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Has anyone else had to MacGyver a smoke??

I start this by saying that i work in a prison so recources are pretty limited anyway and I am not always in a part that I can enjoy a good smoke. With that being said...here is my tale...I was in a tower...in the back of the jail...no body around at all...and when I woke up that morning...I knew that i would have this prime spot to have a smoke. So, I look through my humidor and pick out the perfect smoke...I can taste it already. The first 8 hours of my shift I kep thinking about it, checking on it to make sure it was still intact. FINALLY! It's time, I go up to the tower, settle in, after a little bit I heat up my dinner in the microwave (because nothing is better after a meal than a smoke). Now, it's time (or so I thought). I put my chair out on the catwalk, it's a gorgeous, cool, late summer night. Then disaster struck! I got frantic, searching high and low, sweating, cold, and all alone (just being dramatic haha). As I hold the cigar in my hand, searching through my bag, I think to myself "Kevin you truly are a moron!". I quickly realized that I ran out of the house cigar in hand...no cutter...no lighter...I hit crisis mode. Now, my only thought is that I will be staring at this cigar all night and not get to smoke it. My disappointment quickly turned into "caveman" mode. Trying to use the environment around me to do what i must do. I look around the small tower and try to find anything that I can use to do what needs to be done. After about an hour...and many curse words...later. The ideas start flowing. To my right I see a pencil..."PERFECT!" I think to myself. So I remove the eraser and use the metal as a punch for the back of my smoke. A glimmer of hope hits me. I am half way to finally enjoying this smoke...Now the hard part, fire. The search continues...then I spot it, the toaster. Eyeballing the coils...I plug it in. Kowing it will be tricky to light without burning my face off (and of course this one has a safety feature that turns it off when the door gets opened), I knew I had to be smart. Then BOOM it hits me. I look to my right and see the pad of paper, my heart races, the smile that shoots across my face is unstoppable, I know I have won. So, I roll a sheet up, let the coils get red hot...touch the paper to the coil...and just like Tom Hanks in Castaway...i exclaim "I HAVE MADE FIRE!!!"...So, I lit my smoke and enjoyed every puff with a sense of pride....I hope you all enjoyed my little story of having to MacGyver myself a smoke at work...anyone have a similar story?

Comments

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    RainRain Posts: 8,958 ✭✭✭
    Dude....good story! Let this be a lesson on perserverance!
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    It looked grim for a little bit but all worked out well.
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    RainRain Posts: 8,958 ✭✭✭
    I was going to get out of the Army and look for a Prison gig. Too bad my wife had a vote ;)
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    Haha you should thank her every day...its thankless
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    reggie713reggie713 Posts: 2,517 ✭✭✭✭
    ha ha, great story!
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    nickiamnickiam Posts: 608 ✭✭
    love the story. closest i have come was having to use my knife as a cutter and cheap paper matches
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    Caveman mode takes effect once again haha.
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    mmccartneydcmmccartneydc Posts: 3,407 ✭✭✭
    Very good story, thanks for sharing!
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    Steve2010Steve2010 Posts: 1,036
    Thanks for sharing. For some reason I thought it was going to be one of those draw-less cigars that gets cut open and all kinds of stuff falls out like a pinata.

    Glad it ended well!
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    deejmemixxdeejmemixx Posts: 3,084 ✭✭
    Soooo what was the cigar?
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    It was an Oliveros King Havana Oscuro.
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    NectarCigarNectarCigar Posts: 171
    Nice! I've Macgyvered a few cuts so far using knives, scissors, teeth, ect. but don't recall the light.
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    The_KidThe_Kid Posts: 7,869 ✭✭✭
    Improvise,Adapt,Overcome!
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    fla-gypsyfla-gypsy Posts: 3,023 ✭✭
    Great story. I have cavemanned the cut but not the lighting, very resourceful!
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