Diesel Unlimited

Cigargandist
Cigargandist Posts: 7 ✭
edited February 7 in Ratings & Reviews
It's time to relax after dinner on your average summer evening. I grab the Diesel Unlimited by AJ Fernandez out of the humidor and sit out by the pool. Like any summer evening, a storm is brewing. The oily ligero wrapper is dark like the approaching squall, but not black. Like the storm, it's not ominous enough to cause alarm, but enough to promise an exciting experience. The earthy peppery floral aroma hits the senses like the warm air rushing in to feed the growing tempest.



The first storm watch is issued. I light this stick with the excitement of the first flashes of lightning in the distance. That first strike hits with the tingle of pepper followed by a wave of aged leather like the rumble of thunder in the distance. Mild hints of chocolate emerge, billowing with an oakey note that rise up and forward the way the towering thunderheads ride the convective currents and blow out ahead of the storm.



The second third hits like the squall line. The light drizzle that was the pepper and leather is now a steady rain, strong and pronounced. The chocolate pushes like the first winds of the front, gusting and developing a coffee like character. The thunder and lightning come more frequently now, like the oak tones growing and developing a full and mature essence of a charred bourbon barrel, like one would taste in a single malt. 



By the final third, we are completely engulfed, surrounded by the hammering and bursting of thunder, lightning, wind and rain. The pepper is a full and floral white pepper with a hint of honeysuckle. This mixes in waves with dark coffee, toast, earthy leather and Brazil or macadamia nuts like the alternating waves of wind and rain. But the storm is winding down. The draw is becoming hard now, like how the massive output of the storm eventually chokes out the inflow and cuts off its energy supply. As the chaos winds down, we're left with a lingering toasty chocolate note and a hint of something faintly eucalyptus-like in the diminishing floral character. The cigar, like the storm extinguishes itself, and leaves us in peace with fond memories of the experience.



This is how a full flavored, heavy bodied cigar should be. And it's earned a permanent home in my humidor, for whenever I'm in need of the perfect storm.
Post edited by TheCigarChick on

Comments

  • Rhamlin
    Rhamlin Posts: 9,137 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2020
    ?
  • EgoBoundary
    EgoBoundary Posts: 2,361 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @Cigargandist , no good smokes in 2020?

  • IndustMech
    IndustMech Posts: 5,259 ✭✭✭✭✭

    The avatar on the op looks like Bryson

    I know, You're a big dog and I'm on the list.
    Let's eat, GrandMa.  /  Let's eat GrandMa.  --  Punctuation saves lives
    It'll be fine once the swelling goes down.
                      
                        
    
                
    
            
    
        
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                    ForMud                    
                        
    
                        
                                ForMud
                        

                        
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    Cool story....I hope your meteorology career is going well.
    
                        
    
                        
                      
                        
    
                
    
            
    
        
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                    peter4jc                    
                        
    
                        
                                peter4jc
                        

                        
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    TLDR. ;-)
    
                        
    
                        
    "I could've had a Mi Querida!"   Nick Bardis
                      
                        
    
                
    
            
    
        
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                    Itsfine                    
                        
    
                        
                                Itsfine
                        

                        
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    It wasn't for you, silly.  You don't care about flowery reviews!  It was for Ernest...
    
                        
    
                        
    @ScotchnSmoke sux lots of large wéiners. And tons of small ones. 
                      
                        
    
                
    
            
    
        
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                    silvermouse                    
                        
    
                        
                                silvermouse
                        

                        
                            Posts: 23,557 ✭✭✭✭✭                        
                    
    
                    
    
                        
                                                   
                                                                    
    
                    
                                                
    
                                                    
    
                                    
    
                
    
                    
    
                        
    
                            
    Frank, you have inspired me. Smoking my treasured 10-year-old Robert Burns corona.
    
                        
    
                        
                      
                        
    
                
    
            
    
        
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                    Yakster                    
                        
    
                        
                                Yakster
                        

                        
                            Posts: 31,575 ✭✭✭✭✭                        
                    
    
                    
    
                        
                                                   
                                                                    
    
                    
                                                
    
                                                    
    
                                    
    
                
    
                    
    
                        
    
                            
    
  
    @silvermouse said:
    
  Frank, you have inspired me. Smoking my treasured 10-year-old Robert Burns corona.
    

    


    Their Lanceros go for $50 each.
    


    https://www.cigar.com/p/robert-burns-cigars/1492487/
    
                        
    
                        
    Join us on Zoom vHerf (Meeting # 2619860114 Password vHerf2020 )
                      
                        
    
                
    
            
    
        
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                    silvermouse                    
                        
    
                        
                                silvermouse
                        

                        
                            Posts: 23,557 ✭✭✭✭✭                        
                    
    
                    
    
                        
                                                   
                         edited October 2020                                             
    
                    
                                                
    
                                                    
    
                                    
    
                
    
                    
    
                        
    
                            
    Hell no, not the one with the cuban tobacco, I'm talking about the real thing, $1.10 each:
    http://www.deweyavesmokeshop.com/cigars/domestic/ROBT BURNS.html
    


    Tastes like they might have mixed in a little pipe tobacco, lol.
    


    Brand:
    
Robert Burns
    
Cigar Name:
    
Black Watch
    
Length:
    
5.25
    
Ring Gauge:
    
41
    
Country Manufactured:
    
Dominican Republic
    
United States
    
Filler:
    
Caribbean Basin Cuban Seed
    
Binder:
    
Homogenized Tobacco Leaf
    
Wrapper:
    
Connecticut Shade
    
Homogenized Tobacco Leaf
    
Color:
    
Claro
    
Strength:
    
Mild
    
                        
    
                        
                      
                        
    
                
    
            
    
        
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                    Itsfine                    
                        
    
                        
                                Itsfine
                        

                        
                            Posts: 20,495 ✭✭✭✭✭                        
                    
    
                    
    
                        
                                                   
                                                                    
    
                    
                                                
    
                                                    
    
                                    
    
                
    
                    
    
                        
    
                            
    
  
    @Yakster said:
    
  
  
    
    
    @silvermouse said:
    
    Frank, you have inspired me. Smoking my treasured 10-year-old Robert Burns corona.
    
  
    
  
  
    Their Lanceros go for $50 each.
    
  
  
    https://www.cigar.com/p/robert-burns-cigars/1492487/
    

    


    Funny. How many of these $50 cigars do you think the company taster actually smoked? I find it hilarious that there's a good bit of pepper in it. The only way that you're tasting pepper on that cigar is if you sprinkled some on the wrapper before you lit it up.
    
                        
    
                        
    @ScotchnSmoke sux lots of large wéiners. And tons of small ones. 
                      
                        
    
                
    
            
    
        
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                    EgoBoundary                    
                        
    
                        
                                EgoBoundary
                        

                        
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    @VegasFrank said:
    
  2020 cigar review, the Dutch master...
    
  
  
    As I sat outside one March day, I felt optimistic about the year and my cigars. I had recently won a lotto, just like my golden knights did when they traded a backup goalie to the Blackhawks for the future of the team.  I dig into my dog rocket pile and pull out a Dutch Masters from @Trykflyr_1 and I think to myself, "This, like 2020, isn't so bad."
    
  
  
    As I try to find a cutter, Paul informs me that it already has a hole in the cap, much like the hole left in my soul from the NBA postponing their season.  No matter, I take a cold draw.  Not much there, which reminds me of work, which told me to stop coming in because of a new disease called covid-19.
    
  
  
    I light into this bad boy.  Immediately, my taste buds crash like the stock market as I taste the unadulterated flavor of poorly aged and assembled tobacco. The burn reminds me of a california wildfire, as it hisses and crackles out of control.
    
  
  
    As I get into the second third, the flavor is still holding on, but as perilously as RGB's pancreas. The burn is now flatter than trump's approval rating.  About the only thing that this smoke has going for it is that it doesn't have coronavirus...I think.
    
  
  
    As I enter the final third, I suddenly realize that this cigar is much like a stimulus check. I might be smoking it now, but I'm gonna pay for it later.  Later comes sooner, as this third, much like the final third of 2020, turns into a raging dumpster fire on my taste buds. The notes of earwax (you all know that you know what that tastes like!) and ashtray overpower my palate, and make me long to be in a hermetically sealed limousine with our contagious president. At least then I would no longer be able to taste the pure wickedness of this ghastly cigar.
    
  
  
    I decide to smoke this non-rolled, homogeneous tobacco paper wrapped product to the nub and snap a picture of the tiniest nub in the world before, like 2020, I emphatically close the book on this chapter forever.  So long, 2020, and so long to the Dutch Masters Alaskan General Store special...FOREVER.
    
  
  
    

    


    I read this review, and I started it much like 2020, hopeful at the beginning only to be beaten by its continuous and unforgiving onslaught of unmercifully depressing spirals in to the worst parts of human nature.
    
                        
    
                        
                      
                        
    
                
    
            
    
        
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                    jlmarta                    
                        
    
                        
                                jlmarta
                        

                        
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    Gee, Frank, that’s quite a nub you’ve got there. Were you afraid the ashes might fall behind your teeth? 😜😜
    
                        
    
                        
                      
                        
    
                
    
            
    
        
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                    PhilM111                    
                        
    
                        
                                PhilM111
                        

                        
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    My (shorter) review…I got a 10 pack of the dx torpedo with my last order. M’eh, not impressed.
    
                        
    
                        
                      
                        
    
                
    
            
    
        
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