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Review: Oliva Serie V (habano)

Oliva Serie V
Habano wrapper
Belicoso (5 x 54)

Today was the day, my friends. With talk of the new Oliva V Melanio coming out I realized that I had not yet smoked the original 'V' and should probably smoke one to see if I would like it so I could either jump on the Melanio hypewagon... or make glib comments with eyes half-lidded about it's character like a seasoned, cynical aficionado whose very lips on a cigar should be considered by all a blessing to the cigar, the tobacco cultivars and harvesters, the folks curing and aging the tobacco, the cigar's torcedores, the company founder, CEO, family, the family's dogs, the cigar brand webmaster, the cafeteria staff, and all other cigar smokers everywhere.
But I was scurred!! So scared. As a relative lightweight who grows extremely pleased with himself when he can stomach a medium-strength cigar after a heavy meal and not walk wobbly-kneed to the porcelain throne after finishing it, I was afraid I'd be lying in bed, clenching my pillow, and whispering "never again!" to myself at 8 in the evening.
So I prepared myself. The rites were performed. The Words of Power were uttered. Prayers were offered to a George Burns sculpture carved from spanish cedar and placed at the side of my largest humidor.
Sacred oils of orange Pledge were anointed upon the sculpture and distilled water was offered up to the Holy Beads in the humidor.
A manly meal of Bachelor Grade chili was made and consumed to stave off the possible onslaught of Vitamin N and the wicked humours which might issue forth and lay me up for an evening.

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The mealtime came and went and I begin the pre-light ritual. My hands were shaking, fumbling for the guillotine, and I took a whiff of the stick at the foot...
...and detected a scent that reminded me of an old and run-down gym I had to stay in around 1984 as part of an after school program in elementary school. Or maybe it smelled like a 80/20 wool-and-polyester band uniform from 1991 that had been worn by someone since 1971 and was still in service despite decades of repeated uses and washings.
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Actually, it was the faint smell of hay. But everyone says that. Even me. That's boring. Moving on...
I used my unnecessarily ornate lighter to toast the infamous cigar to show absolutely no living soul in the room how awesome I am because of the gaudy accoutrements of my hobby. I grinned like a foolish schoolboy as the first puffs of smoke issued from the foot and my mouth and for a moment I saw a floating, gray-and-white Floating Head of Death grinng back at me in the smoke before my next puff blew it away and I turned a bit green... not from the cigar, mind you, but at what I had just seen.
Could've been the chili.... or the crackers. They had been in the pantry a while.
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At first there were lots of flavors of spice and tobacco. Might have been the pepper on the chili... or the sweet and spicy beef jerky I had as an afternoon snack. I don't know. It tasted pretty good though. Mouth feel was dry and there was a lot of smoke. A LOT.
Towards the middle of the cigar I started picking up some cedar. Soon after I started getting strong flavors of cinnamon. That probably had something to do with the Snickerdoodle coffee I brewed and started drinking though.
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Yeah, cinnamon was pretty much not a flavor of the cigar. But boy that coffee was damn good.
Snickerdoodle. Creamy, cinnamon-y..eee... ny.. lots of cinnamon flavors. Did you know that coffee beans are actually found inside coffee "cherries" that grow on trees? Did you also know that there is a variety of Indonesian coffee bean called Kopi Luwak which are collected from the droppings of a Common Palm Civet, whose digestive processes give it a distinctive flavor? Well, you do now. Wikipedia can be a cruel mistress.
But I digress...
While there was certainly no hint of cinnamon in the Serie V the last third of the stick gave off a lot of leather flavors and some bittersweet notes... as if I had forgotten to sweeten my coffee. Not sure what's up with that.
When I smoke a cigar that can possibly kick my ass I expect the taste of victory. And maybe vanilla bean ice cream. And freshly harvested honey, sans bear or bee.
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Besides, you can certainly see I sweeten my coffee. It would be a fair statement to say I prepare "dessert coffee."
Some of you might even go so far as to ask me - sarcastically - if I want some coffee with my Splenda and cream. I say shutup.
Doctored up coffee is my security blanket against cigars of unknown strength and character.
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Anyways, the 'V' was a pretty interesting stick. There's lots of strength but it seems to go down pretty smoothly like that medicine Mary Poppins gave to the children. I mean, if 1964-era Julie Andrews was smiling at you (and singing!) and trying to feed you something medicinal that was a tad strong, you'd still take it. You know you would. Because behind that Victorian facade you know she's smokin' hot once she lets down her hair and takes off the petticoat.
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Next stop... V Maduro and V Melanio!

Comments

  • RCY_CigarsRCY_Cigars Posts: 5,492 ✭✭✭
    I like your style, heck of a review. I think I may have one this weekend. Keep your reviews coming, I enjoyed it...
  • Lee.mcglynnLee.mcglynn HahahahaaaaaPosts: 5,993 ✭✭✭✭
    The v's only get better with age!! It's one of my favorites and should always hit the spot!! Try the mb3
    Money can't buy taste
  • jthanatosjthanatos Posts: 1,570 ✭✭
    Lee.mcglynn:
    Try the mb3
    +1
  • laker1963laker1963 Posts: 5,046
    LMAO that was great. I mean the coffee report of course (KD)

    I enjoyed reading this review way more then a stuffy "expert" type of reviews that's for sure. Glad you enjoyed the "V"... great stick.
  • kaspera79kaspera79 Posts: 7,259 ✭✭✭
    Nice .... Review ? It was a fun read for sure.
  • Roberto99Roberto99 Posts: 1,077
    Cool Review DPD. If you get a chance try the V lancero, man is that a nice cigar!
  • fla-gypsyfla-gypsy Posts: 3,024 ✭✭
    Great writing style, Love the V
  • BigshizzaBigshizza Posts: 15,404 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Nicely done sir, enjoyed your stylo
  • RainRain Posts: 8,960 ✭✭✭
    I don't know what that was, but I liked it.
  • catfishbluezzcatfishbluezz Posts: 7,001
    The V lancero is my favorite...you must try it if you liked this. This reminded me im out damnit...
  • danielzreyesdanielzreyes Posts: 8,696 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Haha! what a great review. You're the one who did the corn dog review right? lol
    "It's plume, bro. Nothing to worry about. Got any Opus?" The suppose to be DZR
  • bbass2bbass2 Posts: 1,064 ✭✭
    One of the best bang for your buck smokes out there imo.
  • rzamanrzaman Posts: 2,650 ✭✭✭
    Very nice review, thanks!
  • Glad you all enjoyed it. I enjoy(ed) being a nutcase!
    Roberto99:
    Cool Review DPD. If you get a chance try the V lancero, man is that a nice cigar!


    catfishbluezz:
    The V lancero is my favorite...you must try it if you liked this. This reminded me im out damnit...


    I guess I'll be trying the V lancero soon! Lancero's are mostly miss with me; the only two lanceros that have blown me away were the My Father and RP OWR.


  • KingoftheCoveKingoftheCove Posts: 932 ✭✭✭
    try a LFD Villano...........................................good cigar
  • Dark_RoastDark_Roast St. John IndianaPosts: 1,092 ✭✭✭
    Dude - Thanks for an enjoyable review. I might have to pick up the V sampler in September catalog.
  • reggie713reggie713 Posts: 2,521 ✭✭✭✭
    drpepperdude:
    Glad you all enjoyed it. I enjoy(ed) being a nutcase!
    Roberto99:
    Cool Review DPD. If you get a chance try the V lancero, man is that a nice cigar!


    catfishbluezz:
    The V lancero is my favorite...you must try it if you liked this. This reminded me im out damnit...


    I guess I'll be trying the V lancero soon! Lancero's are mostly miss with me; the only two lanceros that have blown me away were the My Father and RP OWR.


    i had a la aurora 107 the other day completely loved it
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