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Best man speech...

LiquidChaos66LiquidChaos66 OregonPosts: 3,767 ✭✭✭✭
I have to do one for my brothers wedding. I've made 2 speeches before and always use an Irish or Scottish blessing at the end. My issue is I don't know what to put into the rest of the speech. I know almost nothing about the bride... The stuff that comes up on google is all the same stuff just reiterated differently. Advice?
Life is like a blind fiver. You never know what you're gonna get.

Comments

  • RainRain Posts: 8,960 ✭✭✭
    I'd keep it short and use a good joke.
  • perkinkeperkinke Posts: 1,575 ✭✭✭
    Rain:
    I'd keep it short and use a good joke.
    Agreed. The last time I did one was the wedding was the third time I'd met the bride. It's okay for it to focus on your brother, the rest is all about the bride. :) I think I opened with a traditional line like "I"ve known this guy for 30 years and dating and marrying her is the first smart decision he's made since he stopped dressing like Run DMC in jr high. Her decision making, however..." The hooker stories can wait for the 25th anniversary. ;)
  • Puff_DougiePuff_Dougie Mr. Rogers NeighborhoodPosts: 4,601 ✭✭✭✭✭
    perkinke:
    Rain:
    I'd keep it short and use a good joke.
    Agreed. The last time I did one was the wedding was the third time I'd met the bride. It's okay for it to focus on your brother, the rest is all about the bride. :) I think I opened with a traditional line like "I"ve known this guy for 30 years and dating and marrying her is the first smart decision he's made since he stopped dressing like Run DMC in jr high. Her decision making, however..." The hooker stories can wait for the 25th anniversary. ;)
    That's beautiful! LOL! Picturing your bro in an Adidas track suit and no laces in his sneakers!

    I agree. Don't force something about the bride if you don't know her. Focus on him and tell a couple of funny stories, then talk about how great it is that they found eachother and toast to their happiness. Donesies!
    "When I have found intense pain relieved, a weary brain soothed, and calm, refreshing sleep obtained by a cigar, I have felt grateful to God, and have blessed His name." - Charles Haddon Spurgeon
  • brianetz1brianetz1 St. Louis, MOPosts: 4,135 ✭✭✭
    Totally agree with the other guys.....doing that in May, and I have known the bride through the whole relationship, but my speech will be 90% about him.
  • jd50aejd50ae West Gnawed Pencil, TNPosts: 7,934 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Can't talk him out of it I guess..?

  • prosspross Posts: 874 ✭✭✭
    They always say to picture the audience with no pants to keep away nerves. I have always found that giving the speech wearing no pants works just as well.....just my $.02

  • EchambersEchambers B'Ham Posts: 4,178 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I've been in a similar situation and called the brides maid of honor and asked her to share something interesting about the bride. It was nice because it was a surprise to the bride who had "how the hell did he find that out" kind of look on her face.
    -- "There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go poke it with a stick."
  • perkinkeperkinke Posts: 1,575 ✭✭✭
    jd50ae:
    Can't talk him out of it I guess..?
    Hehe, when i was my brother's best man while we were standing up at the altar waiting for the shindig to kick off I slipped him a passport and an empty airline ticket envelope just in case he wanted to make a run for it. Made him laugh and loosened him up until the "I do" part when he drew a blank and had to be prompted by the preacher and me. Glad he didn't back out, 'cause these days I like his wife better than I like him! ;)
  • Lee.mcglynnLee.mcglynn HahahahaaaaaPosts: 6,030 ✭✭✭✭
    If you want too be somewhat of a a$$ you can always turn things around and list things you can't understand why she loves him...usually works
    Money can't buy taste
  • flowbeeflowbee Posts: 1,134 ✭✭✭
    I started out with a nice intro about my future sis in law, by welcoming her to the family and saying," it makes me happy to see my brother happy" and then I let my brother have it. I gave her a 10 second intro and 99% went to my main man!! It worked well, I didn't know her, and I wasn't gonna kiss her ass until I knew her. He was happy, she was happy, and it worked fine. Make your brother feel happy man, the rest gets better after a few bourbons!!
  • LiquidChaos66LiquidChaos66 OregonPosts: 3,767 ✭✭✭✭
    All great advice! That's guys! :) I'm horrible at memorizing stuff. Hopefully I can pull it off without looking like a goon. Lol
    Life is like a blind fiver. You never know what you're gonna get.
  • If you want to say something about her too, just say you can't picture him with anyone better than "her name" or something like that. Good luck and have fun.
  • LiquidChaos66LiquidChaos66 OregonPosts: 3,767 ✭✭✭✭
    james40:
    If you want to say something about her too, just say you can't picture him with anyone better than "her name" or something like that. Good luck and have fun.


    but I can imagine him with someone better!!!! Lol
    Life is like a blind fiver. You never know what you're gonna get.
  • Puff_DougiePuff_Dougie Mr. Rogers NeighborhoodPosts: 4,601 ✭✭✭✭✭
    LiquidChaos66:
    james40:
    If you want to say something about her too, just say you can't picture him with anyone better than "her name" or something like that. Good luck and have fun.


    but I can imagine him with someone better!!!! Lol
    Um... yeah... pretty sure you shouldn't say that out loud at the reception. ROFL!!
    "When I have found intense pain relieved, a weary brain soothed, and calm, refreshing sleep obtained by a cigar, I have felt grateful to God, and have blessed His name." - Charles Haddon Spurgeon
  • 0patience0patience Oregon CoastPosts: 9,961 ✭✭✭✭✭
    You say what I said.
    "This is my brother and this is his wife. What they are doing together, I have no idea."
    Let them all interpret it how they want. LOL!
    In Fumo Pax
    Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.

    Wylaff said:
    Atmospheric pressure and crap.
  • perkinkeperkinke Posts: 1,575 ✭✭✭
    0patience:
    You say what I said.
    "This is my brother and this is his wife. What they are doing together, I have no idea."
    Let them all interpret it how they want. LOL!
    "And what they're gonna do later, i don't WANT to know..." ;)
  • kuzi16kuzi16 Posts: 14,633 ✭✭✭✭
    Rain:
    I'd keep it short and use a good joke.
    Method no 1: stand up.
    "it is traditional for a best man to give a a speech only as long as the groom is expected to last in bed on his wedding night."
    sit down.


    method 2:
    go on and on about how wonderful of a man the groom is and how many women are sad that he is no off the market. how lucky the bride is. wish the bride and groom well. toast to them.
    then as a side note just after the toast say "since he is off the market, would anybody who has a key to his place please drop it off now" and place a jar down in front of you.

    just make sure you distribute keys to every woman in the room ahead of time and explain to them what is going on. ... and maybe one or two guys...
  • jd50aejd50ae West Gnawed Pencil, TNPosts: 7,934 ✭✭✭✭✭
    kuzi16:
    Rain:
    I'd keep it short and use a good joke.
    Method no 1: stand up.
    "it is traditional for a best man to give a a speech only as long as the groom is expected to last in bed on his wedding night."
    sit down.


    method 2:
    go on and on about how wonderful of a man the groom is and how many women are sad that he is no off the market. how lucky the bride is. wish the bride and groom well. toast to them.
    then as a side note just after the toast say "since he is off the market, would anybody who has a key to his place please drop it off now" and place a jar down in front of you.

    just make sure you distribute keys to every woman in the room ahead of time and explain to them what is going on. ... and maybe one or two guys...


    And you could set it up by giving out keys to a bunch of women, and give one to the oldest lady that will attend and tell her to be last.

  • twistedstemtwistedstem jacksonville floridaPosts: 3,866 ✭✭✭✭✭
    kuzi16:
    Rain:
    I'd keep it short and use a good joke.
    Method no 1: stand up.
    "it is traditional for a best man to give a a speech only as long as the groom is expected to last in bed on his wedding night."
    sit down.


    method 2:
    go on and on about how wonderful of a man the groom is and how many women are sad that he is no off the market. how lucky the bride is. wish the bride and groom well. toast to them.
    then as a side note just after the toast say "since he is off the market, would anybody who has a key to his place please drop it off now" and place a jar down in front of you.

    just make sure you distribute keys to every woman in the room ahead of time and explain to them what is going on. ... and maybe one or two guys...
    Love this,wish I still had some single friends so I had a shot at using it!!!! Good one kuzi!!
    For a moment i dont even care.. Until i feel its hand on my neck

  • jd50aejd50ae West Gnawed Pencil, TNPosts: 7,934 ✭✭✭✭✭
    kuzi16:
    Rain:
    I'd keep it short and use a good joke.
    Method no 1: stand up.
    "it is traditional for a best man to give a a speech only as long as the groom is expected to last in bed on his wedding night."
    sit down.


    method 2:
    go on and on about how wonderful of a man the groom is and how many women are sad that he is no off the market. how lucky the bride is. wish the bride and groom well. toast to them.
    then as a side note just after the toast say "since he is off the market, would anybody who has a key to his place please drop it off now" and place a jar down in front of you.

    just make sure you distribute keys to every woman in the room ahead of time and explain to them what is going on. ... and maybe one or two guys...


    Sorry, did not mean to double post the same idea.

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