Sh*ts and Giggles

Cam_91

Saw this question online and knew there might be some golden stories in this place: What’s the dumbest way you ever hurt yourself?

I’ve got a couple since I’m accident prone, but this one is probably at the top. Twelve minutes into my shift working as a stock boy, I was using a tape gun to make boxes and the damn thing kicked back after the tape broke… 8 stitches later and I have the scar to this day. Anyone throw their back out sneezing? Lol

Rdp77

I refuse to answer on the grounds that I may incriminate myself.

ShawnOL

One time, taking a dump, I pushed so hard I threw my back out. Does that count?

Trykflyr_1

Opened my head up on a lower UHF blade antenna on an A-10 after working around the things for 5 years. The engineers decided to move it from the centerline, where’d I’d always seen and avoided it, to the lower left side under the cockpit ladder on the ‘82 & later models. First ‘82 model jet I worked on I walked smack into it edge on, snapped it off in my nugget, got 38 stitches, a REALLY bad haircut and had to replace the frappin’ thing to boot. Think it cost something like $4800 for the antenna, in 1985.

Wylaff

I once tripped over my own feet while walking down my hallway and broke my foot in 3 places.
I snapped both of my bottom ribs with a sneeze when I was 18.
I tore my rotator cuff trying to wipe my own ass before I lost weight.
I cracked a vertebra in my neck when I was sitting in the back of a side-by-side. I was wearing a helmet, but we hit a bump and I hit a support strut at an odd angle. Couldn't turn my head for about 18 months, and couldn't crack my neck for 4 years after.

I don't consider myself accident-prone, but all evidence points to the contrary.

First_Warrior

Was once painting a roof and stepped back to admire my work. Compound fracture of right wrist. The cast prevented me from rolling back my wrist while riding my motorcycle so I taped a half dozen Popsicle sticks to the throttle so all I had to do was yank it back.

Amos_Umwhat

@Wylaff said:
I once tripped over my own feet while walking down my hallway and broke my foot in 3 places.
I snapped both of my bottom ribs with a sneeze when I was 18.
I tore my rotator cuff trying to wipe my own ass before I lost weight.
I cracked a vertebra in my neck when I was sitting in the back of a side-by-side. I was wearing a helmet, but we hit a bump and I hit a support strut at an odd angle. Couldn't turn my head for about 18 months, and couldn't crack my neck for 4 years after.

I don't consider myself accident-prone, but all evidence points to the contrary.

Winner

dirtdude

What the hell is a tape gun, I might need one.

Rhamlin

I broke my leg one hour after getting the cast of from my previous broken leg. Boy was Dad mad. I’m surprised I lived through that one.

Deadstroke174

Dropped a vacuum cleaner on my foot breaking my big toe the day before my first varsity tournament. Yeah that led to some **** talk from my teammates. I also dislocated my knee getting out of a car, damn sports really did a number on my joints

Cam_91

@Rhamlin said:
I broke my leg one hour after getting the cast of from my previous broken leg. Boy was Dad mad. I’m surprised I lived through that one.

For some reason this is the funniest damn thing to me. Maybe cause I’m a dad now and it would be awful to deal with. Pops was in more pain than you after that one.

@dirtdude

peter4jc

Sliding into first base. No broken bones, just a 5" diameter scab on my left hip. Hint: sober people know you can over-run first base.

Yakster

Here's an image of a tape gun showing the teeth.

Patrickbrick

Most of my stories involve rock climbing and still being alive. Not very exciting.

silvermouse

paper cut

First_Warrior

Was in the wrong place at the wrong time.When the bunker opened up on us I hit the deck and rolled. My butt was the highest point exposed and caught a round over my shoulder and just past my ball socket joint and out through my azz. 110 stitches and eight months later I was riding a BSA 500 CC.

Cam_91

@First_Warrior said:
Was in the wrong place at the wrong time.When the bunker opened up on us I hit the deck and rolled. My butt was the highest point exposed and caught a round over my shoulder and just past my ball socket joint and out through my azz. 110 stitches and eight months later I was riding a BSA 500 CC.

Badāss story, I can relate. I once jumped six inches off the ground to pick an orange from a tree and rolled my ankle coming down, almost threw up from the intense pain. …was walkin again ten minutes later like nothin happened.

Vision

I’m a **** mess.

Jrflickster

@Cam_91 said:

@First_Warrior said:
Was in the wrong place at the wrong time.When the bunker opened up on us I hit the deck and rolled. My butt was the highest point exposed and caught a round over my shoulder and just past my ball socket joint and out through my azz. 110 stitches and eight months later I was riding a BSA 500 CC.

Badāss story, I can relate. I once jumped six inches off the ground to pick an orange from a tree and rolled my ankle coming down, almost threw up from the intense pain. …was walkin again ten minutes later like nothin happened.

Bro you are totally badāss

TX98Z28

Broke my big toe kicking a rather large and heavy ceramic flower pot years ago. Must say it was pretty fvcking dumb!

TX98Z28

@Cam_91 said:
Saw this question online and knew there might be some golden stories in this place: What’s the dumbest way you ever hurt yourself?

I’ve got a couple since I’m accident prone, but this one is probably at the top. Twelve minutes into my shift working as a stock boy, I was using a tape gun to make boxes and the damn thing kicked back after the tape broke… 8 stitches later and I have the scar to this day. Anyone throw their back out sneezing? Lol

Yes, I have. Completely serious.