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Contest: For my mom

BigshizzaBigshizza Posts: 15,659 ✭✭✭✭✭
If you remember the great contest Royln had for his father, I have asked his permission to copy and got the o.k. So, my mother was born February 8th 1928. She grew up in New Jersey and then Pennsylvania and graduated with a degree in social work from Westminster University. She worked in the early 1950's in Los Angeles with pregnant unwed teen mothers. She was a trailblazer, strong willed and passionate about helping people. She eventually went to work assisting Downs Syndrome children, severely disabled children and disabled adults. Many Thanksgivings were spent with a client she brought home, helping us to accept others that were different than we were.
I am the oldest of 3 and presently I am the same age she was when she got cancer. At the time, I was 21 my brother was 19 and sister was 17. First it was *** cancer then became pancreatic and she died at home on June 23 1983. She was a single mother of three for many years and worked 2 jobs to support us. She's my hero, has been and always will be.
Now onto the contest: It will run until January 15th. Please submit through PM...how your mother effected your life. They will be judged by my wife and I. If you don't want it posted on here, please let me know. There will be a nice thank-you to the winner. Thanks for participating!!
Lois Anne Tellin Scott
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Comments

  • Glock1975Glock1975 Posts: 5,152 ✭✭✭✭✭
    So freaking amazing bro, I guess we now see where your kindness comes from. Love ya Bro.
  • thehilkthehilk Posts: 1,108 ✭✭✭
    Glock, u took the words right out of my mouth. What a great history of your mothers life. I can indeed see where the selflessness of Shizz was molded from!
  • Chuck_NChuck_N Posts: 1,088 ✭✭✭
    My mother died from Alzhiemers 4 years ago. She meant the world to me. Still too tragic and painful to post the whole story here for me. Your story brought tears to my eyes.
  • smoke_em_if_you_got_emsmoke_em_if_you_got_em Posts: 4,992 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Jim...there was no reason for you to ask my permisson for your contest. But after reading your post...i realize why you asked....You asked because that is the type of person you are and we now all know where all your great shizzness comes from. Love you slim Jim.
  • matkn293matkn293 Posts: 3,565 ✭✭✭✭✭
    It is certainly easy to see where the kindness and the selflessness comes from Jim. The inspiration that others derive from you originates with this great Woman! What a wonderful story/tribute, thank you for sharing. Great way to start the day by reading that.

    Life is too short to smoke bad cigars!!!

    Oh when the Blues, Oh when the Blues, Oh when the Blues go marching in!


  • The_KidThe_Kid Posts: 7,869 ✭✭✭
    Amazing Jim, You were blessed to have such a wonderful Mom! Touching story.
    I think most here know I too lost my mom to cancer a few years ago, actually it will be 5 years in a few days. I dont think a day goes by where I dont think of her.
  • Puff_DougiePuff_Dougie Posts: 4,599 ✭✭✭✭✭
    What a blessing to read your mom's history, Jim. A life lived in dedication to serving others is becoming more and more rare, which makes it all the more beautiful when it is seen. As others have said, it is not difficult to see how her example of selflessness rubbed off on her children. God bless you, brother!
    "When I have found intense pain relieved, a weary brain soothed, and calm, refreshing sleep obtained by a cigar, I have felt grateful to God, and have blessed His name." - Charles Haddon Spurgeon
  • C-LOVEC-LOVE Posts: 1,407 ✭✭✭
    Very touching post Jim, I feel your pain bro. As you know I lost my Mother to Cancer 6 yrs ago and we are just finishing the time of year where it hurts the most. I think about my Mother everyday and I don't think that will ever stop, it's been 6yrs. Anyway wanted to remind you you're not alone, love ya bro!
  • MartelMartel Posts: 3,306 ✭✭✭✭
    Nice, Jim. A good mom is really special. My wife grew up without one and a succession of bad step-moms. Grateful to have mine around, still.
    Intelligence is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

    I like Oliva and Quesada (including Regius) a lot.  I will smoke anything, though.
  • 90+_Irishman90+_Irishman Posts: 12,409 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Wonderful post about an amazing woman Jim, I have no doubt she would be proud of the man you are and her character and spirit shows every day in your actions and words brother. Thanks for sharing!!
    "When walking in open territory bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them."
  • BigshizzaBigshizza Posts: 15,659 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Very nice entries thus far... Let's keep them rollin
  • BigshizzaBigshizza Posts: 15,659 ✭✭✭✭✭
    90+ Irishman:
    Wonderful post about an amazing woman Jim, I have no doubt she would be proud of the man you are and her character and spirit shows every day in your actions and words brother. Thanks for sharing!!
    Thanks man... Yeah this long and I'm starting to have a hard time with memories... I know I wasn't the easiest kid but she always made it to my football and baseball games. Which was huge at the time!
  • jimmyv723jimmyv723 Posts: 1,858 ✭✭✭
    You can tell she was a great woman just from the way you turned out Jim. Of course most Jim's are pretty awesome anyway haha...
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  • jliujliu Posts: 7,735 ✭✭✭✭
    your mom has way better skin than you. looks like you skipped out on all edamame served to you.
  • BigshizzaBigshizza Posts: 15,659 ✭✭✭✭✭
    jliu:
    your mom has way better skin than you. looks like you skipped out on all edamame served to you.
    True
  • curtpickcurtpick Posts: 2,757 ✭✭✭
    Where do I start ?
    At an early age I realized I was in for a wild ride.
    My Dad was an alcoholic and my Mom had serious mental illness.
    My Mother in so much that she was violent to the point she beat us kids, not knowing any better.
    I remember thinking , why me, why my Mother.
    She went through some medical therapy, once she was committed, but neither helped.
    Now I realized why My Father was a drunk, he was self medicating just to try to make the family work somehow.
    I didnt realize just how much he loved her until later in my life.
    From Mom, there was never any real love.
    She just out the the blue would blow up and get mean and began talking and screaming to people that were not there.
    I left home at 13 just to get out of the madness.
    Years passed , I was in my 30's now.
    I got a call that Mom had been to the hospital because of bad headaches.
    The diagnosis was a cancerous tumor,it was not curable .
    They opted for surgery and she came out of it reasonably well considering.
    Then something amazing happened.
    She began to smile, laugh, and become this person I wished I had as a kid.
    I spent more time wife my mother over the next 6 months than anytime in my life.
    What a gentle spirit she now was.
    I now knew the real mother I never had.
    Then again the phone call.
    I remember going to the hospital and she was lying on the table in the ER.
    There she laid, with this big smile on her face as if to say, I'm now at peace with everything.
    So heres to all the Mothers and to a Mothers love.
    It was the best 6 months of my life !
    Jim, you were very lucky to have such a great Mother !
    I can see your making her proud all the time with your big old heart !
    And thanks everyone for letting me share, had to back out a few times while writing.
    Thanks for sharing !
    Family, Friends, Golf, Cigars, Fine Whiskey, Good beer.... is there anything else ?  Follow on instagram @crguy1961
  • BigshizzaBigshizza Posts: 15,659 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Thanks Curt, very moving....
  • Puff_DougiePuff_Dougie Posts: 4,599 ✭✭✭✭✭
    What an amazing journey with your mom, Curt. Thank you for sharing that with us.
    "When I have found intense pain relieved, a weary brain soothed, and calm, refreshing sleep obtained by a cigar, I have felt grateful to God, and have blessed His name." - Charles Haddon Spurgeon
  • RainRain Posts: 8,958 ✭✭✭
    Can't choose your family like you can your friends, right? My mother...is one of the most vindictive, spiteful and cruel people you could ever meet. She's a liar, a cheat, a drunk and a dishonest person. She had so many problems that my step dad took myself and my half sister away from her, and told her if she ever tried to get custody he would destroy her in court. Three cheers for a man that raised two kids while working a full time job.My shining example is my wife. She is the gold standard for what a mother should be. She works full time, takes the kids to school, picks them up and goes without just so our kids can get a silly toy they want. You know what she asked for this Christmas? A new pair of work shoes. She is an inspiration to me about what a parent and mother should be. She raised the kids for a year while I was deployed, and withstood the venom I sent her way because I was young, foolish and stressed out from being in a country that gave two f***s about Americans.My wife puts up with me...could there be any harder task? So here is to the mother of my children, the gold standard of what a mother should be...and to my mother, whom will never meet my wife, see her grand kids or realize what she is missing. I now have a step daughter of my own. When I think to my wife, my mom and how my step dad raised me, I know it makes me a better parent. When she calls me dad, I know I'm doing a good job because of how I was raised and the example my wife is every day.imageimageimage
  • ejgormanejgorman Posts: 1,114 ✭✭✭
    I can only second what's been said about your mother's influence on you Jim. It explains a lot.
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  • BigshizzaBigshizza Posts: 15,659 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Randy it was her loss! Great looking family!
  • BigshizzaBigshizza Posts: 15,659 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Bump...another 6 days to enter
  • BigshizzaBigshizza Posts: 15,659 ✭✭✭✭✭
    The results will be known next week... Was hoping for more but no matter. My thanks to those that participated!!
  • EchambersEchambers Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I'm 48 years old and I still haven't come to terms with my relationship with my mom. Indeed, I don't even know how to characterize it. She is just sort of there. I love her, to be sure, but she has neither a positive nor negative impact on me. She is just there.

    My grandma, on the other hand, who actually raised me as an adolescent, taught me most of what I know as a human being. Here are some of the things she taught me:

    She taught me to cook. To make tea. To mix a mean vodka gimlet.

    She taught me that integrity is much more than a virtue but necessity.

    She taught me that that empty part of my soul that I tried my best to ignore most of my life was shaped just like God; and she taught me that only God could fill it.

    She taught me, contrary to popular opinion, that respect is not something you earn but something that every living being is endowed with at birth.

    She taught me to have faith in myself and in others.

    She taught me that no matter how hard I tried to screw up my life there would always be at least one person who would continue to love me unconditionally.

    She taught me that love is a verb. It’s not something your “in”, or you “have”, its something you do.

    She taught me that you don’t need to travel to world to find beauty, you just have to open your eyes.

    She taught me forgiveness.

    She taught me to hug. Not that stiff armed, pat-on-the-back kind of hug that reeks of discomfort but the kind of hug that requires a commitment. The kind where you melt into one another and, at least for a moment, become one, in love.

    She taught me to swear: *** and damn mostly, not any of the really bad words.

    She taught me compassion and to care about others whether they lived across the street or across the world.

    She taught me what Luciano De Crescenzo meant when he said “We are, each of us, angels with one wing and we can only fly by embracing one another.”

    She taught me that I needn’t be ashamed of things that I couldn’t control.

    She taught me to live with grace and in the end, the consummate teacher that she was, she taught me to die with grace.

    She taught me to honor the living and she taught me to honor the dead.

    She taught me the importance of family.

    She taught me, by her example, what it means to aspire and achieve greatness of character. A decade ago I had the chance to meet Archbishop Desmond Tutu who was introduced as one of the great men of the century for his role in ending Apartheid in South Africa. As he took the podium he responded to his introduction with a kind of honesty and humility too rare today, with these words (borrowed, I think from Mother Theresa:

    “Please don’t call me a great man. The great men and women of the world are not those who do a few great things in their lifetime. The great men and women [and here is where was talking about my grandmother] are those that do everyday things with a great amount of love.”

    My grandmother died 8 years ago, two days after my 40th birthday. I had planned on taking my birthday off anyway but when I heard she had a stroke the night before I drove down to spend the day with her. At not even 5 feet tall she was the biggest person I ever met but today she looked so small, in her hospital bed, and a little scared. Someone told her it was my birthday so she sang "Happy Birthday" to me one last time.

    I was lucky in so many ways because I got to say goodbye to her. But birthdays nowadays? Meh....
    -- "There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go poke it with a stick."
  • 0patience0patience Posts: 10,665 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Interesting that Randy and I have something in common.

    For years, my brothers, sisters and I thought the movie "Mommy Dearest" was a documentary about our mother.
    When she was sober, she was vicious, when she was drunk, she was evil and vicious.
    When she was dying, I kept my brothers and sisters out of it, to protect them from her.
    For those with caring mothers, appreciate it them.
    My wife is a great mother to our boys.
    In Fumo Pax
    Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.

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    Atmospheric pressure and crap.
  • Glock1975Glock1975 Posts: 5,152 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I would, but I can't compete with some of these stories. I like Randy's, just my 2 cents. But enjoyed reading all of them and getting to know a little more about you guys.
  • 90+_Irishman90+_Irishman Posts: 12,409 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Thanks to all who shared, I tried to put pen to paper to share about my own but I just couldn't do the woman justice and never liked what I got out enough to share, she is an amazing woman who was one of the biggest influences in the type of man I ended up becoming and the greatest thanks I will ever be able to offer her is by living the best life and way I know how for her and Pops. Thanks for hose who did share and some amazing stories really :)
    "When walking in open territory bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them."
  • RainRain Posts: 8,958 ✭✭✭
    Despite what it looks like, I am NOT about to shoot my daughter.
  • brianetz1brianetz1 Posts: 4,134 ✭✭✭
    Rain:
    Despite what it looks like, I am NOT about to shoot my daughter.
    i really wanted to quote that and give it a caption, but refrained because of how heartwarming your story is........but next time you post a picture where it looks like you are about ready to shoot one of your kids for acting up at an assembly you better believe that i am going to post something like "you better stop crying or i am going to give you a damn reason to cry" under a photo like that.
  • 90+_Irishman90+_Irishman Posts: 12,409 ✭✭✭✭✭
    brianetz1:
    Rain:
    Despite what it looks like, I am NOT about to shoot my daughter.
    i really wanted to quote that and give it a caption, but refrained because of how heartwarming your story is........but next time you post a picture where it looks like you are about ready to shoot one of your kids for acting up at an assembly you better believe that i am going to post something like "you better stop crying or i am going to give you a damn reason to cry" under a photo like that.
    Corporal punishment for the win!
    "When walking in open territory bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them."
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