How to tell if you are old.......
Comments
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You are old if your pocket knife doesn't have a belt clip.
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@First_Warrior said:
You are old if your pocket knife doesn't have a belt clip.Or if your britches have pockets that a pocketknife will actually fit in comfortably.
If it don’t bother me, it don’t bother me. Just leave me alone.
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They wouldn't let me in the hockey game in Tampa until my son took my Swiss Army knife out to the vehicle. I put it in the little basket when I went through the scanner, and everybody freaked. Of course, I have enough metal in my body to set off the scanner anyway, but I just stuck it in there with my keys and phone.
What was I going to do, in their minds?
"Gimme your money or I'll use my tiny scissors to trim your nose hair! I'll tweeze your eyebrows, too, if you give me any lip!"
"Nobody move, or I'll cut this cricket in half!"
For the third time since I was 9 years old, I didn't have a pocket knife in my pocket.
Good grief.
WARNING: The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme. Proceed at your own risk.
"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain7 -
This reminds me of a pocketknife “incident” I had. The wife and boys wanted to go to Dollywood a little while back. I too have always carried a pocketknife, so naturally I forgot I had it until I get in eyesight of the metal detectors. I went ahead and emptied my pockets and when I tossed my belongings in the little basket my spring loaded cigar cutter popped open. That’s when I apparently became a terrorist because none of them had a clue what it was. They conferred about it with each other, then conferred again, then conferred with a security guard…all the while me telling them what it was. Until finally an older gentleman that also worked there happened upon the fuss and said “it’s a damn cigar cutter, it’s fine”. And that was that…but with all the fuss about it they forgot all about my pocketknife, handed it back to me, and told us to have a nice day.
If it don’t bother me, it don’t bother me. Just leave me alone.
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I remember being able to get through airport security with a Swiss Army knife. Mine fell out of my backpack in the 4th or 5th grade a fellow student found it and handed it the teacher. The teacher asked who lost their knife, I raised my hand and she handed it to me. I live in Illinois, if this was today I would have been arrested.
"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give". Winston Churchill.
MOW badge received.5 -
Apparently it's unlawful to use your pocket knife, to open mail in a Post Office, at least I received a warning about it last week.
Don't let the wife know what you spend on guns, ammo or cigars.
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You are old if it takes two hands to open your pocket knife.
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When you need help putting on your coat.
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I love this thread because I relate to all of these. I hate this thread because I relate to all these posts. Yes I remember when this new fast food restaurant called McDonald's showed up and the schools would take the kids there on a field trip. Or the first time a Walmart was built in the area. It's amazing how getting old sneaks up on you.
I was born a fool, and just got bigger!4 -
When you have ridden on one of those mechanical car rides for $o.25 in front of the department or grocery store.
Trapped in the People's Communist Republic of Massachusetts.
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Remember when cable TV only had two channels, A and B.
Trapped in the People's Communist Republic of Massachusetts.
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@ShawnOL said:
When you have ridden on one of those mechanical car rides for $o.25 in front of the department or grocery store.When you’ve done that for a dime.
I'm still troubled by what I did for that Klondike bar...0 -
You're old when you realize you were wrong when you thought you were old five or ten years back.
The plus side is, even though "today's old" seems pretty old, in five or tens years I/we will most likely wish we were only as old as we are now.
"I could've had a Mi Querida!" Nick Bardis3 -
I got carded at the grocery store the other day. They glanced at my ID and said "starts with a 1, you're fine..." Apperantly people born this millennium are adults now...
"Cooking isn't about struggling; It's about pleasure. It's like sǝx, with a wider variety of sauces."
At any given time the urge to sing "In The Jungle" is just a whim away... A whim away... A whim away...2 -
@Trykflyr_1 I remember for a nickel!
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@cbuck said:
@Trykflyr_1 I remember for a nickel!Did you guys have the first radio on the block lol.
I was born a fool, and just got bigger!1 -
I remember when I thought 30 was old. Now I think ahh to be a kid again
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I remember when the only tattooed ladies were in the circus.
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You're old when you realize you were wrong when you thought you were old five or ten years back.
The plus side is, even though "today's old" seems pretty old, in five or tens years I/we will most likely wish we were only as old as we are now.
And when you can't remember what you posted.
"I could've had a Mi Querida!" Nick Bardis8 -
I recently went to my barber and the kid asked me if I wanted my ear hair trimmed. I begrudgingly said yes.
Trapped in the People's Communist Republic of Massachusetts.
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@ShawnOL said:
I recently went to my barber and the kid asked me if I wanted my ear hair trimmed. I begrudgingly said yes.Mine does my ears, nose and eyebrows. I look forward to that more than the hair and beard.
"Cooking isn't about struggling; It's about pleasure. It's like sǝx, with a wider variety of sauces."
At any given time the urge to sing "In The Jungle" is just a whim away... A whim away... A whim away...2 -
I am old because I can remember having to move the assistant principal's desk so he could get "swinging room" before he beat me with his custom paddle. I think that was in response to me for setting off firecrackers in a school stairwell.
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My ear hair grows at twice the rate of that on my head.
Don't let the wife know what you spend on guns, ammo or cigars.
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You sexy **** you!
"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give". Winston Churchill.
MOW badge received.2 -
@First_Warrior said:
I am old because I can remember having to move the assistant principal's desk so he could get "swinging room" before he beat me with his custom paddle. I think that was in response to me for setting off firecrackers in a school stairwell.Yeah, I remember Coach Ferguson telling me "wait right here while I go get my paddle"
Sure coach, off he went to his office...
Sound of my feet leaving quickly.
Coach was about 6 foot 5
WARNING: The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme. Proceed at your own risk.
"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain4
