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Slip of the tongue

In between finishing up my class load and taking exams I have been run some errands. My in law's have been making a holiday treat for over 50 years. It is a hand made chocolate peanut butter ball and they are addicting. So my wife asked me to take some to our new friend at the Chamber of Commerce, she is a real sweet heart. To be careful I always ask is people are allergic to peanuts, well here is the slip, I asked her if she was allergic to ****, yes looking this little cutie in the eye, I said **** not peanut. To save me she said " I'm not allergic to either" smiled,gave me a hug and said thank you. I just walked out and laughed my a$$ off.

Comments

  • Ken_LightKen_Light Posts: 3,539 ✭✭✭
    So........







    ....didja get the digits? :D
    ^Troll: DO NOT FEED.
  • curtpickcurtpick nunyobusynezPosts: 2,761 ✭✭✭
    ROTFLMAO ! As Ken said !..... WELL ?????
    Family, Friends, Golf, Cigars, Fine Whiskey, Good beer.... is there anything else ?  Follow on instagram @crguy1961
  • New_BootsNew_Boots Posts: 2,652 ✭✭
    Tyland64:
    In between finishing up my class load and taking exams I have been run some errands. My in law's have been making a holiday treat for over 50 years. It is a hand made chocolate peanut butter ball and they are addicting. So my wife asked me to take some to our new friend at the Chamber of Commerce, she is a real sweet heart. To be careful I always ask is people are allergic to peanuts, well here is the slip, I asked her if she was allergic to ****, yes looking this little cutie in the eye, I said **** not peanut. To save me she said " I'm not allergic to either" smiled,gave me a hug and said thank you. I just walked out and laughed my a$$ off.
    The proper response would be - "Care to prove it?"
  • 0patience0patience Oregon CoastPosts: 9,706 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Wife and were at a restaurant sometime back and I wanted a burger and fries. The waitress asked for our order and I promptly ordered a burger and a side of thighs. Waitress laughed, momma didn't. Sometimes the wife has no sense of humor.
    In Fumo Pax
    Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.

    Wylaff said:
    Atmospheric pressure and crap.
  • WaltBasilWaltBasil El Paso, TX Posts: 1,757 ✭✭✭
    Tyland64:
    In between finishing up my class load and taking exams I have been run some errands. My in law's have been making a holiday treat for over 50 years. It is a hand made chocolate peanut butter ball and they are addicting. So my wife asked me to take some to our new friend at the Chamber of Commerce, she is a real sweet heart. To be careful I always ask is people are allergic to peanuts, well here is the slip, I asked her if she was allergic to ****, yes looking this little cutie in the eye, I said **** not peanut. To save me she said " I'm not allergic to either" smiled,gave me a hug and said thank you. I just walked out and laughed my a$$ off.
    Reminds me of this joke.

    2 guys sitting at starbucks. Waitress is a well-endowed blond. She asks what they would like. First guys says "I'd like a mocha please." 2nd guys says "I'd just like a cup of t!ts please." She says, "Excuse me?" "I'm so sorry," he replies, "I meant tea! A cup of tea please!" She leaves to get their drinks.

    1st guy looks to the 2nd and says "Wow... Freudian slip ay?" 2nd says "What's that?" "That's where you mean to say one thing, but something else is on your mind, and you say that instead," replied 1st guy.

    2nd guys says "Yes! That's exactly what happened. In fact, I had one of those this morning. I walked down the stairs into the kitchen and saw my lovely wife in there, cooking my breakfast, smiling at me. I meant to say 'I love you, baby, you're the best!' but instead I said 'I hate you B#tch, you ruined my life!'"

  • webmostwebmost Dull-AwarePosts: 6,638 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Yabbut... how does she feel about nuts?
    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • MorganGeoMorganGeo Brandon, MSPosts: 2,240 ✭✭✭✭✭
    WaltBasil:
    Tyland64:
    In between finishing up my class load and taking exams I have been run some errands. My in law's have been making a holiday treat for over 50 years. It is a hand made chocolate peanut butter ball and they are addicting. So my wife asked me to take some to our new friend at the Chamber of Commerce, she is a real sweet heart. To be careful I always ask is people are allergic to peanuts, well here is the slip, I asked her if she was allergic to ****, yes looking this little cutie in the eye, I said **** not peanut. To save me she said " I'm not allergic to either" smiled,gave me a hug and said thank you. I just walked out and laughed my a$$ off.
    Reminds me of this joke.

    2 guys sitting at starbucks. Waitress is a well-endowed blond. She asks what they would like. First guys says "I'd like a mocha please." 2nd guys says "I'd just like a cup of t!ts please." She says, "Excuse me?" "I'm so sorry," he replies, "I meant tea! A cup of tea please!" She leaves to get their drinks.

    1st guy looks to the 2nd and says "Wow... Freudian slip ay?" 2nd says "What's that?" "That's where you mean to say one thing, but something else is on your mind, and you say that instead," replied 1st guy.

    2nd guys says "Yes! That's exactly what happened. In fact, I had one of those this morning. I walked down the stairs into the kitchen and saw my lovely wife in there, cooking my breakfast, smiling at me. I meant to say 'I love you, baby, you're the best!' but instead I said 'I hate you B#tch, you ruined my life!'"

    HAHAHA! Too funny!!
  • Tyland64Tyland64 Posts: 716
    Ken Light:
    So........







    ....didja get the digits? :D
    No digits, not bragging but my wife is 13 years younger than me just saying
  • WaltBasilWaltBasil El Paso, TX Posts: 1,757 ✭✭✭
    Tyland64:
    Ken Light:
    So........







    ....didja get the digits? :D
    No digits, not bragging but my wife is 13 years younger than me just saying
    Well that's certainly something to brag about!! Wait... Unless... you're like... 25?
  • New_BootsNew_Boots Posts: 2,652 ✭✭
    WaltBasil:
    Tyland64:
    Ken Light:
    So ........







    ....didja get the digits? :D
    No digits, not bragging but my wife is 13 years younger than me just saying
    Well that's certainly something to brag about!! Wait... Unless... you're like... 25?
    Yeah, I think he's going to have to be 31+ for this to not be creepy
  • Tyland64Tyland64 Posts: 716
    New Boots:
    WaltBasil:
    Tyland64:
    Ken Light:
    So ........







    ....didja get the digits? :D
    No digits, not bragging but my wife is 13 years younger than me just saying
    Well that's certainly something to brag about!! Wait... Unless... you're like... 25?
    Yeah, I think he's going to have to be 31+ for this to not be creepy
    LMAO not creepy, she's in her mid 30's and I'm in my late 40's. you guys are hilarious. I needed this distraction. Two more exams and done until January.
  • SasquatchSasquatch Posts: 285 ✭✭✭
    He does drive a van with free candy painted on the side. :)
  • Tyland64Tyland64 Posts: 716
    Sasquatch:
    He does drive a van with free candy painted on the side. :)
    Lol sick man. I sold the van lol.....
  • BigshizzaBigshizza Posts: 15,452 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Awesome story! I just finished my quarter! You can do it!
  • kingjk729kingjk729 Posts: 2,580 ✭✭✭
    Tyland64:
    Sasquatch:
    He does drive a van with free candy painted on the side. :)
    Lol sick man. I sold the van lol.....
    Yea NY refused to allow him into the state unless he left the van in Michigan and agreed to not purchase any vans in NY.
  • Tyland64Tyland64 Posts: 716
    kingjk729:
    Tyland64:
    Sasquatch:
    He does drive a van with free candy painted on the side. :)
    Lol sick man. I sold the van lol.....
    Yea NY refused to allow him into the state unless he left the van in Michigan and agreed to not purchase any vans in NY.
    Your not suppose to tell anyone lol......
  • perkinkeperkinke Posts: 1,575 ✭✭✭
    0patience:
    Wife and were at a restaurant sometime back and I wanted a burger and fries. The waitress asked for our order and I promptly ordered a burger and a side of thighs. Waitress laughed, momma didn't. Sometimes the wife has no sense of humor.
    I did something similar at a bar i worked at in college with a new bartender. Ordered a burger and when she asked me what kind of cheese I said "sweater, er, uh, cheddar." My girlfriend laughed her butt off.
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