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Court Runied My Month

RainRain Posts: 8,958 ✭✭✭
in Non Cigar Related
My wife has an exhusband (Taylor) with whom she has a daughter (Tera) with. In the divorce decree, it lists all the dates and times that my wife and Taylor have to exchange Tera. We have Tera pretty much all the time, minus every other weekend.The decree says that whomever is picking her up has to go to the others persons residence in order to get her. Well, my wife works, so it falls on to me to pick up Tera sometimes. Taylor had his apartment complex ban me for no reason, so then there is no way that I can go pick her up, nor would he agree on a place for us to meet.There were two visits in November that my wife had to work and we did not send Tera. We did not send her because he would not give us a location to pick her up. Yesterday, my wife got a supoena to appear in court to answer for violating the decree. Taylor is asking that she be fined, jailed and forced to pay his attorny fees.Runis my whole month. Not only is my wife freaking out, but I'm going to have to pay an attorney.

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    BigshizzaBigshizza Posts: 15,645 ✭✭✭✭✭
    That sucks!! I had HIGH drama trying to get my kids. She felt it was o.k. To not open the door, leave notes on the door and have my kids cancel at the last moment. Such petty BS that just makes life difficult! But, that's their plan, irritate the hell out of you! Hopefully one day there is payback. Hope all goes well for your family Randy
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    brianetz1brianetz1 Posts: 4,134 ✭✭✭
    it is amazing that adults can be so petty and in the process ruin a childs life.
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    RainRain Posts: 8,958 ✭✭✭
    About a month ago, I got a call from the police dept, to tell me I was banned from the apartment complex Taylor lives at. I told the officer I only go there to pick up my daughter, it's not like I'm hanging out there tagging the place...it's 30 miles away from where I live. He tells me that most people agree to meet at the police station.So then I call the apartment complex and ask them what's up. They, in not so many words, said since Taylor is paying them and I'm not...no skin off their back to ban me. They do give me the idea to call back the police.So I call back the police and explain to them that I HAVE to go there, and they tell me to call them when I get there. Last week, we have to pick up Tera and my wife is working, so I show up outside the apartment complex and call the police.About an hour later, a cop comes and I explain to him what you all now know. I tell him that if I was trying to be petty, I would ban Taylor from MY house. That's not what I want. I don't like the guy, but should be able to be civil and act like adults. He has no record of me being banned, despite the fact that the police called me. So he goes in and talks to the apartment owners, who tell him they don't care if I'm out front, I just can't go inside. The cop tells them that that does not make much sense, so they ban me (again). The cop has Taylor's girlfriend bring out my daughter, and explains to her that they can ban me if they want, but then they HAVE to agree to an alternate meeting place.
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    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I pity the children who wind up in the middle of this.
    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
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    RainRain Posts: 8,958 ✭✭✭
    webmost:
    I pity the children who wind up in the middle of this.
    The most strange thing to me is, that at some point, my wife and this guy loved each other. Could they ever imagine it being this way when they were married? I think divorce brings out the worst in people.
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    RainRain Posts: 8,958 ✭✭✭
    brianetz1:
    it is amazing that adults can be so petty and in the process ruin a childs life.
    Explain, please.
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    George249George249 Posts: 6 ✭
    My wife is a family law paralegal. Take detailed notes now and in the future of everything that is said, word for word. Keep this in a log that is updated. Don't write it all in the same color ink as well.

    you're attorney will ask for this anyway so this will give you a good start. you get what you pay for so hire appropriately. Try to get things in writing or email of what he's doing, however, I doubt he would be that dumb. Good luck sir, I hope it works out for you and you family. Pretty lame that he would not want to see his daughter.....
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    xmacroxmacro Posts: 3,402 ✭
    Attorney here (not family law, just some civil and criminal - so take it with a grain of salt) - chances are you're going to have to hire an attorney to go to court. Get the cops name, and have your attorney contact him and take down an affidavit. From what you're saying, the court may have to step in and appoint an agreed-upon meeting place, like a McDonalds or the police station, to exchange the kid.

    It's really not unusual at all for this stuff to happen and the judge has to step in and act like an adult at a childrens party; petty **** like this is one reason I don't deal with family law stuff (though it can be quite lucrative, not worth the aggravation IMO)
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    RainRain Posts: 8,958 ✭✭✭
    xmacro:
    Attorney here (not family law, just some civil and criminal - so take it with a grain of salt) - chances are you're going to have to hire an attorney to go to court. Get the cops name, and have your attorney contact him and take down an affidavit. From what you're saying, the court may have to step in and appoint an agreed-upon meeting place, like a McDonalds or the police station, to exchange the kid.

    It's really not unusual at all for this stuff to happen and the judge has to step in and act like an adult at a childrens party; petty **** like this is one reason I don't deal with family law stuff (though it can be quite lucrative, not worth the aggravation IMO)
    Why is it you can never remember names when you need them! I wonder if the PD has a record of some kind? They asked for my name and phone number when I requested a civil standby, plus the officer had me fill out some paperwork when the apartment confirmed my ban.
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    xmacroxmacro Posts: 3,402 ✭
    Stop trying to remember and take a shower - it's amazing how many things come to you in a nice hot shower when you're not trying to remember or think about something.

    If you still can't remember, your attorney can likely find it, or just ask the police station.

    Either way, a family law judge should be able to sort this out with an order directing where your kid can be dropped off/picked up, assuming you and your ex or the attorney's can't agree on something on your own. It's really not uncommon (more like too common) for one or both parties to be at each others' throats, so it's fairly standard stuff for a judge.

    Just be aware that judges are human - they get as pissed as you would when adults act like children, so don't go petty, and keep in mind the judge cares MOST about what's best for the kids (literally - the real point of a child custody hearing is to determine what's best for the kids, not the adults) , not you/your wife's ego or feelings, so DON'T BE PETTY. Attorney's fees can be awarded, but that's a whole 'nother bucket of worms I'm not getting into; your attorney can fill you in on how that works and how likely it is you'll get anything since family law has it's own rules/procedures, different from civil or criminal stuff.

    The whole child-custody battle can be very expensive or very cheap, depending on how much the clients are willing to work with each other.
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    RhamlinRhamlin Posts: 8,913 ✭✭✭✭✭
    What a d!ck!
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    RBeckomRBeckom Posts: 2,191 ✭✭✭
    I feel for you brother.
    I went through similar circumstances when my girls were young.
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    brianetz1brianetz1 Posts: 4,134 ✭✭✭
    not you.....the father of the child is being an ass hole. The kids end up knowing that this stuff happens and then view this as a normal relationship.
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    xmacroxmacro Posts: 3,402 ✭
    brianetz1:
    not you.....the father of the child is being an ass hole. The kids end up knowing that this stuff happens and then view this as a normal relationship.
    That depends on the age and the kid themselves. I've got plenty of friends who've gone thru bad divorces as kids; a lot of them grew up to be very caring spouses - they saw what went wrong with their parents and went the opposite way.
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    brianetz1brianetz1 Posts: 4,134 ✭✭✭
    xmacro:
    brianetz1:
    not you.....the father of the child is being an ass hole. The kids end up knowing that this stuff happens and then view this as a normal relationship.
    That depends on the age and the kid themselves. I've got plenty of friends who've gone thru bad divorces as kids; a lot of them grew up to be very caring spouses - they saw what went wrong with their parents and went the opposite way.
    True....I shouldnt generalize.
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    RainRain Posts: 8,958 ✭✭✭
    So we spoke to a lawyer today. They think we can get it be so that the judge picks a neutral location for pickup/drop off. Since we broke the decree by not sending her, and Taylor has kept Tera past the court ordered time...they can cancel each other out. The bad news is...the lawyer needs/wants a $2,500.00 retainer fee.
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    ENFIDLENFIDL Posts: 5,836 ✭
    Sorry to hear this man. That really sucks. Hope it all gets resolved soon
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    prosspross Posts: 874 ✭✭✭
    Rain:
    So we spoke to a lawyer today. They think we can get it be so that the judge picks a neutral location for pickup/drop off. Since we broke the decree by not sending her, and Taylor has kept Tera past the court ordered time...they can cancel each other out. The bad news is...the lawyer needs/wants a $2,500.00 retainer fee.


    Perhaps the lawyer will take some nice sticks in trade?

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    RainRain Posts: 8,958 ✭✭✭
    Too bad I don't have $2,500 in stick value either!
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