Lesson learned from this...make a will, and don't let your kid get all the money at 18. My wife and I did wills 8 or 9 years ago when the kids were really young. Cost us $500 for the two of us, including living wills/advanced directives, Power of Attorney in given circumstances, wills, and some estate advice. Our kids have payouts for specific events, like college, wedding, or having a kid, as well as over specific timeframes. But they don't get it all until something like 28 or 30.
Of course, this all presupposes there is anything in my estate for them to inherit other than student loan debt! JK, the life insurance will cover that.
that's F'd up. 500 dollars to make a will. I mean really? Freaking robbery right there.
More good ideas, thanks. The wife just sees my views as mean and that I am being reactionary so its hard for her to talk to me. Shes partly right and its partly a copout on her part. Shes never gonna charge him rent, Ive come to grips with that....but a set list of chores and real consequences for not doing them or deadlines for getting jobs and/or school----IDK I just see him still lying on the couch and wathcing sitcom reruns at 40.
...yeah. But the thing is, why would he really get things together if he knows there are no consequences. He may get a job and stuff and that is cool but if he doesn't what are you going to do? Are you going to put the foot down and make him pay or kick him out? Would you be willing to go that far? What are you going to do if he says F it, I'm sitting my ass down and you do your own damn yard work? It's a real pickle your in. Seems as though if you do some butt kicking it will make things bad between your wife and you. It would be easier if you could get your wife to see your way of thinking on this.
More good ideas, thanks. The wife just sees my views as mean and that I am being reactionary so its hard for her to talk to me. Shes partly right and its partly a copout on her part. Shes never gonna charge him rent, Ive come to grips with that....but a set list of chores and real consequences for not doing them or deadlines for getting jobs and/or school----IDK I just see him still lying on the couch and wathcing sitcom reruns at 40.
In all seriousness,, I've been in a similar situation, with my stepson. My best advice is to listen to your Mrs. on this one and follow her lead.. I know its tough and I know it doesnt seem right. But you have to be together on this also it will show your Mrs that you respect her feelings and your willing to sacrifice your wishes for hers plus you wont come off as the bad guy. Overall if the kid loves his mom and shows her respect. Then he's probably gonna be ok. If he doesnt respect her then things will work themselves out.
This is your wife's first child. The bond/connection between the two is greater than you could ever imagine. If you want to maintain harmony between you and your wife it is best to let her take the lead. Has he ever been diagnosed by a doctor for ADD? His actions seem to be inherent of one that cannot focus for a great length of time. I am not all about the cop out but sometimes there is an undetected underlying reason behind one's behavior. Good Luck. This is a tough situation you are in and I hope all works out for the best.
that's F'd up. 500 dollars to make a will. I mean really? Freaking robbery right there.
Don't want to do a tj3k impression, but it may not have been $500. That's what popped into my head. Price included vault storage with the attorney. IDK if that's really necessary or not. May have been $200 or $250. Whatever it was, I still consider it well-spent because we wanted to get complicated with our estate payouts for the kids to avoid the windfall disasters we've seen. Kinda like lotto winners who go bankrupt.
Intelligence is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.
I like Oliva and Quesada (including Regius) a lot. I will smoke anything, though.
Comments
I like Oliva and Quesada (including Regius) a lot. I will smoke anything, though.