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Worst Cigar Bar Ever

prosspross Posts: 874 ✭✭✭
in General Discussion
So last weekend I went to the local regional casino which was advertising a cigar bar.

We sit down and order a Padron 1964 off the "menu". When it was brought over it was literally crumbling apart on the bar it was so dry. We gave it back and went over to view the humi.

It was a large cabinet style with about 50 boxes in it. All cigars looked dry and cracked. I spotted a box of 64 maddies unopened with the cellophane still wrapped on it and took a chance. They were hard as a rock, but at least remained intact and smoked ok.

Glancing over to the bar I see boxes of misc smokes with "No Good" written on them. I started speaking to the manager and asked her if the cabinet was humidified to which she replied "I don't think so, it's new and we have no idea what we are doing". I was almost in tears. I had a strong urge to adopt the entire lot and save them from their abusive home and eventual death.

Funniest part, was there were so many massive ring gauge turds being smoked by the other gamblers, I felt like I was in the Harlem Globetrotters locker room. Everywhere i turned I was almost smacked with a 60 ringer jutting 8" out of an asshat's jaw.

At least I walked out even....

Comments

  • Gino USMCGino USMC Posts: 127
    Wow. That is a tragedy.
  • 90+_Irishman90+_Irishman Posts: 12,409 ✭✭✭✭✭
    No kidding, sorry to hear that Pross :(
    "When walking in open territory bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them."
  • New_BootsNew_Boots Posts: 2,651 ✭✭
    Offer your services my friend!
  • BigshizzaBigshizza Posts: 15,659 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Paul you must seek an excellent B & M for remedial counseling! Chin up bro
  • brianetz1brianetz1 Posts: 4,134 ✭✭✭
    New Boots:
    Offer your services my friend!
    sounds like a perfect opportunity to help them out in exchange for some future smokes......
  • Ken_LightKen_Light Posts: 3,537 ✭✭✭
    At least the manager admitted to having no idea what she's doing. I take that as a half-step better than the more dangerous idiots that call mold plume and such.
    ^Troll: DO NOT FEED.
  • Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat Posts: 8,802 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Makes you want to cry. I like the suggestions that you offer your services. You could lead them to Kuzi's info, bring them to a whole new level.

    Or

    It could just be fodder for my "how stupid are you?", if you invest the money for that kind of set-up with NO clue about what you're doing.

    of course, that wouldn't help, lead them Grasshopper, lead them to the light.
    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
  • 90+_Irishman90+_Irishman Posts: 12,409 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Amos Umwhat:
    Makes you want to cry. I like the suggestions that you offer your services. You could lead them to Kuzi's info, bring them to a whole new level.

    Or

    It could just be fodder for my "how stupid are you?", if you invest the money for that kind of set-up with NO clue about what you're doing.

    of course, that wouldn't help, lead them Grasshopper, lead them to the light.
    Other option is lead them to the water then hold their heads under the water for a few minutes for being such idiots. After that anger venting session then help lol.
    "When walking in open territory bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them."
  • macs-smokesmacs-smokes Posts: 587 ✭
    90+ Irishman:
    Other option is lead them to the water then hold their heads under the water for a few minutes for being such idiots. After that anger venting session then help lol.


    You are not talking about making sure that they quit bubbling prior to ending your rant are you?
  • 90+_Irishman90+_Irishman Posts: 12,409 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Hahahaa no no
    "When walking in open territory bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them."
  • WaltBasilWaltBasil Posts: 1,757 ✭✭✭
    macs-smokes:
    90+ Irishman:
    Other option is lead them to the water then hold their heads under the water for a few minutes for being such idiots. After that anger venting session then help lol.


    You are not talking about making sure that they quit bubbling prior to ending your rant are you?


    HEHEHE.... you wicked, wicked man...
  • YankeeManYankeeMan Posts: 2,654 ✭✭✭✭✭
    We have a local head shop that happens to have a small walk-in humidor. I would walk in and think I was walking into a steam bath. He had a beautiful box of Partigas Blacks with mold on them that was so thick, it was throbbing!

    Needless to say, I never bought anything there. I told him about it, but my Arabic sucks, so I guess he didn't understand me.

  • prosspross Posts: 874 ✭✭✭
    I don't claim to be an expert, but it really is amazing how clueless some sellers are.

  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    pross:
    I don't claim to be an expert, but it really is amazing how clueless some sellers are.

    Gotta take you to the Otter's Pocket. Talk about a steam bath.
    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
  • perkinkeperkinke Posts: 1,572 ✭✭✭
    There's a little mini-mart (I'd call it a bodega if my town wasn't as white as Vermont) that has a wall of cabinets. I asked to open it up to grab a stick, I don't remember what one, and it was so dry in there. I asked the clerk and his response was "Well, the owner doesn't want to spend the money and the frat boys are too stupid to know the difference and will buy them anyway." Guess that casino is on the same track.
  • Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat Posts: 8,802 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I have to say, this makes me appreciate our little gas-station/restaurant/bait shop/deer check in station/we've got a humidor. It was kind of funny, when they first started selling cigars, they had some problems, but one of the women who worked there seemed to know her stuff. I started buying some cigars there from time to time after I saw they'd installed humidification, and that she was always checking it, adjusting, re-checking etc.

    They sell Cohiba's, Partagas, Punch, Hoyo's, some Camachos, a couple others. The first time I bought some, this woman pulls out a zip-lock without being asked, then she stopped before she handed them to me, and said; "OK. You're not going to put these on the dashboard of your truck, or stick 'em in the glove box for storage or something, are you?" I laughed and told her that no, in about 20 minutes they'll be in my humidor, safe and sound. Then she handed them to me and rang up the sale. Bless her. I'm lucky.
    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Dang, Amos! That sounds like my kinda place!

    Hey, I hope to transit Tennessee next Spring riding the Trans America Trail. Gimme the location of your little gas-station/restaurant/bait shop/deer check in station/we've got a humidor and I'll make it a point to drop in and flirt with the gal and maybe even pick up a couple of her sticks. My present plan, subject to much change, is to ride the slab out to Taos NM area, then take the TransAm Trail backwards and wrap it up by riding the Blue Ridge home. There's a couple of super fine motorcycle camp grounds along the BRP which Johnny Sotweedseed is apt to frequent. By the time I hit TN, Johnny will need new ammo for his adventures anyways.

    Shoot me a location for this store.

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
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