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domestic violence

EchambersEchambers Posts: 4,178 ✭✭✭✭✭
in General Discussion
have any of you had to deal with a neighbor that beats his wife?  we have one  the guy is in and out of jail  just got out again  short of "disappearing" him ourselves and calling the police every time we hear her scream have you found any strategy for making it stop and helping the family?
-- "There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go poke it with a stick."

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    CigarPunkCigarPunk Posts: 826 ✭✭✭✭
    I know what I would do. Don't think it's  the answer your looking for. The other thing is to look at local churches in area a lot of them have contacts to help with this type of thing. Good luck. 
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    EchambersEchambers Posts: 4,178 ✭✭✭✭✭
    CigarPunk said:
    I know what I would do. Don't think it's  the answer your looking for. The other thing is to look at local churches in area a lot of them have contacts to help with this type of thing. Good luck. 
    I tried a more aggressive approach in another situation approached when I was younger and the only impact is that I almost spent the night in jail
    -- "There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go poke it with a stick."
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    90+_Irishman90+_Irishman Posts: 12,408 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Is there any chance you could file a harassment charge or something along those lines against him yourself for impact on y'alls life etc? I am so terrible when it comes to legal matters it aint funny, but I absolutely would want to try to use to the laws to my favor if I was in that situation. I hope that maybe gives an idea or something to look into Eric. Thanks for caring enough to try to make a difference, that alone matters more than you probably know.

    Brett
    "When walking in open territory bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them."
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    genareddoggenareddog Posts: 4,044 ✭✭✭✭✭
    My daughter worked at a women's shelter for a while and it sounds like the biggest obstacle is for the women leaving the situation. There is all kind of help out there if one wants it. A lot of prayers are being sent to your neighbor.
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    AlbinfkAlbinfk Posts: 1,923 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Why hasn't she left????
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    Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat Posts: 8,440 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Went through this while stationed at Ft. Sam Houston in San Antonio.  Very frustrating.
    1)  Confronted them, he denies, she denies, no visible bruises.

    2) Next time, called the MP's.  Somehow, he always stopped before they came.
        He denies, she denies.  Multiple MP visits produced the same effect every time.

    3) Bang on the door, no answers but things get a lot quieter.

    4) Her friends show up, at my house, and ask why I am not doing something to stop this.  I tell them I've tried, ask if any of them have called the cops or given her a way out.  "She won't go" and "She won't talk to the cops" are the answers.

    What the hell do you do?

    If you shoot him, you'll go to jail for sure.  I wouldn't feel too bad about it, for shooting him, but I don't want to spend my remaining years in prison because she won't tell on him.

    Sorry to hear you're going through this, it's very very frustrating.

    :(
    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
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    Dark_RoastDark_Roast Posts: 1,070 ✭✭✭
    lived next door to an ahole in apartment complex. A lot of arguing. One night things got out of hand. She came out of her place with blood streaming down her face. My girlfriend and I took her to police station. She filled out complaint and he went to jail. She disapeared and he never returned. That's it. 
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    Edna20Edna20 Posts: 1,323 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I think all you can do is call the police whenever you hear anything. You getting involved will only get you in trouble and it won't help in getting her to leave and may even piss the guy off more. She's got to decide for herself that she's had enough and that she can live without him. It's very sad but I think it's definitely one of those rock bottom internal things that only she can change :(
    Team O'Donnell FTW!
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    Devildog1Devildog1 Posts: 931 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I know what I would do, but that's me.  That best thing to do is what couple folks said already, involve law enforcement each and every time. it's time to be THAT GUY
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    0patience0patience Posts: 10,665 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I would say be very careful.
    It can get turned around on you very quickly.
    There is no easy answer. You could find yourself with both him and her on you.

    I made the mistake once. Fortunately, I had enough witnesses I didn't have to pay for his broken fingers or the broken door when he took a swing at my gal.
    The police let me walk away and since the door wasn't his, I did have it replaced.
    Had I not had witnesses present, it could have ended badly for me.
    In Fumo Pax
    Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.

    Wylaff said:
    Atmospheric pressure and crap.
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    Usaf06Usaf06 Posts: 10,985 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Here in florida if you are arrested for domestic violence a judge automatically issues an injunction. May be the same there so if he is home he should get arrested just for being there
    "I drink a great deal. I sleep a little, and I smoke cigar after cigar. That is why I am in two-hundred-percent form."
    -- Winston Churchill

    "LET'S GO FRANCIS"     Peter

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    EchambersEchambers Posts: 4,178 ✭✭✭✭✭
    no injunction here.  Washington state doesn't do DV very well.  ugh  we call the police almost every week.  in fact about four of the neighbors do..
    -- "There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go poke it with a stick."
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    BigshizzaBigshizza Posts: 15,645 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Need help? Call me I have nothing to lose...
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    skydiverDskydiverD Posts: 2,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Man that is terrible.  I don't know what I would do, cuz it would drive me crazy and I am a bit of a hothead.  Most likely, would end up with me being the one getting arrested, and him getting to play the innocent victim role.  The worse part is that he must have her scared enough so that she wont ever say a word to the police.  From what I hear that is a common theme with abusers. 

    Whether or not its a good idea, I would let him know that I know whats going on, and won't tolerate it, and will be knocking on his door every time I hear it, just to say hi of course.  Hopefully one day he'd take a swing at me... ;) (then its self defense)

    How do you like my profile pic Taborski?   @matkn293          
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    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Bigshizza said:
    Need help? Call me I have nothing to lose...
    Hey, I like this suggestion the best so far. Invite Shizz to come stay for the week. He can bring his red painted baseball bat. Give that ahole the "see how you like it!" 

    But in reality, it's like they say: If you want justice, go watch an action movie.
    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
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    ExpendableYouthExpendableYouth Posts: 2,105 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Just keep calling the cops. It's their job to handle those types of situations, and unless you see them in the act of abusing their partner you are more likely to land yourself in trouble than them.
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    Jay6Jay6 Posts: 755 ✭✭✭✭✭

    One thing you might do is record the altercations if possible (even if it is only audio). This can then be provided to the police, and will help them when both parties say nothing happened. At least in Maine an arrest can be made if it is proven that an assault occurred, even if the victim is not cooperating.


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