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Diesel Unlimited
Cigargandist
Posts: 7 ✭
It's time to relax after dinner on your average summer evening. I grab the Diesel Unlimited by AJ Fernandez out of the humidor and sit out by the pool. Like any summer evening, a storm is brewing. The oily ligero wrapper is dark like the approaching squall, but not black. Like the storm, it's not ominous enough to cause alarm, but enough to promise an exciting experience. The earthy peppery floral aroma hits the senses like the warm air rushing in to feed the growing tempest.
The first storm watch is issued. I light this stick with the excitement of the first flashes of lightning in the distance. That first strike hits with the tingle of pepper followed by a wave of aged leather like the rumble of thunder in the distance. Mild hints of chocolate emerge, billowing with an oakey note that rise up and forward the way the towering thunderheads ride the convective currents and blow out ahead of the storm.
The second third hits like the squall line. The light drizzle that was the pepper and leather is now a steady rain, strong and pronounced. The chocolate pushes like the first winds of the front, gusting and developing a coffee like character. The thunder and lightning come more frequently now, like the oak tones growing and developing a full and mature essence of a charred bourbon barrel, like one would taste in a single malt.
By the final third, we are completely engulfed, surrounded by the hammering and bursting of thunder, lightning, wind and rain. The pepper is a full and floral white pepper with a hint of honeysuckle. This mixes in waves with dark coffee, toast, earthy leather and Brazil or macadamia nuts like the alternating waves of wind and rain. But the storm is winding down. The draw is becoming hard now, like how the massive output of the storm eventually chokes out the inflow and cuts off its energy supply. As the chaos winds down, we're left with a lingering toasty chocolate note and a hint of something faintly eucalyptus-like in the diminishing floral character. The cigar, like the storm extinguishes itself, and leaves us in peace with fond memories of the experience.
This is how a full flavored, heavy bodied cigar should be. And it's earned a permanent home in my humidor, for whenever I'm in need of the perfect storm.
1
Comments
...just wanted to see if a copy/paste of a gif works.
@Cigargandist , no good smokes in 2020?
The avatar on the op looks like Bryson
I know, You're a big dog and I'm on the list.
Let's eat, GrandMa. / Let's eat GrandMa. -- Punctuation saves lives
It'll be fine once the swelling goes down.
Cool story....I hope your meteorology career is going well.
2020 cigar review, the Dutch master...
As I sat outside one March day, I felt optimistic about the year and my cigars. I had recently won a lotto, just like my golden knights did when they traded a backup goalie to the Blackhawks for the future of the team. I dig into my dog rocket pile and pull out a Dutch Masters from @Trykflyr_1 and I think to myself, "This, like 2020, isn't so bad."
As I try to find a cutter, Paul informs me that it already has a hole in the cap, much like the hole left in my soul from the NBA postponing their season. No matter, I take a cold draw. Not much there, which reminds me of work, which told me to stop coming in because of a new disease called covid-19.
I light into this bad boy. Immediately, my taste buds crash like the stock market as I taste the unadulterated flavor of poorly aged and assembled tobacco. The burn reminds me of a california wildfire, as it hisses and crackles out of control.
As I get into the second third, the flavor is still holding on, but as perilously as RGB's pancreas. The burn is now flatter than trump's approval rating. About the only thing that this smoke has going for it is that it doesn't have coronavirus...I think.
As I enter the final third, I suddenly realize that this cigar is much like a stimulus check. I might be smoking it now, but I'm gonna pay for it later. Later comes sooner, as this third, much like the final third of 2020, turns into a raging dumpster fire on my taste buds. The notes of earwax (you all know that you know what that tastes like!) and ashtray overpower my palate, and make me long to be in a hermetically sealed limousine with our contagious president. At least then I would no longer be able to taste the pure wickedness of this ghastly cigar.
I decide to smoke this non-rolled, homogeneous tobacco paper wrapped product to the nub and snap a picture of the tiniest nub in the world before, like 2020, I emphatically close the book on this chapter forever. So long, 2020, and so long to the Dutch Masters Alaskan General Store special...FOREVER.
TLDR. ;-)
It wasn't for you, silly. You don't care about flowery reviews! It was for Ernest...
Frank, you have inspired me. Smoking my treasured 10-year-old Robert Burns corona.
Their Lanceros go for $50 each.
https://www.cigar.com/p/robert-burns-cigars/1492487/
Hell no, not the one with the cuban tobacco, I'm talking about the real thing, $1.10 each:
http://www.deweyavesmokeshop.com/cigars/domestic/ROBT BURNS.html
Tastes like they might have mixed in a little pipe tobacco, lol.
Brand:
Robert Burns
Cigar Name:
Black Watch
Length:
5.25
Ring Gauge:
41
Country Manufactured:
Dominican Republic
United States
Filler:
Caribbean Basin Cuban Seed
Binder:
Homogenized Tobacco Leaf
Wrapper:
Connecticut Shade
Homogenized Tobacco Leaf
Color:
Claro
Strength:
Mild
Funny. How many of these $50 cigars do you think the company taster actually smoked? I find it hilarious that there's a good bit of pepper in it. The only way that you're tasting pepper on that cigar is if you sprinkled some on the wrapper before you lit it up.
I read this review, and I started it much like 2020, hopeful at the beginning only to be beaten by its continuous and unforgiving onslaught of unmercifully depressing spirals in to the worst parts of human nature.
Gee, Frank, that’s quite a nub you’ve got there. Were you afraid the ashes might fall behind your teeth? 😜😜
@VegasFrank, it gladdens my heart that I could find such an appreciative palate for those. I agonized for literally minutes over which of my Brothers was deserving of such an example of the tobacconist's art. A fine review all around.