eh? And you just can't fix stupid.

My favorite Judge Judy-ism. Beauty fades, stupidity is forever...

webmost

The Sniper

Another experience with a brain surgeon of a young lady years ago, when making a purchase at a store. She gave me the total, I went to hand her my debit card, and the following conversation ensued:

BRAIN SURGEON: "Im sorry, we cant accept credit or debit cards right now. Our machine is down."

ME: "Really? What is that?" (pointing to the old credit card swiper they used to use with the carbon paper forms, before the advent of the electronic system we enjoy today)

BRAIN SURGEON: "I dunno. What is it?"

ME: "I bet your manager knows. Call her up here a second." When the manager came to the counter, the girl at the counter picked the contraption up and said "This gentlemen seems to think THIS THING can read his card. How does it work if there's no cable hooked up to it?"

The manager smiled at me, rolled her eyes, and proceeded to show the girl how THIS THING worked. Then she thanked me for my patience and said "Kids today. In ten years, they wont be able to wipe their backsides without a keyboard and a mouse!"

That was about 12 years ago.

I didnt think anyone would ever beat out BRAIN SURGEON in the Dunce of The Day category, but Baskin Robbins girl pulled off the near impossible today. LOL

The Sniper

In my industry, a laptop computer is a very important tool, as we use it to record data and test results on the equipment we inspect and test. A couple years back, I came around of the corner on a job site to find one of our younger techs cussing and fussing in front of a piece of equipment as he was packing up his tools and test equipment - at 9am.

ME: "Whats the matter?"

EINSTEIN: "I cant test anything! Im dead in the water here!"

ME: "Test equipment not working?" EINSTEIN: "No! My damned computer wont boot up, so I cant record anything!" I walked around the corner, came back to him and dropped a notepad and a pen on the floor beside him.

EINSTEIN: "Whats THAT for?"

FACEPALM!!! :-)

j0z3r

So what size shake was that?

deejmemixx

i was once called by a telesales man for some stupid tv adapter. I asked him if it was compatible with the hubble telescope and then proceeded to be on hold for 15 minutes while he talked to his supervisor only to have him come back on the line and say...sir...whats a hubble telescope and whats it have to do with a tv.

bandyt09

A few years back I was at a Taco H3ll drive thru and used 2 $2.00 bills to pay my tab of $3.59. Here's the ensuing conversation:

ME: You can't accept these?

HIM: No

ME: Why not?

HIM: Because they are fake

ME: They're fake? How can you tell?

HIM: Because there is no such thing as a $2.00 bill.

ME: Yes there is, you are holding them. Please go get your manager.

So the manager comes up (he's about 2 years older than the person I am dealing with) and I ask him what the problem is with the $2.00 bills and he proceeds to tell me, and I quote "I have never seen a $2.00 bill so these must be fake".

ME: Seriously? OMG in all your MANY MANY years of experience (sarcasm) YOU have never seen one so it must be fake?

Needless to say, I was given the option of going to the ATM and getting real cash or just leaving. The manager was going to do me a "favor" by not calling the police on me for trying to pass fake money. If I wasn't so tired at the time and respectful of the police time, I would have let him call.

deejmemixx

bandyt09:

A few years back I was at a Taco H3ll drive thru and used 2 $2.00 bills to pay my tab of $3.59. Here's the ensuing conversation:

ME: You can't accept these?

HIM: No

ME: Why not?

HIM: Because they are fake

ME: They're fake? How can you tell?

HIM: Because there is no such thing as a $2.00 bill.

ME: Yes there is, you are holding them. Please go get your manager.

So the manager comes up (he's about 2 years older than the person I am dealing with) and I ask him what the problem is with the $2.00 bills and he proceeds to tell me, and I quote "I have never seen a $2.00 bill so these must be fake".

ME: Seriously? OMG in all your MANY MANY years of experience (sarcasm) YOU have never seen one so it must be fake?

Needless to say, I was given the option of going to the ATM and getting real cash or just leaving. The manager was going to do me a "favor" by not calling the police on me for trying to pass fake money. If I wasn't so tired at the time and respectful of the police time, I would have let him call.

this happend to me at Big lots!

Toombes

I pulled up to the drive-thru window at the local DQ in a fire truck while wearing a dress uniform, only to have the girl at the register ask if I was on duty...
"Nope, I stole this truck and these were the only clean clothes I could find."
Snicker... Teehee... Bwahahahahaha!!

JSX

At a bar one time, I put a $20 bill on the table and asked the bartender for a ten and 3 fives, she actually gave me a ten and 3 fives!

jliu

j0z3r:

So what size shake was that?

the cigar football one. duh

Toombes

My brother-in-law found this label while pulling stock at the store he works at. Yeah, you read it right...

wwestern

Toombes:

My brother-in-law found this label while pulling stock at the store he works at. Yeah, you read it right...

Beats the *** out of a lunchable!

RBeckom

Ignorance is the new normal.
I stay at home to prevent A contamination of the incurable illness that is youth today.
:-)
Keep the stories coming, I need the laughter.
Good medicine.

0patience

So. Just out of curiousity, where would you buy that? Just sayin.

skweekz

0patience:

So. Just out of curiousity, where would you buy that? Just sayin.

For only $6.00, buyer beware.

Rob1110

JSX:

At a bar one time, I put a $20 bill on the table and asked the bartender for a ten and 3 fives, she actually gave me a ten and 3 fives!

I once asked a waiter for change for a $20. He walked away without taking the $20 and came back with a $10 and 2 $5s. Never asked for the $20. Pizza was on the house.

Lasabar

Listen up all you bag-a-bones!

I know a guy that works IN A BANK! He says that there is no $2 bill and they only made $100 because of the economy growing, so you guys are HORRIBLE to try to pass off fake money to my FRIENDS! My Friend Abi and Allyssa both lost their jobs because someone paid if FAKE Money! You guys are such assh0les... I'm unfollowing you on Twitter