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Badges? We don't need no stinking badges!

MarkerMarker Posts: 2,524 ✭
in General Discussion
Oliva V badge. Smoke all of the Oliva V from the 5 pack sampler
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Oliva V maduro badge. Smoke all of the V maddy from every year in one day 2008-2013.
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Anejo master of the universe badge. Smoke every number of the Anejo line in a day (He-Man)
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My father knows best badge. All 6 my father cigars in one day.
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Camacho Man badge. Smoke one of every Camacho line in a day, while listening to The Village People.
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When I think about you I Gurk myself badge. Smoke one Gurkha, doesn't matter which. This is a masochist badge.
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Vin Diesel badge. Smoke one of every Diesel cigar in a day. Yeah most of the Diesels are one trick ponies, like the badge namesake.
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La Gloria Cubana Pony Show badge. Smoke the 6.2x64 LGC black. Nothing looks more like you are sucking off a donkey than the monster LGC cigars that are pitch black.
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Taking an INCH at a time badge. Except maybe smoking an INCH maduro. Refer to LGC comment.
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Chuck Norris badge. Smoke every one of the Punch NC line cigars. We all know it should be called the roundhouse badge but this creativity s**t is hard.
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Rocky Patel 24/7 badge. Smoke the whole RP line from start to finish. Hence why it is named after a whole week without sleep.
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Every day I'm nubbin it badge. Smoke one of each Nub wrapper in a day. Must also post a video of you shufflin to display the badge, while smoking a Nub.
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AVO badge. Need to post a picture of you smoking an AVO with Avo Uvezian. Need to get this done soon. He is getting up in age but does still frequent Corona Cigar Co in Orlando. When his wife will drive him there. Avo doesn't drive but goes to the shop about 3 times a week.
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Opus X badge of valor. A couple ways to qualify. First, have an Opus X band tattooed anywhere on your person. Picture required. Yes, I know what I just asked for. Second, smoke every Opus with an 'x' anywhere in the name. Post a picture of the bands, because they kick a$$.
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Lost Season Finale badge. Watch every episode of Lost while smoking every size of the Opus X Lost City. Again post all the bands because they are cool. Then be ready to be mocked for watching Lost, but praised for smoking all those Lost City.
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Padron Me Sir badge. Smoke one of each; thousand series, 1964, 1926, 45th and 85th in the same day.
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Ashton Kucher MILF badge. Smoke one Ashton ESG. We all know the VSG doesn't make sense. Demi and Mila both had some mileage before he got them.
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Tatuaje Monster badge. Smoke one of each full sized monster cigar in a day. None of that mini wimpy crap.
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Varina Farms Breakfast badge. Smoke a Varina in the morning. No pictures. If you understand this and could stand reading this far, congratulations. For those who don't understand the reference here, the joke wasn't for you.
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Cinco de Mayo badge. Smoke (5) Cinco Vegas cigars on May 5th.
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LFD I dig you badge. Smoke an LFD ligero, double ligero and finish off with a digger, in one day. I realize this might kill you, so please set up a Vherf before you try. We will laugh at your expense.
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Comments

  • 90+_Irishman90+_Irishman Posts: 12,409 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Love it Jamie :) Please record any attempt at any of these you do :P
    "When walking in open territory bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them."
  • 90+_Irishman90+_Irishman Posts: 12,409 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Seriously though, haven't laughed this hard at a post in a verrrrry long time! You need to be our resident dry humor comic :)
    "When walking in open territory bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them."
  • Bob_LukenBob_Luken Posts: 10,710 ✭✭✭✭✭
  • danielzreyesdanielzreyes Posts: 8,771 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I have a nacho badge
    "It's plume, bro. Nothing to worry about. Got any Opus?" The suppose to be DZR
  • jgibvjgibv Posts: 9,244 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Bwahahahaha!!!! Awesome

    * I have a new address as of 3/24/18 *

  • rsherman24rsherman24 Posts: 7,212 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Awesome. May have to earn some of them just for the descriptions.

    My favorite cigar list here

  • dr_frankenstein56dr_frankenstein56 Posts: 1,612 ✭✭✭
    rsherman24:
    Awesome. May have to earn some of them just for the descriptions.
    I agree! Lets do it man! I can jump on the Nubber and LGC one for sure, but id really really like the Milf Badge.

    Aj
  • rsherman24rsherman24 Posts: 7,212 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I used to like LGC, but now I have to go home and donate that Serie R Black to someone.

    My favorite cigar list here

  • 90+_Irishman90+_Irishman Posts: 12,409 ✭✭✭✭✭
    dr_frankenstein56:
    rsherman24:
    Awesome. May have to earn some of them just for the descriptions.
    I agree! Lets do it man! I can jump on the Nubber and LGC one for sure, but id really really like the Milf Badge.

    Aj
    You would, I say I've already earned my MILF badge, anyone on Vherf who's seen my wife would probably agree :P
    "When walking in open territory bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them."
  • dr_frankenstein56dr_frankenstein56 Posts: 1,612 ✭✭✭
    90+ Irishman:
    dr_frankenstein56:
    rsherman24:
    Awesome. May have to earn some of them just for the descriptions.
    I agree! Lets do it man! I can jump on the Nubber and LGC one for sure, but id really really like the Milf Badge.

    Aj
    You would, I say I've already earned my MILF badge, anyone on Vherf who's seen my wife would probably agree :P


    I take it you have a finely aged female, thus qualifying you for the badge! My lord and master is also of the finely aged breed, 10 years up on me. All the best things in life are aged, cigars, spirits, meat, and women!

    yum.... MILF..... makes downtown rather uppity.

    Aj.
  • 90+_Irishman90+_Irishman Posts: 12,409 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Well she is actually two months you get than me (both of us are 25) but she is the mother of my son so that makes her one fine-AZZ milf to me :D
    "When walking in open territory bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them."
  • beatnicbeatnic Posts: 4,133 ✭
    link

    still trying to figure out how to embed these things.
  • Bob_LukenBob_Luken Posts: 10,710 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I think you got it figured out pretty good.
  • 0patience0patience Posts: 10,665 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Marker:
    Camacho Man badge. Smoke one of every Camacho line in a day, while listening to The Village People.
    .
    When I think about you I Gurk myself badge. Smoke one Gurkha, doesn't matter which. This is a masochist badge.
    Shouldn't they both be considered a masochist badge?
    In Fumo Pax
    Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.

    Wylaff said:
    Atmospheric pressure and crap.
  • BigshizzaBigshizza Posts: 15,659 ✭✭✭✭✭
    OMG... That's a Fabulous list, thanks for that!
  • EchambersEchambers Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭✭✭
    How about the Acid Test: your choiceof one red, one blue, one purple, and one yellow from the Acid line?
    -- "There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go poke it with a stick."
  • bearbbearb Posts: 1,128 ✭✭✭
    Wonderful list!
  • Bob_LukenBob_Luken Posts: 10,710 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Echambers:
    How about the Acid Test: your choiceof one red, one blue, one purple, and one yellow from the Acid line?
    LOL Good one :)
  • MarkerMarker Posts: 2,524 ✭
    Echambers:
    How about the Acid Test: your choiceof one red, one blue, one purple, and one yellow from the Acid line?
    No one smokes those. The badge would never happen. Could line it up like this.

    Matrix Acid Trip badge. Smoke a blue label ACID. See where you end up. Pick up the phone. Smoke a red label ACID and come back to reality.
  • kaspera79kaspera79 Posts: 7,257 ✭✭✭
    What would you call the badge if you smoked a CAO Brazillia, America, and Italia, all in the same day.
    And, if you smoked a bunch of Black Pearls, you wouldn't get a badge but a Necklace.
  • 90+_Irishman90+_Irishman Posts: 12,409 ✭✭✭✭✭
    kaspera79:
    What would you call the badge if you smoked a CAO Brazillia, America, and Italia, all in the same day.
    And, if you smoked a bunch of Black Pearls, you wouldn't get a badge but a Necklace.
    LOL on the necklace! As for the CAO, I think we could call that the Round The World CAO Badge?
    "When walking in open territory bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them."
  • EchambersEchambers Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭✭✭
    In homage to the 82nd Airborne Infantry Division (the finest military division in the world) also know as the All American a Division how about
    1) Alec Bradley American Classic
    2) CAO American
    3) George Rico American Puro.
    the catch is that you have to smoke at least one of them from 1,200 feet with a 60lb pack on your lap.
    New boots, I suspect you might be the only one that understands the last part...
    -- "There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go poke it with a stick."
  • RainRain Posts: 8,958 ✭✭✭
    Echambers:
    In homage to the 82nd Airborne Infantry Division (the finest military division in the world) also know as the All American a Division how about
    1) Alec Bradley American Classic
    2) CAO American
    3) George Rico American Puro.
    the catch is that you have to smoke at least one of them from 1,200 feet with a 60lb pack on your lap.
    New boots, I suspect you might be the only one that understands the last part...
    You assume much ;). What about 3rd Infantry? That's right, ol Rock of the Marne. 303 MI BN? The most decorated military intelligence battalion in the army. 101st? "We didn't need saving" Band of Brothers. 'nuff said
  • EchambersEchambers Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Rain:
    Echambers:
    In homage to the 82nd Airborne Infantry Division (the finest military division in the world) also know as the All American a Division how about
    1) Alec Bradley American Classic
    2) CAO American
    3) George Rico American Puro.
    the catch is that you have to smoke at least one of them from 1,200 feet with a 60lb pack on your lap.
    New boots, I suspect you might be the only one that understands the last part...
    You assume much ;). What about 3rd Infantry? That's right, ol Rock of the Marne. 303 MI BN? The most decorated military intelligence battalion in the army. 101st? "We didn't need saving" Band of Brothers. 'nuff said
    Hmmm...I might have stayed quite until you got to the chickens on a string...oops, I mean the 101st :-)
    -- "There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go poke it with a stick."
  • RainRain Posts: 8,958 ✭✭✭
    I don't have a vested interest haha
  • EchambersEchambers Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Rain:
    I don't have a vested interest haha
    Nor do it really :-) There is a mathematical truism that says something like pride in service increase exponentially with age. And of course the sum of pride is always multiple by the difference in girth from present and the time one served.
    -- "There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go poke it with a stick."
  • 0patience0patience Posts: 10,665 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Echambers:
    Rain:
    I don't have a vested interest haha
    Nor do it really :-) There is a mathematical truism that says something like pride in service increase exponentially with age. And of course the sum of pride is always multiple by the difference in girth from present and the time one served.
    And the stories get bigger and more elaborate with age.
    In Fumo Pax
    Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.

    Wylaff said:
    Atmospheric pressure and crap.
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