Home› Non Cigar Related

Ring, Ring... Ring, Ring

peter4jcpeter4jc Posts: 16,650 ✭✭✭✭✭
in Non Cigar Related
I'm sleeping in, as usual, when the phone rings and wakes me up.  There's a guy with a heavy Indian accent on the other end, who I expect is going to tell me he's from Microsoft and alert me that my computer has a virus (I've had fun with them on that one too, let me tell you).  This time, he's and agent from the US Dept of Treasury and his name is Steve Walker - you have to chuckle to hear someone with this heavy accent say his name is Steve Walker.

SW: Good Morning. Is this Peter Schmidt?

Me: Yes, it is, Good Morning to you.

SW: This is Agent Steve Walker with the US Dept. of Treasury.  There has been a fine assessed to you for non-payment of back taxes.

At this point, I'm asking myself should I just hang up or have some fun... normally these guys will lie for a half hour if you pretend you believe them...

Me: Well, good morning to you, Mr. Walker.

SW: Thank you.

Me: How are you on this fine morning?

SW: (sounds confused, doesn't know how to answer) Fine, thank you.

Me: Did you pray to God this morning?

SW: Yes.

Me: Did you pray that He would make you an honest man?

SW: Yes.

Me:  Well you better tell Him to hurry up, because YOU'RE A LYING SACK OF SH|T!!!

Line goes dead.  I start my day with a smile on my face.




What kind of stupid calls do you all get and how do you like to deal with them?

"I could've had a Mi Querida!"   Nick Bardis

Comments

  • 90+_Irishman90+_Irishman Posts: 12,409 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I deal with this specific scam all the time at my job, poor saps falling for it and buying thousands of dollars in itunes gift cards and then drained. And they want Apple to fix it.... REALLY?! Sorry you had to deal with this BS but glad you got some fun out of it Peter!

    Brett
    "When walking in open territory bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them."
  • Ryan1990Ryan1990 Posts: 526 ✭✭✭✭
    That's awesome Peter. Nicely done, sir.
  • danielzreyesdanielzreyes Posts: 8,771 ✭✭✭✭✭
    peter4jc said:
    danielzreyes said:
    I almost spit out my Starbucks House Blend K-Cup while reading this. 
    Thanks for the morning laugh, Peetah
    It should take a lot less than that to make you spit that swill... 

    Love you, DZR.

    Now go ban yourself.  <3

    Oh so it's you that gave me that disagree. 

    I'm telling on you.  
    "It's plume, bro. Nothing to worry about. Got any Opus?" The suppose to be DZR
  • CigarPunkCigarPunk Posts: 826 ✭✭✭✭
    peter4jc said:
    danielzreyes said:
    I almost spit out my Starbucks House Blend K-Cup while reading this. 
    Thanks for the morning laugh, Peetah
    It should take a lot less than that to make you spit that swill... 

    Love you, DZR.

    Now go ban yourself.  <3


    image
  • peter4jcpeter4jc Posts: 16,650 ✭✭✭✭✭
    danielzreyes said:
    peter4jc said:
    danielzreyes said:
    I almost spit out my Starbucks House Blend K-Cup while reading this. 
    Thanks for the morning laugh, Peetah
    It should take a lot less than that to make you spit that swill... 

    Love you, DZR.

    Now go ban yourself.  <3

    Oh so it's you that gave me that disagree. 

    I'm telling on you.  
    No, that was Nick...  Am I right?
    "I could've had a Mi Querida!"   Nick Bardis
  • RBeckomRBeckom Posts: 2,191 ✭✭✭
    edited September 2016
    Good stuff here.

    Post edited by RBeckom on
  • silvermousesilvermouse Posts: 21,047 ✭✭✭✭✭
    a spider woke up the whole neighborhood at 1:30 this morning by setting off the burglar alarm in my shop. Your neighbors were luckier than mine.
  • RBeckomRBeckom Posts: 2,191 ✭✭✭
    silvermouse said:
    a spider woke up the whole neighborhood at 1:30 this morning by setting off the burglar alarm in my shop. Your neighbors were luckier than mine.
    Please explain how.
    Motion sensor?
  • WylaffWylaff Posts: 5,369 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Image result for spider burglar
    "Cooking isn't about struggling; It's about pleasure. It's like sǝx, with a wider variety of sauces."

    At any given time the urge to sing "In The Jungle" is just a whim away... A whim away... A whim away...
  • Usaf06Usaf06 Posts: 11,370 ✭✭✭✭✭
    peter4jc said:
    danielzreyes said:
    peter4jc said:
    danielzreyes said:
    I almost spit out my Starbucks House Blend K-Cup while reading this. 
    Thanks for the morning laugh, Peetah
    It should take a lot less than that to make you spit that swill... 

    Love you, DZR.

    Now go ban yourself.  <3

    Oh so it's you that gave me that disagree. 

    I'm telling on you.  
    No, that was Nick...  Am I right?
    Yes
    "I drink a great deal. I sleep a little, and I smoke cigar after cigar. That is why I am in two-hundred-percent form."
    -- Winston Churchill

    "LET'S GO FRANCIS"     Peter

  • Usaf06Usaf06 Posts: 11,370 ✭✭✭✭✭
    peter4jc said:
    danielzreyes said:
    peter4jc said:
    danielzreyes said:
    I almost spit out my Starbucks House Blend K-Cup while reading this. 
    Thanks for the morning laugh, Peetah
    It should take a lot less than that to make you spit that swill... 

    Love you, DZR.

    Now go ban yourself.  <3

    Oh so it's you that gave me that disagree. 

    I'm telling on you.  
    No, that was Nick...  Am I right?
    Yes
    "I drink a great deal. I sleep a little, and I smoke cigar after cigar. That is why I am in two-hundred-percent form."
    -- Winston Churchill

    "LET'S GO FRANCIS"     Peter

  • silvermousesilvermouse Posts: 21,047 ✭✭✭✭✭
    RBeckom said:
    silvermouse said:
    a spider woke up the whole neighborhood at 1:30 this morning by setting off the burglar alarm in my shop. Your neighbors were luckier than mine.
    Please explain how.
    Motion sensor?
    Yeah, the spider had caught a large fly, right in front of the sensor.
  • YaksterYakster Posts: 27,848 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Were they able to save the fly?   :D
    Join us on Zoom vHerf (Meeting # 2619860114 Password vHerf2020 )
Sign In or Register to comment.