Sonny with a Chance of Showers
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The whole text of this Friday's Hope and Change cartoon is pretty funny, so I'm posting it all here.
PC is getting so absurd you just gotta laugh.
... had to change some spelling to get it past the forum filters set to improve our morals by use of asterisks
Quietly weeping mourners braved dark clouds and chill winds yesterday to attend the graveside services for Common Sense, which finally passed away this week after a long, painful, and ultimately hopeless battle with Liberalism.
The final blow was thought to be the Department of Education's ruling that a transgendered student who self-identifies as female but was born male, and still has male genitalia, must be allowed to shower with the girls on the school soccer team.
To the school's credit, they had previously done everything possible to accommodate "the girl with something extra," including providing a privacy curtain for shower time. But that still wasn't acceptable to the student - who is apparently either an azzhoole or a bidge, depending on whether you believe gender is discretionary or genetic.
Which is why the Department of Education conducted a taxpayer-funded two-year investigation into what should be done (and the Dems are whining about the length of the Benghazi hearings?!) before determining that the student was being discriminated against "on the basis of secks." Because, no doubt, they didn't want to say "on the basis of having a skin flute."
"All students deserve the opportunity to participate equally in school programs and activities - this is a basic civil right," said Assistant US Secretary Catherine Lhamon, adding "including showering with nubile young athletic women, their skin delightfully flushed from their exertions, and watching the sinuous streams of water course sensuously over their firm young brests before racing down, down, down to disappear into the heady tangled forests surrounding their teammates' forbidden love grottos."
Okay, she didn't say that last part word for word, but we're pretty sure it was implied.
Hope n' Change isn't against reasonable accomodation of transgendered people, but that word "reasonable" needs to be emphasized. With a Louisville Slugger, if necessary. Which should also be the case when dealing with other ludicrously clear cases in which "self-identifying" doesn't make something true. And we don't just mean Rachel Dolezal's "blackness," Elizabeth Warren's claim to be "Native American," Ahmed's timed detonator that identifies as a "clock," or B. Hussein's transparently ludicrous assertion that he's a Christian.
For instance, a 12 year old who "identifies" as an adult shouldn't get to buy booze. A 25 year old who "identifies" as a senior citizen shouldn't be able to collect Social Security payments. An 11 year old girl who "identifies" as a grown woman shouldn't be able to be a consensual secks partner for a pederast. Yet in our society, it seems increasingly likely that any and all of these things could come to pass.
If Common Sense was still with us, we think it would present us with an elegantly simple solution to the problems above: the requirement of a "No Dicks" sign outside girls shower rooms, and perhaps an identical one to tell the dicks in Washington to start solving problems instead of inventing them.
PC is getting so absurd you just gotta laugh.
... had to change some spelling to get it past the forum filters set to improve our morals by use of asterisks
Quietly weeping mourners braved dark clouds and chill winds yesterday to attend the graveside services for Common Sense, which finally passed away this week after a long, painful, and ultimately hopeless battle with Liberalism.
The final blow was thought to be the Department of Education's ruling that a transgendered student who self-identifies as female but was born male, and still has male genitalia, must be allowed to shower with the girls on the school soccer team.
To the school's credit, they had previously done everything possible to accommodate "the girl with something extra," including providing a privacy curtain for shower time. But that still wasn't acceptable to the student - who is apparently either an azzhoole or a bidge, depending on whether you believe gender is discretionary or genetic.
Which is why the Department of Education conducted a taxpayer-funded two-year investigation into what should be done (and the Dems are whining about the length of the Benghazi hearings?!) before determining that the student was being discriminated against "on the basis of secks." Because, no doubt, they didn't want to say "on the basis of having a skin flute."
"All students deserve the opportunity to participate equally in school programs and activities - this is a basic civil right," said Assistant US Secretary Catherine Lhamon, adding "including showering with nubile young athletic women, their skin delightfully flushed from their exertions, and watching the sinuous streams of water course sensuously over their firm young brests before racing down, down, down to disappear into the heady tangled forests surrounding their teammates' forbidden love grottos."
Okay, she didn't say that last part word for word, but we're pretty sure it was implied.
Hope n' Change isn't against reasonable accomodation of transgendered people, but that word "reasonable" needs to be emphasized. With a Louisville Slugger, if necessary. Which should also be the case when dealing with other ludicrously clear cases in which "self-identifying" doesn't make something true. And we don't just mean Rachel Dolezal's "blackness," Elizabeth Warren's claim to be "Native American," Ahmed's timed detonator that identifies as a "clock," or B. Hussein's transparently ludicrous assertion that he's a Christian.
For instance, a 12 year old who "identifies" as an adult shouldn't get to buy booze. A 25 year old who "identifies" as a senior citizen shouldn't be able to collect Social Security payments. An 11 year old girl who "identifies" as a grown woman shouldn't be able to be a consensual secks partner for a pederast. Yet in our society, it seems increasingly likely that any and all of these things could come to pass.
If Common Sense was still with us, we think it would present us with an elegantly simple solution to the problems above: the requirement of a "No Dicks" sign outside girls shower rooms, and perhaps an identical one to tell the dicks in Washington to start solving problems instead of inventing them.
“It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
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"Why can't you just say "she", now that "she" is a woman?" she asked.
"Swab "her" cheek and send it to a DNA analysis lab. If it comes back XY, it's a boy." I said.
New rules mean new means of measurement. I'm sticking with the DNA.
"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain