Chain smoker Disc Dying
deejmemixx
Posts: 3,084 ✭✭
Trying to get a business up and going... just local, but using a website to find people. I know its a free one atm, but its a start. Let me know what you think of it, what needs to change etc. Thanks guys http://chainsmokerdiscdye.webs.com/
0
Comments
"We are 100% custom, no machines no cut corners to push products out."
In a conversation, I would understand the meaning, but when I read that for the first time, it was hard to follow.
I think either some punctuation is missing or the statement seems incomplete.
And this:
"The product starts with your idea, with one on one communication we will take that into what will be the envy of your friends."
It might just be me, but I had a hard time understanding the way the words are put together and had to read it over a couple times. "we will take that into what will be the...." might sound fine in conversation, but it reads wrong. The sentence could be broken into a couple of sentences. "The product starts with your idea. With one on one communication we will design a disk that will be the envy of your friends!"
Sorry if I seem to be too picky about things. Sentence structure and grammar can make or break a website. Have people proof read and when you are ready to launch, get away from the free site servers.
I think what you are doing is cool. That sport isn't very popular up here, but I'm sure there is a market for what you do. Keep us up-to-date with the site. I'd like to check it out when you have it polished up. Best of luck.
Even the name of the site itself "Chain Smoker Disc Dying" sounds like a computer error message -- like "Application Error - The instruction at 0x7c911669 referenced memory at Ox2e343030". Each word is English, but the string of them is a headache. Simplify. Make it easy. This comes to you from a guy who is not afraid of words with plenty syllables.
I would add that you don't have to post up buttons which lead to nowhere. Save your photos button until you have photos. Save your testimonial button until you have testimonials.
I just came back from Lowes. Before you even get in the store, they have mowers lined up outside. Between the front door and the inner door, there are stacks of bottled water and grass seed and fertilizer on sale cheap. As I enter the store, there are stacks of other seasonal specials on either side. At the end of those stacks is a guy in a red vest waiting for me to tell him what I'm looking for and send me there. At a little table beside him is a guy making race cars from a kit with a dremel. Then of course there are the flashlights and candy bars on the way out. If you are selling, start and end selling. It's not about "about us" or disc golf videos. It's an eye popping picture of a great disc with a buy now button. Put product first, product last, product in between. Make it real easy to spend money. If they want a one off custom special, they can spend more time and money. If they just want to shoot you bucks, let em.
Good luck
I agree with the above comments, some "product" pics right up front would be great. And I understand that your site is for a specific audience (disc golfers) but since I am not really into that, I was a little lost at first of what your biz does. May sound stupid, but dont be afraid to be perfectly blunt in the "about us" section and just say exactly what you guys do. For ex, "we custom design discs blah blah blah."
It's obvious to you what you do, because it's your biz, and many of your target audience will figure it out or infer, but I think just a one liner quick explanation of who you are and what you do is appropriate.
oh and the mobile site looks good. I hope your site is a success!