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Twas the night before Christmas

VegasFrankVegasFrank Posts: 16,456 ✭✭✭✭✭

Twas the night before Christmas
And all across the forum
All the smokes had been smoked
And now @Deadman would score 'em

Lotto winnings for Travis
Packed in boxes with care
In hopes that the post lady
Soon would be there

I sat in my chair
On the front porch
I grabbed a cigar
Picked up a new torch

I opened the zoom app
And what did I see?
A cigar with no band
From @EgoBoundary

The foot of my stick
I began to toast
While that santa-like @Yakster
Gave his coffee a roast

On that first page
With Ernest and Chris
Also was @Vision
Whose tank tops we miss

I glared at my screen
And it's tiles of four
Five pages of four!
Plus one with three more

When all of the sudden
Arose such a clatter
A girlish little scream
Scroll! Scroll! What's the matter?

There sat @Guitarded
"I'm begging you, please!"
A new LE Tat
While on his buy freeze

He sat with three vols
Paul, Glenn, and "Bob-Mike"
A full teeth set among them
For Christmas they'd like

O'er on the third page
With his patties of frost
Sat Florida Nick
Mourning Florida's loss

He was there with @IndustMech
They both in their coats
And @Stubble who told
Of a disturbance with goats

Onto page four!
The cool guys I found
The Püssy destroyer
And Paul with his hound

Ricky's slow drawl,
Paul's dog was berserk
Bryson was there
His nose in his work

I swiped to see Sherm
Watching the game
Not saying much
His smoke likely lame

As well on that page
The new guys with Peter
Taylor smoking a bomb
Wade wished for a heater

The bully was cheery
With a shït eating smile
Watching the cold guys
From in his house all the while

That last partial page,
Only two faces I saw
'Cause Jeff had a camera
With a lense flaw

The others were Patrick
And Wayne from upstate
Not a moment of silence
Lots of pee on the grate

Scroll more I could not
For roll had been taken
Those that were missing
Had me quite shaken

Sightings of Charlie
And David are rare
Thankfully Allan
Came up once for air

Saw Rodney just once
Shiz one less than that
Dafuq's up with dat?

To Edward and @cbuck
And Mud in the morning
Sleep in some days!
Early A.M. is boring

Back on the vherf
Others aren't there
Which makes me remark
Why would I care?

Two guys in one cup
And ol' @Scotch_n_Smoke
@Michael_walk and the trolls
Are the ultimate JOKE

I'm down to the nub
My smoke's getting hot
My lips are on fire
My fingers are not

I say my goodbyes
To everyone right
Merry Christmas, Ccom
To my brothers, good night!

@TNBigfoot68 @MrShrek @Bob_Luken @Usaf06 @Rhamlin @Significant3 @Trykflyr_1 @peter4jc @TheKraken @CommanderDuke1_ @ExpendableYouth @Patrickbrick @Wylaff @CharlieHeis @NorCalR1 @WaterNerd @silvermouse @ForMud

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  • Usaf06Usaf06 Posts: 10,883 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Your so talented

    "I drink a great deal. I sleep a little, and I smoke cigar after cigar. That is why I am in two-hundred-percent form."
    -- Winston Churchill

    "LET'S GO FRANCIS"     Peter

  • EgoBoundaryEgoBoundary Posts: 2,151 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Happy holidays Frank. Your talent is wasted on whatever else you are doing for money. The forum appreciates your cognitive surplus spent on this Yuletide limerick.

  • VegasFrankVegasFrank Posts: 16,456 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Anyone have a thesaurus? I think that was a compliment! :D

    Don't look ↑
  • VisionVision Posts: 7,743 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Awesome job my friend!

    Merry Christmas to all and to all a good light!

  • NorCalR1NorCalR1 Posts: 4,197 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @VegasFrank I look forward to this every year. Thanks brother for the forum tradition.

    If you want to bomb me send it to Tony @0patience :D
    If you are a newbie I got Dem nachos....

  • CalvinAndHoboCalvinAndHobo Posts: 2,916 ✭✭✭✭✭


  • Diver43Diver43 Posts: 2,124 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited December 2020

    I like it 👍

    Logistics cannot win a war, but its absence or inadequacy can cause defeat. FM100-5
  • IndustMechIndustMech Posts: 4,633 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Nice recovery.
    We need more Calvin.

    I know, You're a big dog and I'm on the list.
    Let's eat, GrandMa.  /  Let's eat GrandMa.  --  Punctuation saves lives

    It'll be fine once the swelling goes down.

  • VegasFrankVegasFrank Posts: 16,456 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Post something once in a while!

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  • CalvinAndHoboCalvinAndHobo Posts: 2,916 ✭✭✭✭✭

    It’s like 20 degrees, and I’m not going to start posting about politics ¯_(ツ)_/¯

  • VegasFrankVegasFrank Posts: 16,456 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Yeah bro! Just hang out with us!

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  • WylaffWylaff Posts: 5,258 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Lol! Merry Christmas Frank.

    "Cooking isn't about struggling; It's about pleasure. It's like sǝx, with a wider variety of sauces."

    At any given time the urge to sing "In The Jungle" is just a whim away... A whim away... A whim away...
  • CharlieHeisCharlieHeis Posts: 8,117 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Awesome. True, I haven't been around much lately but at least you didn't forget me. 🙂

  • TheKrakenTheKraken Posts: 2,236 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Well done Frank!

  • rsherman24rsherman24 Posts: 6,651 ✭✭✭✭✭

    I can't believe you forgot Fvcking @CalvinAndHobo

  • YankeeManYankeeMan Posts: 2,654 ✭✭✭✭✭

    As we say in English class, "Ya dun good!"

  • CommanderDuke1_CommanderDuke1_ Posts: 2,020 ✭✭✭✭✭

    So true!! do wish I had a heater!!!! Awesome poem @VegasFrank

  • cbuckcbuck Posts: 8,356 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Love it Frank! Thanks! I needed that!

  • Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat Posts: 8,346 ✭✭✭✭✭

    As usual, didn't make the cut.

    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
  • VegasFrankVegasFrank Posts: 16,456 ✭✭✭✭✭

    That was my tacit acknowledgment of your full and beautiful set of pearly whites @Amos_Umwhat!

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  • ForMudForMud Posts: 2,336 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Well written Frank....

  • YaksterYakster Posts: 25,247 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @CommanderDuke1_ said:
    So true!! do wish I had a heater!!!! Awesome poem @VegasFrank

    Can you use something like this on your smoker?


    I'll gladly bomb you Tuesday for an Opus today. 

                  Join us on the New Zoom vHerf (Meeting # 2619860114 Password vHerf2020 )
  • silvermousesilvermouse Posts: 18,826 ✭✭✭✭✭

    I've got one of the little ones (on the right), been working flawlessly for the last 6-7 years.

  • VisionVision Posts: 7,743 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @CommanderDuke1_ said:
    So true!! do wish I had a heater!!!! Awesome poem @VegasFrank

    @Guitarded must be so proud!!

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