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Counting My Blessings

webmostwebmost Dull-AwarePosts: 6,634 ✭✭✭✭✭
Mother's Day we get a call from the stepson. Mom's Day works backwards around our house. He needs bail money. So that Monday I mail off an express mail box with a stack of cash in it. To keep the cash company, Bearswatter bakes her son some brownies and I throw in a dozen or so cigars. Why do I send cigars to my lunkhead stepson? Because he never sends nothing back. You see, it is more blessed to give than it is to receive. Think about it.

That same weekend, the guy over the fence behind me, I hired him to haul away the porch roof..He can use a couple Franklins cause work installing counter tops is hard to find these days, he drinks, his wife left, and he has a son to feed. Drives a pickup, I don't, so it's a done deal. I spot him smoking cigarettes, so I hand him a couple mild stogies and encourage him to try cigars instead, cause by the time he pays four or five bucks a pack tax, Jesus. Monday when I pay him, he says he enjoyed the sticks, so I stuck his cash and ten more sticks in a canister with a water pillow and tell him when he burns through those come back. Why do I hand cigars to my out of work neighbor? Because he is short of money so he will not give back You see, it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.

Tuesday, a biker friend came over looking for help to repair his pannier. This guy I already know he likes cigars, cause I have laid some on him before. He is a salesman for a struggling restaurant supplier. Restaurants are bouncing checks and he gets hit with chargebacks. Still paying off his mother from when he was out of work two years. Makes pizzas on weekends to try and catch up. So I lay a fistful of sticks on him. Why do I lay cigars on my brother biker? Because he is in no position to give back. You see, it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.

Setting out Saturday to see a guy at a cigar factory, Sunday to see a tobacco grower, Monday to a Mem Day BBQ. I'll tote smokes each day. Why do I lay cigars on these strangers? Because they will be surprised, with no ammo to give back. You see, it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.

I adopted this strategy a year ago because I cannot keep up with guys on this forum. I am just a poor working man, I live in a working man's neighborhood, and I associate with ordinary blue collar fellows. I can't afford Illusiones. What do I do? I take a trowel and harvest the back yard, I root round in the White Owl box a client gave me, I grab a bundle from the bargain bin, I shoot off these miserable dog rockets, cardboard freebies, and shopworn yard gars to a BOTL and what do they do? They send me back twice as many exhorbitant ambrosial uppowoc cylinders in return. I can not keep up with that, I tell you. Whereas the strangers I meet riding, they take my gift with a baffled expression and leave me blessed. I buy my blessings at the dollar store.

I was doing fine, feeling all blessed up and stuff, until I let myself get suckered in. Last week, a BOTL here said he wanted to bomb the shed out of a couple forum members down on their luck. I musta misunderstood. I pitched in hoping that down on their luck would mean no firing back. Mistake. I sent the big shizz my daily harvest from the back yard, whereby the postage cost more than the contents, and here's what he sends me back yesterday:

image

If it is more blessed to give than it is to receive, then this guy has stolen my blessings for a year. Shizzmeister, what the hell? What's wrong with you?

I am counting my blessings. They are diminishing fast. I can't go on this way At my age, I might need an ample stash of blessings any day now. So I have made up my mind. I'm not sending anything to anybody on this forum ever again. I'm strictly sticking to neighbors and guys I meet on the road. I like buying cigars. Guys keep giving me cigars. Ergo I gotta get rid of them somehow. Bombing BOTLs only makes it worse. I need to pick my targets more carefully. Stick to the impecunious and the unsuspecting.

p.s. Yeah, I don't know how that picture got upside down either.
Anybody have bigbill72's address?

“It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


Comments

  • brianetz1brianetz1 St. Louis, MOPosts: 4,135 ✭✭✭
    well said........but enjoy those sticks. you deserve em
  • blurrblurr Posts: 962 ✭✭
    These guys are generous, we all learn that quickly round these parts. Best group of guys on the interwebz! And as generous as you are giving out webby, now I know why you stock up on budget sticks. You're just getting your return Karma. You got shizzed on but it happens to the best of us.
  • Gray4linesGray4lines KentuckyPosts: 4,682 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Good hit on a good guy! You deserve those! Maybe all those blessings are being paid back in the form of cigars (I wouldn't argue with that!).
    LLA - Lancero Lovers of America
  • curtpickcurtpick nunyobusynezPosts: 2,761 ✭✭✭
    Jim is a top knotch Guy.
    Kind of like a big ass Teddy Bear ya know ?
    Sneaky.. but you gota love him.
    Webmost, I love your attitude towards life.
    I've been through some rough times in the past.
    Hell, I'm attending a funeral this Saturday in Peoria,IL for a wonderful old gal I have known for years.
    Sitting with her Son( one of my best friends ) at a race for her Daughter, 82 yrs old, laughing ,cheerful, looks at her Son in law, slumps over and simply gives up the ghost.
    Bless her heart, she gave more to me than I could ever return.
    MeMa is what I called her.
    You Sir are a blessed man indeed.
    No material thing makes a man or woman happy.
    I've been somewhat lucky and can attest to that.
    It's those times you can share,from your heart,with friends, acquaintances, and family that is the true stuff of life.
    And once you learn that its about giving then everything in else in life pales in comparison .
    You take care my friend !
    You have my deepest respect.
    Family, Friends, Golf, Cigars, Fine Whiskey, Good beer.... is there anything else ?  Follow on instagram @crguy1961
  • Ken_LightKen_Light Posts: 3,539 ✭✭✭
    Great post, I feel like I re-learn a perspective that's been dead and buried in me and in most of the world for far too long when I read yours. It makes me want to bring it back to life, but it's difficult and I fail miserably. But I want to practice.

    I also learned from this particular wonderful post that you're not sending cigars to the brothers on here anymore. So, from your perspective, you've now become someone who won't send back...trying to rehearse this now, 'more blessed to give than it is to receive.' Did I get it right? I think so. And now, who won't fire back...
    ^Troll: DO NOT FEED.
  • webmostwebmost Dull-AwarePosts: 6,634 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Ken Light:
    Great post, I feel like I re-learn a perspective that's been dead and buried in me and in most of the world for far too long when I read yours. It makes me want to bring it back to life, but it's difficult and I fail miserably. But I want to practice.

    I also learned from this particular wonderful post that you're not sending cigars to the brothers on here anymore. So, from your perspective, you've now become someone who won't send back...trying to rehearse this now, 'more blessed to give than it is to receive.' Did I get it right? I think so. And now, who won't fire back...
    Goot Gawd what logical pitfall did I step into now?

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • RainRain Posts: 8,960 ✭✭✭
    What have you done to the Space-time continuum?!
  • pelirrojopelirrojo Farmington, NMPosts: 1,759 ✭✭✭
    You know... in the aftermath of events like the tornado in Oklahoma you always hear people say "sometimes it takes a tragedy to bring out the good in people" or "this really restores my faith in humanity" something along those lines.

    I find it difficult to see any merit in either of those statements. I know there are plenty of bad apples out there, but I see far more good than bad taking place in the world around me. I'm not sure if that is a matter of perspective or of reality, or because I don't watch the evening news. Regardless, I know we live in a world filled with good deeds that go generally unnoticed, and you don't have to look much further than this forum to see it. This place never ceases to amaze me.

    I read this earlier this morning, but sort of wanted to gather my thoughts about it before commenting. Also, I had to drop a package off at the PO this morning, and was hoping I would have a DC# to post here. Alas, your blessing was that there were no small flat rate boxes.
  • webmostwebmost Dull-AwarePosts: 6,634 ✭✭✭✭✭
    pelirrojo:
    You know... in the aftermath of events like the tornado in Oklahoma you always hear people say "sometimes it takes a tragedy to bring out the good in people" or "this really restores my faith in humanity" something along those lines.

    I find it difficult to see any merit in either of those statements. I know there are plenty of bad apples out there, but I see far more good than bad taking place in the world around me. I'm not sure if that is a matter of perspective or of reality, or because I don't watch the evening news. Regardless, I know we live in a world filled with good deeds that go generally unnoticed, and you don't have to look much further than this forum to see it. This place never ceases to amaze me.

    I read this earlier this morning, but sort of wanted to gather my thoughts about it before commenting. Also, I had to drop a package off at the PO this morning, and was hoping I would have a DC# to post here. Alas, your blessing was that there were no small flat rate boxes.
    Okay okay okay it's time to tone down all this webmostophilia big time. The truth is I am about to duck out of work early, leaving someone else to clock me out at the end of the day, then I am going to drop by the liquor store where they sell crack out the back door, then I am going to park in my usual place beside the middle school and use my binoculars. Which reminds me to stop by the 7-11 and steal some more kleenex. In short, no good deeds here I fear.

    I just like to work up some improbably story line when I post things here -- just as a sort of hook for people's reading interest, is what. So the purpose of this story was just a left handed way of saying that bigshizza is stacking up his karma tall and wide by shooting off valuable shizz to every unworthy perfect stranger like myself who he can find some flimsy excuse to. That's all. Just a different kind of a back door way of expressing it rather than just handing him a bald thanks. No tornadoes, no British housewife talking down a mad rag-head soldier-stabber in the street (she was awesome, wasn't she?). Nope. just a rhetorical prank.

    I really thought the diminishing number of sticks in the series of picks I posted under back they go would get more attention than this happy shizzies party.

    Pelirojo, call me webleast, and send any bombs to the shizzmeister. He's the guy.

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • Gray4linesGray4lines KentuckyPosts: 4,682 ✭✭✭✭✭
    You still deserve it... you lazy, mooching, pedophilic, crack-headed creep.
    LLA - Lancero Lovers of America
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