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Cigar Descriptions

How would you like to be the person that has to write up all of the glowing cigar descriptions here, and at all of the other cigar sites?
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Trapped in the People's Communist Republic of Massachusetts.
https://halfwheel.com/liga-maestro-piramide/
https://halfwheel.com/la-careme-robusto/132594/
Here it is
MOW badge received.
https://www.holts.com/cigars/all-cigar-brands/bottom-shelf.html
It starts out with a wet biker leather taste, with a little lemon pepper and trout.
The ash is light brown, like an early morning $h!t.
2nd third,
Starting to get overtones of lobster, morning wood and apple sauce.
Last 3rd.
Pepper corn has kicked in quite a bit, enough that good crap is in order.
The lobster has turned into crabs and the morning wood has tapered off into limpwurst.
Overall, this cigar was like a $3 hooker, with tastes from all over.
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.
Bump for the cigar tasting wheel updates.