Questions for men with a family

LiquidChaos66

So some of you may know... I am thoroughly obsessed with Rachel Nevada and Area 51. I cant stop thinking about it and really want to go back for a few days. My wife said I can go down for a while (couple days) solo. I would love to do that but would feel guilty for taking time off for myself and going way outta town away from my wife and daughter. Anyone else have this issue? How did you deal with it? Did being away from your family hinder the enjoyment from your trip?

bandyt09

Depends on how old the kids are. I myself take personal time away from the family and encourage my wife to do the same. I think it helps clear the head and after a few days you truly understand what your little ones mean to you. I look at it like this; before my wife and I were married we were single, then we were married and then we had kids. I portion my time, as it fits, into those three categories as it balances my life.

When my kids were very small it was tougher to enjoy time away as they would call and cry on the phone and always ask when you're coming home. Now, that they are older, they text me and ask to send pictures so they can see where daddy is at.

I think it is important for my kids to understand that it's ok to be away from mom and dad.

brianetz1

LiquidChaos66:

So some of you may know... I am thoroughly obsessed with Rachel Nevada and Area 51. I cant stop thinking about it and really want to go back for a few days. My wife said I can go down for a while (couple days) solo. I would love to do that but would feel guilty for taking time off for myself and going way outta town away from my wife and daughter. Anyone else have this issue? How did you deal with it? Did being away from your family hinder the enjoyment from your trip?

i go fishing every single year with a few buddies and my dad and i will not take my boys or my wife. I don't feel guilty. You can't be on all the time. you have to have some time for yourself to remain sane. I started it when my oldest was 11 and youngest was 6. I wish I would have done it sooner. I come back from that trip completely refreshed to be a father and husband every single year.

LiquidChaos66

Ive gone on a day trip a few times and its been ok. I think my biggest hang up is being so far away from them. I enjoy time away... I guess its something I can get over. lol

rsherman24

I don't feel bad about getting away from the family for a couple days. As long as we can still go on vacations as a family and the wife can get away herself if she wants, don't feel bad about it.

matkn293

I don't feel bad either. I go fishing or head out for a night by myself and friends. I think you have to do that. Hell, I am even going on a trip to Mexico for 4 nights without the wife. She didn't want to go and said have fun so I am booked and hope I make It back. Lol!

blutattoo

I say take the opportunity while you can. A few days away always make me appreciate what's at home even more.

Rhamlin

Go for it. Nothing wrong with some "me" time. We all need it sometimes.

Ken_Light

Nope. No qualms. If she gives the green light the gas pedal goes down.

jgibv

brianetz1:

you have to have some time for yourself to remain sane.

preach!!!

rsherman24:

I don't feel bad about getting away from the family for a couple days. As long as we can still go on vacations as a family and the wife can get away herself if she wants, don't feel bad about it.

exactamundo

LiquidChaos66

All very valid points. I think I will start saving money for my trip then!

deejmemixx

always feel guilty about going out and doing something by myself....main reason why i have no social life. Take tomorrow...friend asked me to go kayaking...feel bad because my wife doesnt do open water. Guess who is staying home..haha. But I love being by my family more than "personal time". I have a man cave with a 50 inch flat screen...a bar etc..so I sneak out there for a cigar and am close enough that if they neeed me i can be there.

raisindot

Other than business trips or for the occasional wedding or other event where it's too expensive for both of us to go, neither I or my wife have ever gone on an overnight or extended trip for pleasure alone. Maybe because I've seen too many situations where husbands and wives go on separate vacations (around here, the wives are far more likely to head off to Cancun with their married girlfriends) and the idea that either I or my wife would want to have a vacation without the other makes me feel kinda sad. Then again, I don't do the kinds of manly activities like huntin' and fishin' and off-roadin' and bikin' and mountain climbin' that most wives would probably prefer their husbands to do on their own.

avengethis

I take time away and so does my wife. Even if its just a 1/2 day or day off it helps get you focused. I like to hunt, fish and golf so I get those activities to myself when I want but now with fishing my boys are getting old enough to go and I enjoy taking them with me.

LiquidChaos66

UPDATE!!!!!!

I just booked my flight and reserved my Mustang convertible for my upcoming SOLO trip back to Rachel Nevada! STUPID EXCITED!!!!! Over 8.5 months to go though.... But I planned this trip around the phase of the moon. I will be going down during the new moon so I can have killer darkness for looking at the stars! ... and watching for UFOs lol

jarubla

Congrats Chris! You gotta share some star trail pics (or UFO pics if you get 'em!)

LiquidChaos66

Ill be posting a thread in regards to that here shortly. :-)

pross

The one time I felt guilty was 2003. 

On January 3, my wife had our son via c-section, On January 12th I left on a 10 day   snowmobile trip to Quebec I had planned and paid for months prior.  On January 18th while in Canada, the Patriots beat the Colts for the AFC Championship, so naturally on January 29th I was on a plane to Houston to watch them win Superbowl XXXVIII.

I barely met my kid until he was a month old and have not lived it down since.......

You can only go up from there so don't worry  

Dark_Roast

^ I DON'T THINK HE WILL REMEMBR! AND PEACE BE WITH YOU.

Wylaff

As long as you put time and money into family trips as well, I don't see any problem with it.

remember to return the favor when she wants to run out for a bit. She is already supporting your cigar habit after all.

webmost

It's absolutely the natural thing to do. Ever since there were families, men have gone off with the guys for hunting or war parties or retreats or roundups, while women stay to tend the hearth. If you don't go, you can never have a homecoming. Homecomings are nice.

Take a tip from an old guy who has done this many times: soon's you get there, stop at a gifte shoppe and blow forty bucks to have them UPS her a surprise vase or cruet or figurine or wind chime some such crappe. Doesn't matter what, so long's it's breakable, useless, and makes her know you thought she'd like it. It must arrive home well before you do. She must not know it's coming. Melts their precious hearts. Well worth the money next time you want to go away. Practice these words: "I dunno. I saw it and I thought of you."

The young man knows the rules. The old man knows the ways around them.

webmost

duplicate post -- musta punched the wrong button.

Wylaff

Freakin' brilliant. My hat off to you Sir.

Big''nBall''n

use to when we were first together but now 10 years later see ya! lol of course i have to pick things i find fun and she would think would be boring that helps too 

LiquidChaos66

Wylaff said:

As long as you put time and money into family trips as well, I don't see any problem with it.

remember to return the favor when she wants to run out for a bit. She is already supporting your cigar habit after all.

She had a trip to Toronto this last summer that I planned out for her AND we have our family vacation the week before I depart for my little excursion. so we are even. lol

As for UPSing a gift home to her... where I am going there is nothing remotely like UPS or USPS to send stuff from... for about 150+ miles. lol But I always bring home gifts for my girls if I go somewhere

Wylaff

If your driving down and you pass through Reno let me know. I'll send you out with a parting gift in case you get nabbed.

LiquidChaos66

Wylaff said:

If your driving down and you pass through Reno let me know. I'll send you out with a parting gift in case you get nabbed.

I wish I was driving down... would be fun! but my flight was so dirt cheap that I couldn't pass it up. lol

Amos_Umwhat

Y'see, I don't have this problem.  My spouse is always willing to go anywhere and do anything...


as long as we don't have to leave the house...

or do anything.

Same goes for me going off by myself.

UseAsDirected

I'm married with 3 kids. I am able to take personal time and not feel guilty by paying it forward.

For example:
I'd buy my wife tickets to the spa for a day - This makes her feel relaxed and I watch the kids. I've also bought tickets to a play and she can take 1 kid while I watch the other two. (Swapping kids between events) 

I've also found that going to my grandpa's house / Fathers house for a day or two greatly reduces my stress level. I can't say I work much (45/50 hours a week) but my job is very stressful and it's nice to unwind and not worry about anything.

Sasquatch

webmost said:

It's absolutely the natural thing to do. Ever since there were families, men have gone off with the guys for hunting or war parties or retreats or roundups, while women stay to tend the hearth. If you don't go, you can never have a homecoming. Homecomings are nice.

Take a tip from an old guy who has done this many times: soon's you get there, stop at a gifte shoppe and blow forty bucks to have them UPS her a surprise vase or cruet or figurine or wind chime some such crappe. Doesn't matter what, so long's it's breakable, useless, and makes her know you thought she'd like it. It must arrive home well before you do. She must not know it's coming. Melts their precious hearts. Well worth the money next time you want to go away. Practice these words: "I dunno. I saw it and I thought of you."

The young man knows the rules. The old man knows the ways around them.

WINNER!!!