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Have you ever seen a dog poop underwater?

Bob_LukenBob_Luken Posts: 9,998 ✭✭✭✭✭
edited May 2019 in Non Cigar Related
OK, so you have been sufficiently spoiler alerted by the title. And it gets worse, so if you can't stand dog poop grossness, stop reading now. Don't say I didn't warn you already.

Maybe I should have freaked out a little, I didn't. Looking back, perhaps I should have blown the emergency distress whistle from my life jacket nearby and pointed at the dog's owner, and his dog, and shouted "That dog's dropping a t*u*r*d! Everybody out of the water!" but I didn't. And I feel like the only chance I'll ever get to step up as a concerned citizen and shout those words has passed me by. I remained silent, right where I was, shin deep, downstream, eating a sandwich while this mutt pooed with it's head and shoulders above the water and it's butt hole below. Ya know how sometimes you wonder if a dog will ever stop pooping? That's how long it was pooping. Seemed like forever. Enough time elapsed for me to ponder the consistency of the poop. You dog owners know what I mean. The longer they poop, the looser it gets, right? 

We were kayaking in the west fork stones river in Murfreesboro. In past kayak trips on this part of the river, we had seen many of the dog owners bring their dogs down to this spot on the river near the dog park. There is a nice shallow set of rapids to wade and play in for humans and pets alike. We planned to set up our collapsible lawn chairs in the rapids and eat our picnic lunch with our feet in the shallow rushing waters. All went as planned but, on memorial day, there were way more dogs and people than usual. I counted ten dogs at one point and probably twice as many humans. It was too crowded for my preference, but we were hungry by then and didn't want to move elsewhere, and I figured it would be fun to watch the dogs playing in the water.  My girlfriend had just speculated out loud if any of the dogs had been pooping in the water. I said, "Nah, dogs don't poop in the water. They'd most likely run up on the bank and poop where they'd be more comfortable." About a minute later I was proven wrong. 
Post edited by Bob_Luken on


  • Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat Posts: 8,360 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Still working on getting us that "Eeew Gross!" button, eh Bob?
    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
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