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ice to the eskimos

webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
So why is it you never think of the right simple way to handle a thing until you are almost home on the road out of there?

My local B&M has many branches. The cigar geeks all hang in the main branch, eight miles away. Mere cigarette clerks staff the satellite stores. When you ask about cigars, they don't know nothing. One such satellite lies but half a mile from me. I go there because it's close, it's beside Sears where I shop for tools, it's on the way back from Lowes where most every honey-do leads me, and it's two doors from Wawa where is the cheapest gas. There's a half dozen clerks there from time to time who I have often encouraged to get into cigars and learn the stock enough to advise people. But the store won't give them a discount, believe it or not, and they are on store clerk wages, so... There's one chubby girl who admires cigars and tries one when she can. There's one young guy who tries one or two when he can and wishes he had the means to gain product knowledge. None of the rest care. They sell cigs, lottery tix, rolling papers, and go home. It's just a job. They don't even know where a brand is on the shelves. I step in the well stocked satellite walk-in, pull out my cell, and talk to the geeks. Only way to get something done.

So I'm in the nearby satellite last month, I spot boxes of 25 robusto Nestor Reserve 2000 knocked down to seventy bucks, I ask the chubby clerk girl how much for one so I can try it out, she is not authorized to bust a box, the price for a single is not in the computer, I call the geeks, it's not in the system, can't be done. All I'm getting is the computer excuse. So I try to enlighten these guys. I say: "Look: I can shop cheaper on line. Why do you think I come here, other than for service?" I tell the clerk, "Next time the geek comes in to stock the walk in, tell him you need authority to bust a box and figure it out. It's your job that's on the line. The computer doesn't walk through the door with your salary in it's pocket. I do. Need to convince the puter to take my money." Went back a week later. That guy clerk was on duty. Same song second verse. Same phone call. Same lecture.

I happen by there again Friday on the way back from Lowes scoring tubing to hook up the ice maker, and guess what? Busted box on display. My suggestions have borne fruit. Bought one. Had to. Liked it. Mellow, mild, flavorful. Great aroma. Went back yesterday on the way back from gas. Bought a box. Had to. Both of the aforementioned cigarette clerks happened to be on duty. I asked them whether they had ever tried these? Nope. Singles were six and change a pop, and that was beyond their means. Said: "I'll bring you some."

Three doors from my driveway before it occurred to me: "Why didn't you bust open that box when you were standing there?'

Duh.

So I rode back with a couple sticks today. She was there. He was not. She was talking to a guy about signing up for classes to qualify for a concealed carry permit. Great idea if you're going to clerk in a store. Even better if you're a girl. Guns defend people.

On the way back just now, it occurred to me: Ice to Eskimos. There's prolly twenty thirty grand in stickage in their walk in, and here I am bringing a couple sticks cost me like five bucks to the kids who work there. But then, these clerks are perfect targets. They have not the means to shoot back. They do have a need to know. Who knows, they might do me a solid in future. It's perfect. I love it. I'm going back there.

Have you bombed your eskimo lately?

“It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


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    Lee.mcglynnLee.mcglynn Posts: 5,960 ✭✭✭✭
    Hahahahaaaa great story Davis!! I actually hit Eskimos with ice all the time!! The b&m I frequent the most doesn't have a great selection and most of the sticks are the 6x60 bs. So when I get a new order in I always give them some just to try and hope one day the store might get more of a selection in. Plus I know I make more then they do....I'm far from rich and closer to poverty but it's all about the love and passion of this habit
    Money can't buy taste
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    BamablowsBamablows Posts: 338
    Random acts of kindness make the world go round. I LOVE THIS!!! You are a good man!
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    RhamlinRhamlin Posts: 8,960 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Who knows maybe you'll be able to bring them around. It is a pain when your asking about a stick you've never heard of and they know less than you do. And anytime I'm in a b&m I always look for things I can't get on line.
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    raisindotraisindot Posts: 1,294 ✭✭✭
    Great story, Davis.

    But methinks you might protest a bit too much, at least about the clerks. I doubt they're working on comimssion and are probably getting paid minimum wage. Chances are, a lot of them don't smoke cigars or may not smoke at all. If it's like most retail stores are turnover of these people is very high and they receive no training other than how to pull a box off a shelf and punch in the pricel. What it looks like your satellite location is missing is a "stogiellier" whose sole job is to provide advice to customers. My guess is that the corporate owners don't think there's enough profit to justify hiring an expert, at least in certain locations. So you have low-paid flunkies who doin't have the authority to open boxes and those who want to learn more about the store's products don't have the opportunity to do so at the store's expense. That's a corporate issue, not a worker-bee issue. Chances are the stores makes much more money on cigarettes and lottery tickets than cigars, and most of those consumers already know which brands they want (can you imagine asking a clerk to recommend a specific brand of cigarettes?).

    But I think even the 'experts' at one-store B&Ms can be ijiots as well. There's only one B&M within a ten mile radius of me, and the one time I went in there looking for recommendations he tried to push all sort of overpriced and overrated Gurkha crap on me and gave advice on issues like humidification that thoroughly contradicted the much more trustworthy views of good folks like you on this forum. Just based on that I don't go to the B&M for anything other than Butane, and I buy all my cigs online.
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    VisionVision Posts: 7,865 ✭✭✭✭✭
    webmost:
    So why is it you never think of the right simple way to handle a thing until you are almost home on the road out of there?

    My local B&M has many branches. The cigar geeks all hang in the main branch, eight miles away. Mere cigarette clerks staff the satellite stores. When you ask about cigars, they don't know nothing. One such satellite lies but half a mile from me. I go there because it's close, it's beside Sears where I shop for tools, it's on the way back from Lowes where most every honey-do leads me, and it's two doors from Wawa where is the cheapest gas. There's a half dozen clerks there from time to time who I have often encouraged to get into cigars and learn the stock enough to advise people. But the store won't give them a discount, believe it or not, and they are on store clerk wages, so... There's one chubby girl who admires cigars and tries one when she can. There's one young guy who tries one or two when he can and wishes he had the means to gain product knowledge. None of the rest care. They sell cigs, lottery tix, rolling papers, and go home. It's just a job. They don't even know where a brand is on the shelves. I step in the well stocked satellite walk-in, pull out my cell, and talk to the geeks. Only way to get something done.

    So I'm in the nearby satellite last month, I spot boxes of 25 robusto Nestor Reserve 2000 knocked down to seventy bucks, I ask the chubby clerk girl how much for one so I can try it out, she is not authorized to bust a box, the price for a single is not in the computer, I call the geeks, it's not in the system, can't be done. All I'm getting is the computer excuse. So I try to enlighten these guys. I say: "Look: I can shop cheaper on line. Why do you think I come here, other than for service?" I tell the clerk, "Next time the geek comes in to stock the walk in, tell him you need authority to bust a box and figure it out. It's your job that's on the line. The computer doesn't walk through the door with your salary in it's pocket. I do. Need to convince the puter to take my money." Went back a week later. That guy clerk was on duty. Same song second verse. Same phone call. Same lecture.

    I happen by there again Friday on the way back from Lowes scoring tubing to hook up the ice maker, and guess what? Busted box on display. My suggestions have borne fruit. Bought one. Had to. Liked it. Mellow, mild, flavorful. Great aroma. Went back yesterday on the way back from gas. Bought a box. Had to. Both of the aforementioned cigarette clerks happened to be on duty. I asked them whether they had ever tried these? Nope. Singles were six and change a pop, and that was beyond their means. Said: "I'll bring you some."

    Three doors from my driveway before it occurred to me: "Why didn't you bust open that box when you were standing there?'

    Duh.

    So I rode back with a couple sticks today. She was there. He was not. She was talking to a guy about signing up for classes to qualify for a concealed carry permit. Great idea if you're going to clerk in a store. Even better if you're a girl. Guns defend people.

    On the way back just now, it occurred to me: Ice to Eskimos. There's prolly twenty thirty grand in stickage in their walk in, and here I am bringing a couple sticks cost me like five bucks to the kids who work there. But then, these clerks are perfect targets. They have not the means to shoot back. They do have a need to know. Who knows, they might do me a solid in future. It's perfect. I love it. I'm going back there.

    Have you bombed your eskimo lately?


    I was into this till I got to the "chubby" part. Who gives you the right to judge someone based on weight? Maybe when you walk in they think "Here comes that pompous guy again". I hope you're donating your time to educate them properly on everything cigar.
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    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Vision:
    Who gives you the right to judge someone based on weight?
    Is this a joke? Or is it YOU who think that "chubby" is perjorative and not simply descriptive?

    Personally, I resemble that remark. Well, I may not be chubby, but I do sport a beer gut. Balding too. If I can't get this knee straightened out, then my sports habit will be over, and I will chub up. I can feel it happening already. I'll run for governor of Joisey in a couple years.

    Hey, in days gone by, I might have made a move on this gal. She is jolly, smart, cheerful, buxom and glad to show them, seems like a hard worker, curious, confident, easy to talk to, nice face and nice tats as well. I'll see if I can snap a picture of her without appearing pervy.

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


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