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What have we done! How close are we?

63Pro63Pro Posts: 38 ✭✭
CALLER:

Is this Gordon's Pizza?

GOOGLE:
No sir, it's Google Pizza.

CALLER:
I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.

GOOGLE:

No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.
CALLER:

OK. I would like to order a pizza.

GOOGLE:

Do you want your usual, sir?

CALLER:

My usual? You know me?

GOOGLE:

According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

CALLER:

OK! That’s what I want.

GOOGLE:

May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?

CALLER:

What? I detest vegetables.

GOOGLE:

Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

CALLER:

How the heck do you know?

GOOGLE:

Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

CALLER

Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.

GOOGLE

Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.

CALLER:

I bought more from another drugstore.

GOOGLE:

That doesn’t show on your credit card statement

CALLER:

I paid in cash.

GOOGLE:

But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

CALLER:

I have other sources of cash.

GOOGLE:

That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.
CALLER:

WHAT THE HECK?

GOOGLE:
I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you

CALLER:

Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

GOOGLE:

I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago.
No one ever learned anything by doing right the first time!

Comments

  • dirtdudedirtdude Posts: 5,641 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Thats where we are headed. I always order pizza with duckduckgo.
    A little dirt never hurt
  • CharlieHeisCharlieHeis Posts: 8,144 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Sounds about right.
  • 63Pro63Pro Posts: 38 ✭✭
    We are happy to enjoy technology thinking it will never lead us to this point. But we are at the threshold of it now and can easily see how this funny conversation has led us, and is leading us to a type of control that we never imagined! Anyway, thought you guys would get a kick out of it! :D
    Here is something else that is incredible!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzFW4-dvFDA
    No one ever learned anything by doing right the first time!
  • jd50aejd50ae Posts: 7,900 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited April 2018
    In case anyone really cares.
    Between the politicians, a completely untrustworthy press and the electronics it is way too late. And oh yea, what use to be called "schools".
  • PatrickbrickPatrickbrick Posts: 7,722 ✭✭✭✭✭
    BAAAAAAAAA, fall in line folks. 
    "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give".  Winston Churchill.
    MOW badge received.
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