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Need some help/FML/Eff me in the A

RainRain Posts: 8,958 ✭✭✭
So...long story. Buckle up, grab a drink and listen up. My wife's cousin is a 20 year old female who works two jobs and goes to school full time to become a nurse. She was dating a man who abused her, but she never left because she felt she had nowhere to go.My wife and I invited her in to our home. Well, her ex boyfriend is crazy. I don't mean that in a figurative sense, he might literally have some mental problems.A few months ago, they bought a car together, with her as the primary owner and him as the secondary. After she left, he went out and bought a gun. He followed her home from work at midnight to our new house, approached her car and began to beat on the windows and rip off the door handles. She called the police instead of me, and they came and placed a protective order on her and the house. They also stipulated that he can not own a gun. Can't charge him with car damage since he is on the title.The next day he came and took the car. There was a 15 minute window the entire day that I was gone and that said cousin got home. Which means he was watching my house. Police say yeah he has it, but maybe he had a friend come get it.A week later, we're driving to get her W2s and she sees her car at a dealership. We approach, hoping we can take it and go. He's in the car. She starts taking her personal belongings from their car and he pushes her, so I pushed him. Well, he fell back in to a steel pole and a car, so he calls the police. The police talk to us all and arrest him by order of the DA, presumably because even though we approached him unknowingly he should not have pushed her. As I type this, he has been in jail two days.We can not find anyway to take him off the title. As primary, it's up to her to pay insurance. If she cancels it and he wrecks it, they'll go after her. If she surrenders it, he can still go get it and we're back in the same boat. They still want payment and he can still go get it.Thoughts? Sympathy? I feel so damn bad for her, it's like there is no way for her to get away from him.
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Comments

  • roland_7707roland_7707 Posts: 2,833 ✭✭✭
    Open gas cap, insert rag, light, walk away.

    I have no help to offer bub, but Ill be praying that this some how gets resolved quick.
    One God, One Truth
  • RainRain Posts: 8,958 ✭✭✭
    The sad thing is, that seems like the best damn option.
  • J.S.J.S. Posts: 754
    Man, that is rough. If she cannot trade it or sell it, not having better options I would stop paying on it. Keep the insurance up until they repo it? I bet even if he wanted it then, knowing he would have to foot the payments and penalties up to that point he would just let it go. Not really much better of an option but at 20 she can recover her credit rating and still be okay.
  • RainRain Posts: 8,958 ✭✭✭
    As of this very moment, it's in my garage. After he got arrested, she paid about $300 for a set of keys and drove it here. He can't enter my property (legally, anyways) and it's in a locked garage...so if it goes missing they broke in to my property to get it. We're at three people (me, wife, her) and two cars (mine and wifes). She could let it get repo, but she called and asked about that and was told that she still owes on it. Also, if she has no car...she can't work or go to school. I'm wondering about getting the locks redone...she's an attractive 20 y/o female. "Oh Mr Dealer, someone stole my spare keys, and I do declare that I worry about it. If we could just change the locks I'd be ever so grateful..."
  • J.S.J.S. Posts: 754
    Brother, as Sherlock Holmes said, I think this is a 3 pipe problem!

    If she lets it go should could put back the monthly payments and once they take it she could buy a old clunker with what she had put back to get to and from but still far from great. Better options have to be available.
  • RainRain Posts: 8,958 ✭✭✭
    Oh, I agree on the clunker...in fact I brought it up tonight. Still leaves her a useless car that shes paying for plus insurance...but freak. What if he damages the new car? Still have to prove it was him...cops have shown that if you don't have a photo of the crime and a confession letter then they want to play the what if game. Would be a good time for my pipe...IF HER DAMN CAR WAS NOT IN MY MAN CAVE GARAGE. Rawr.He's such a punk...wish he'd come over here and settle this like men. Who gets pushed and calls the cops? Him. He's like 5'9 175 and I'm 6'2 240. Hope he has another good night in jail...
  • onestrangeoneonestrangeone Austin, TxPosts: 2,441 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Damn bro that sucks, I'm not sure but the best option might be to give it back to the dealer and take the loss and credit hit. Or it can be rekeyed ignition and doors a mechanic can do this, I do have one here in town that can take care of it if you don't know someone.
  • J.S.J.S. Posts: 754
    Agreed. He needs to be there. Just be careful when he gets out. If he will call them at the drop of a hat the last thing you need is to have an overnight visit too.
  • J.S.J.S. Posts: 754
    onestrangeone:
    Damn bro that sucks, I'm not sure but the best option might be to give it back to the dealer and take the loss and credit hit. Or it can be rekeyed ignition and doors a mechanic can do this, I do have one here in town that can take care of it if you don't know someone.
    That sounds like a winner of an idea.
  • RainRain Posts: 8,958 ✭✭✭
    From what she said, just because she gives it to the dealer...that does not take her off the hook for owing on it and damages (IE insurance.) Plus he can just go pay some cash and get it back.For sure, I'm not trying to go to jail either. I was safe last time because since he pushed her first, I was defending her. Takes a big man to push a 5'1 110 woman...Nathan, I don't know any mechanics that well....well, that are not in the army. It's a 2014 Dodge Dart and has some stupid @$$ key/fob combo that has a computer. If you could ask your mechanic about plausibility and price I'd appreciate it.
  • onestrangeoneonestrangeone Austin, TxPosts: 2,441 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I'll give him a call tomorrow
  • Jetmech_63Jetmech_63 Posts: 3,451 ✭✭✭
    This sounds like something one of my guys ran into a while back. Is it a title issue or a loan issue? If the registration / title says (crazy dude) AND/OR (your sister) you don't need his signature to get rid of it. If it says AND, you do and if he contests there is no way beyond a court ruling(see a lawyer who specializes in vehicle code) to do so. That's the position my guy was in but. The short term to keep the other party from regaining access to the vehicle he pulled both front tires and the battery. Absolutley nothing illegal about rendering g the car mechanically undrivable if it's done by a person on the title.
  • Jetmech_63Jetmech_63 Posts: 3,451 ✭✭✭
    P.S. Props for only pushing the guy that pushed (and previously beat) your sister. That takes restraint and moral maturity beyond the capacity of most men.
  • The3StogiesThe3Stogies MainePosts: 2,652 ✭✭✭✭
    Damn, sounds like you've been having a good time, so sorry. You were right for showing restraint, hard as that may have been. Has she talked to a lawyer, can she get free advice, lots of services out there. Especially for abuse and she has police reports now, history. Sometimes just a letter from a lawyer gets things moving.
    Sounds like that car is the problem, always be a target for this nut. I'd get rid of it at any cost and move on. Or maybe leave it out as bait and booby-trap it, but she pays the insurance you say, nope that won't work.
  • rsherman24rsherman24 Scranton, PAPosts: 6,174 ✭✭✭✭✭
    That is a tough position. Don't you guys in Texas just shoot people legally if they come on your property?
  • RainRain Posts: 8,958 ✭✭✭
    Jetmech_63:
    P.S. Props for only pushing the guy that pushed (and previously beat) your sister. That takes restraint and moral maturity beyond the capacity of most men.
    I'd love to claim restraint and moral maturity, but I'm sure in the back of my mind I did not want to go to jail. Maybe it was all those stupid Escalation of Force classes I sat through.
  • 90+_Irishman90+_Irishman Loveland, COPosts: 12,381 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Truly sorry to hear this Randy, not sure what I could do or offer but if you can think of something that I could help with I am there brother just let me know. Praying for you and the family bro ;)
    "When walking in open territory bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them."
  • 90+_Irishman90+_Irishman Loveland, COPosts: 12,381 ✭✭✭✭✭
    rsherman24:
    That is a tough position. Don't you guys in Texas just shoot people legally if they come on your property?
    Typically called the "Make My Day" law which we also have in CO. Wish it were as simple as that in the cases where it should be but it ain't. If I wake up in the middle of the night and someone has broken into my house I cannoy just get up bleary eyed and freaked out and shoot them. If I did I would go to jail, I actually have to call the police, tell the intruder to leave and only if I feel threatened and worried for myself or my family's immediate safety and verbally call that out three times and can prove it... Then and only then can I shoot their nuts off before putting three to center mass. It's a severe faff for sure.
    "When walking in open territory bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them."
  • rsherman24rsherman24 Scranton, PAPosts: 6,174 ✭✭✭✭✭
    90+ Irishman:
    rsherman24:
    That is a tough position. Don't you guys in Texas just shoot people legally if they come on your property?
    Typically called the "Make My Day" law which we also have in CO. Wish it were as simple as that in the cases where it should be but it ain't. If I wake up in the middle of the night and someone has broken into my house I cannoy just get up bleary eyed and freaked out and shoot them. If I did I would go to jail, I actually have to call the police, tell the intruder to leave and only if I feel threatened and worried for myself or my family's immediate safety and verbally call that out three times and can prove it... Then and only then can I shoot their nuts off before putting three to center mass. It's a severe faff for sure.

    I was joking of course. . .Or maybe wishful thinking.
  • First_WarriorFirst_Warrior N.C. MountainsPosts: 2,663 ✭✭✭✭✭
    You could always drive it to a low rent part of town, leave the keys in it and let it get stolen maybe. If you change locks the guy will just take a hammer to the car. Better get her a taser or pepper spray and train with it because once the car is resolved the dude might stalk. Better safe than sorry.
    The Native Peoples of the Americas gave tobacco to the world.
  • RainRain Posts: 8,958 ✭✭✭
    In Texas, I can't shoot someone for just being on my property, but entering the house...I can go all Dirty Harry on him.Texas' version, more of a “Castle Doctrine-like” law, eliminates hoops for homeowners to claim self-defense, he said. It allows for the automatic assumption under the law that a homeowner is in fear for his or her life if confronted by an unlawful intruder in the home. “I think most people agree if somebody is in your house at night uninvited, most homeowners are going to feel threatened and very afraid,” Herberg said. “Outside, you do not get the benefit of that presumption.” Texas' and Florida's requirement that prosecutors must prove a slaying wasn't self-defense — instead of the defendant having the burden of proof when making such a claim — does have critics.
  • RainRain Posts: 8,958 ✭✭✭
    First Warrior:
    You could always drive it to a low rent part of town, leave the keys in it and let it get stolen maybe. If you change locks the guy will just take a hammer to the car. Better get her a taser or pepper spray and train with it because once the car is resolved the dude might stalk. Better safe than sorry.
    She's got mace and I've trained her up on the shotgun. I'd rather be the one with the weapon in a home invasion situation, just because I'm the most comfortable with weapons. Tried to convince my wife to let me sleep with it in the bed...not having it. But hey, I am a medical professional...so I would shoot and then patch him up.
  • 90+_Irishman90+_Irishman Loveland, COPosts: 12,381 ✭✭✭✭✭
    rsherman24:
    90+ Irishman:
    rsherman24:
    That is a tough position. Don't you guys in Texas just shoot people legally if they come on your property?
    Typically called the "Make My Day" law which we also have in CO. Wish it were as simple as that in the cases where it should be but it ain't. If I wake up in the middle of the night and someone has broken into my house I cannoy just get up bleary eyed and freaked out and shoot them. If I did I would go to jail, I actually have to call the police, tell the intruder to leave and only if I feel threatened and worried for myself or my family's immediate safety and verbally call that out three times and can prove it... Then and only then can I shoot their nuts off before putting three to center mass. It's a severe faff for sure.

    I was joking of course. . .Or maybe wishful thinking.
    Lol I will go with wishful thinking but amend to say I also hope I am never in a situation where this would ever matter either. Have no desire to go through that at all.
    "When walking in open territory bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them."
  • RainRain Posts: 8,958 ✭✭✭
    If you break in to my house, you have decided that the reward (my stuff) is greater than the risk (me). You have placed my wife, kids and cousin in danger and I will respond appropriately. Then I'm going to sleep like a baby, because you became an enemy when you broke in and enemies are not people...they're idiots. :) If you survive, then I hope I showed you the error of yours ways and you can be a person again.
  • 90+_Irishman90+_Irishman Loveland, COPosts: 12,381 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Rain:
    If you break in to my house, you have decided that the reward (my stuff) is greater than the risk (me). You have placed my wife, kids and cousin in danger and I will respond appropriately. Then I'm going to sleep like a baby, because you became an enemy when you broke in and enemies are not people...they're idiots. :) If you survive, then I hope I showed you the error of yours ways and you can be a person again.
    wish I had it as simply as that, but sadly no. I'm of the same mindset Randy, but lawfully I'd be screwed.
    "When walking in open territory bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them."
  • roland_7707roland_7707 Posts: 2,833 ✭✭✭
    What about a "club" or something similar to lock the steering wheel? Could start it but not go anywhere.
    One God, One Truth
  • EchambersEchambers B'Ham Posts: 4,178 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I know this is no consolation, but I feel for you, man. It may be helpful to talk to a lawyer, especially if you can get one free. The battered women's shelter might be able to get you a referral. My experience is that local cops don't always no the law as well as you think. Or I should say don't know all the intricacies of the law. For example, in San Diego, if you hit a women in front of kids they will also charge you with child endangerment. Unfortunately, a dv charge is often not that big of a deal but when you start adding a bunch of other charges on top of that, the threat can sometimes be a deterrent. Generally a dv charge, unless there is significant harm, will get someone less than a year so they stay in county lockup. Anything over a year generally ends up in prison. Anyway, talk to a lawyer that specializes in do.

    Another, albeit long shot, is to ask a judge to break the connection in the contract and take him off the title. They do have that latitude but it's a tough sell, made a little easier if she can show he's never put any of his own money into the car. Call me tomorrow if you want to talk.
    -- "There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go poke it with a stick."
  • Bob_LukenBob_Luken already sucked before joining forum,.....just sayin'.Posts: 9,305 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Someone mentioned this earlier but check to see if she can legally sell it without his signature. Do they owe more than the car is worth? Or do they actually have value in the car that can be turned into cash? Maybe you can find out if he's willing to sell or sign away his rights to the car. Maybe she needs to seek a lawyer. Maybe there is a legal aid service if she can't afford one. Getting either one of their names off that document would be very valuable to everyone's situation. Hope things work out for y'all.
  • RainRain Posts: 8,958 ✭✭✭
    Can't sell the car without him since they're both on the registration.No, he's not willing to sign over his rights. He's flat out told her "I'm not living without you, and you're not living with someone else."Might have to be the lawyer route, but where a full time student gets the money for a lawyer I have no idea. Best chance is getting the car added to the emergency protection order. She's willing to give the car to him if her name comes off, or to keep the car and take his name off. She is not ok with paying the car payment and insurance while he has the car.
  • mmccartneydcmmccartneydc Posts: 3,407 ✭✭✭
    Rain:
    Can't sell the car without him since they're both on the registration.No, he's not willing to sign over his rights. He's flat out told her "I'm not living without you, and you're not living with someone else."Might have to be the lawyer route, but where a full time student gets the money for a lawyer I have no idea. Best chance is getting the car added to the emergency protection order. She's willing to give the car to him if her name comes off, or to keep the car and take his name off. She is not ok with paying the car payment and insurance while he has the car.
    Hmmm, is he on the title too, or just the registration?
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