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Joke - His and Her Diaries

Smoke=FireSmoke=Fire Posts: 692 ✭✭
HER DIARY:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.

Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; he said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior.

I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.

Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep...I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.



HIS DIARY:

Harley wouldn't start today, but at least I got laid.

Comments

  • kuzi16kuzi16 Posts: 14,616 ✭✭✭✭
    ive had days like that.
  • la-henryla-henry Posts: 74
    I had a day like that, I spent good money on a cigar and it was plugged. Nobody around me understood my pain.
  • kaspera79kaspera79 Posts: 7,259 ✭✭✭
    The perfect ending to a bad day..( at least for him )
  • madurofanmadurofan Posts: 6,152
    LMAO, isn't this everyday for almost every married man?
  • dutyjedutyje Posts: 2,263
    you get laid every day? How long have you been married?
  • dutyjedutyje Posts: 2,263
    crap... how long have I been married?
  • dutyjedutyje Posts: 2,263
    what year is this?
  • la-henryla-henry Posts: 74
    dutyje:
    what year is this?
    You better pray that your wife doesn't check up on what you post on the forums. Death by cigar impaling would not be a good way to go.
  • urbinourbino Posts: 4,517
    dutyje:
    you get laid every day? How long have you been married?
    Notice he never said anything about his wife being involved.
  • DiasFlakDiasFlak Posts: 342
    thats very funny
  • madurofanmadurofan Posts: 6,152
    urbino:
    dutyje:
    you get laid every day? How long have you been married?
    Notice he never said anything about his wife being involved.
    HA good one urbs ... I'm a lucky man though what can I say. Well that and I've only been married since October so I'll let you know in a year or so. Of course I think my wife has an understanding of my principle, its a modified version of Ron White's.

    ~~If you won't sleep with me for a week I'll sleep with someone else. I know, I've seen me do it.~~

    I let my wife know I was ok with my spot in hell and she said that a good thing bc she'll be the one that sends me there ....
  • dutyjedutyje Posts: 2,263
    Ah, there you have it.. under a year. We kept a good pace back in those days, but now we're on a more casual twice-a-week schedule. We've been married eight years (9 in Oct), and we've got a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old. That tends to slow things down.
  • madurofanmadurofan Posts: 6,152
    Yea I imagine the kids would slow it down a bit.
  • Smoke=FireSmoke=Fire Posts: 692 ✭✭
    dutyje:
    Ah, there you have it.. under a year. We kept a good pace back in those days, but now we're on a more casual twice-a-week schedule. We've been married eight years (9 in Oct), and we've got a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old. That tends to slow things down.
    Casual, he says. I would throw a party if I got laid twice a week. We've been married for 14 years, and have reached the third stage of sex.

    Stage 1 - Tri-weekly

    Stage 2 - Try Weekly

    Stage 3 - Try, weakly
  • dutyjedutyje Posts: 2,263
    LOL!

    BTW, my wife contends that we're still doing better than 2/week.

    Edit: I totally missed a chance for a PTFTW here
  • madurofanmadurofan Posts: 6,152
    Smoke=Fire:
    dutyje:
    Ah, there you have it.. under a year. We kept a good pace back in those days, but now we're on a more casual twice-a-week schedule. We've been married eight years (9 in Oct), and we've got a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old. That tends to slow things down.
    Casual, he says. I would throw a party if I got laid twice a week. We've been married for 14 years, and have reached the third stage of sex.

    Stage 1 - Tri-weekly

    Stage 2 - Try Weekly

    Stage 3 - Try, weakly
    LMAO!!!! If I hit stage 3, don't bother sending out the search party when you guys no longer hear from me, she'll have killed me.
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