Home› Trades, Passes and Bombs

July Tenner

webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
in Trades, Passes and Bombs
As Heterophobic Gender Deniers Month marches gaily to it's end, we can all look forward to International Group B Strep Awareness Month. At this point, we'd expect to see a July Lottery. If you want one, say so, I'll announce one. But, truth is, the lottery died before, came back to life, and now it appears to have died again. First lottery I saw was a revival. Two dozen entered. From there it consistently dwindled. June's lottery was deader'n disco on Amish night down at the Double Deuce.

But...

That still leaves me holding a bagful of ammo prepared for lottery side bets. Gotta mail these stinkers off somewheres. So here's what I propose:

Yesterday, I reported for jury duty at 8:30 a.m. A hundred ninety some potential jurors waived their 4th amendment on the way in the door, reported to the desk, picked up a handbook, watched the video, and then... sat on their thumbs. A full docket of criminal trials. Not a single trial required us. Everyone settled. By lunch time, every juror was home while every judge was on the links.This kind of thing happens because, well, why would any miscreant go to jail today if he can go tomorrow? Might as well beat up the old lady one last time before she moves on. So he either settles the morning of or else he skips out. 

Slap a guess on this: How many criminal trials settled or skipped this morning of? No cheating, now; don't be looking it up in court records. Closest guess by the first day of Cord Blood Awareness Blog Month gets a tenner from me -- five from the store and five from the rolling table. Unique numbers please. In case of a tie, both win ten. 

Good Luck.
“It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)

Comments

  • avengethisavengethis Posts: 5,690 ✭✭✭✭✭
    12
    Team O'Donnell FTW!

    "I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke ever last one of 'em." - Ron White
  • cbuckcbuck Posts: 8,754 ✭✭✭✭✭
    17
  • WaterNerdWaterNerd Posts: 3,372 ✭✭✭✭✭
    22
    Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt
    — Abraham Lincoln


  • matkn293matkn293 Posts: 3,565 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Interesting contest.  I will guess 14

    Life is too short to smoke bad cigars!!!

    Oh when the Blues, Oh when the Blues, Oh when the Blues go marching in!


  • miller65rodmiller65rod Posts: 3,630 ✭✭✭✭✭
    11
    Free Cuba
    "I ain't got no Opus's"
    LLA     - Lancero Lovers of America
    2016 Gang War (South)
    May I assss u a ?

              
  • WylaffWylaff Posts: 5,379 ✭✭✭✭✭
    27
    "Cooking isn't about struggling; It's about pleasure. It's like sǝx, with a wider variety of sauces."

    At any given time the urge to sing "In The Jungle" is just a whim away... A whim away... A whim away...
  • dirtdudedirtdude Posts: 5,870 ✭✭✭✭✭
    9
    A little dirt never hurt
  • peter4jcpeter4jc Posts: 16,737 ✭✭✭✭✭
    36
    "I could've had a Mi Querida!"   Nick Bardis
  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Wylaff said:
    27
    DING DING DING DING DING!

    Hit the nail on the head. 27 rascals pled or fled on the morning of.

    Hey, you still at the same place as where I sent the leaf bout this time last summer? If so, I can hunt that addy up. You ever roll one or two, or what happened? I'll send you some homerolled maybe that will goose you to try.

    I'll try and toss this out the door here Monday
    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
  • peter4jcpeter4jc Posts: 16,737 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Wayne's in MKE this weekend.  If you hop on that scooter right now, you could hand-deliver it.  ;-)
    "I could've had a Mi Querida!"   Nick Bardis
  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Would, but I gotta mow the lawn.
    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
  • BigshizzaBigshizza Posts: 15,659 ✭✭✭✭✭
    8
  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Wayne

    9505514352937177081721

    Watch out for that Churchill in the telescoping ABS cigar tube. It is rolled hard hard hard. Might need a draw poker. But it's also tasty tasty tasty. Dunno the provenance, other that we cases of them in the basement at FX Smith's Sons. A hand rolled from Honduras. About 8 or 10 years old. Very good.

    I love these tubes, btw -- perfect for carrying a cigar in yer pocket.

    Enjoy


    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
  • WylaffWylaff Posts: 5,379 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I've rolled a bunch of the binder and filler, but the wrapper was too dry. I tossed them in with a couple seasoning bovedas and forgot about them, but I plan to get some done when I get home.
    "Cooking isn't about struggling; It's about pleasure. It's like sǝx, with a wider variety of sauces."

    At any given time the urge to sing "In The Jungle" is just a whim away... A whim away... A whim away...
  • Devildog1Devildog1 Posts: 931 ✭✭✭✭✭
    26-1/2.  
  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Wylaff -- When wrapper leaves get dry, just spritz them with a spray bottle and give them five minutes. The speed at which baccy leaves take up water is amazing. Just look at my vid here, where I soak a wrapper in the time it takes to roll the bunch:

            https://youtu.be/TCqCESg3Q7c

    Devildog1 -- At 26 1/2, are you fishing for a half tenner? Which half do you want -- the home rolled dog rockets or the bargain bin sub-preemies? 


    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
  • WylaffWylaff Posts: 5,379 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Good stuff Davis. And the tube is the sh't! Gracias.
    "Cooking isn't about struggling; It's about pleasure. It's like sǝx, with a wider variety of sauces."

    At any given time the urge to sing "In The Jungle" is just a whim away... A whim away... A whim away...
Sign In or Register to comment.